king_aaq11
Fapstronaut
(Disclaimer: I watched a NoFap video from Hamza who mentioned to share your porn addiction story to someone or on NoFap community to feel better and open up. That's why I am writing this long story it might not be perfect but I'll try my best to explain it in a better way.)
I have been bottling up all the emotions, pain, anger and failures from porn addiction since a decade now. Now it's upto release all out.
First of all, this crippling addiction started with curiosity as for many of us normally would, one day I found an adult movie scene on my cousin's phone when I was probably 10 years old, I used to watch it multiple times when my cousin is not around.
Then, I used to search these inappropriate terms on my PSP (I know it's kind of funny, LOL) and watch hot women pics pretending to play games. That felt good and pleasurable which continued for many occasions.
Here comes the first porn video, when no one was around the computer I accidentally got directed to porn video, which I didn't even like, I was disgusted and immediately closed that tab. But I was into ti*s and hot curves of women not particularly sex those days.
When I was around 12 years I started hearing about porn sites, chitty chats from my friends frequently which increased my curiosity and interest for porn even more. Then, I used to borrow my fathers laptop saying I have school project and watch porn secretly in my room and clear all history as no traces were found.
It happened over again and again, I watched porn whenever I got a chance. And sadly it continued for years, I knew it was wrong, after every relapse I seek forgiveness for the sin I made and after few days I did the same mistake following the rabbit hole.
Years pass by the content I started to consume got more extreme and taboo now normal porn doesn't even arouse me, I also keep scrolling for that perfect taboo stuff. Now even after about an decade of consuming this highly stimulus still I am that person who is struggling to quit this addiction.
The amount of opportunities I have missed, the rejections, failures, loss of value and respect, the depression and anxiety I developed, lack of confidence and self esteem, the relationships I lost... The list goes on for the consequences I have got due this filthy crap.
Thinking back in time, I was not 100% responsible for this addiction, yes I started it with curiosity when I was a little boy and it multiplied over time turning into an huge tree which I cannot cut it down. But that's not the excuse I can give, I have to take responsibility now for the consequences and actions I am going to take forward.
It hurts a lot thinking about the past and future of my life because I don't have any bad addictions in my life apart from porn and social media. It took away many things from me, I could have been a different individual without this addiction.
Now at present I get so angry, depressed and frustrated whenever I relapse thinking I know all the bad things it bought me and I continue the same rabbit hole. However even though after so many struggles I always pick myself up and keep fighting hoping that one day I'll be free from this all and my life would change for the better.
I know many people out their have your unique stories, the way you got hooked for this addiction, don't believe what the society is try to persuade you, porn is no good man. I found a lot of hope and confidence from Hamza Ahamed (on YouTube) watch his NoFap videos you will find it useful as well.
Stay strong plas , cheers!
I have been bottling up all the emotions, pain, anger and failures from porn addiction since a decade now. Now it's upto release all out.
First of all, this crippling addiction started with curiosity as for many of us normally would, one day I found an adult movie scene on my cousin's phone when I was probably 10 years old, I used to watch it multiple times when my cousin is not around.
Then, I used to search these inappropriate terms on my PSP (I know it's kind of funny, LOL) and watch hot women pics pretending to play games. That felt good and pleasurable which continued for many occasions.
Here comes the first porn video, when no one was around the computer I accidentally got directed to porn video, which I didn't even like, I was disgusted and immediately closed that tab. But I was into ti*s and hot curves of women not particularly sex those days.
When I was around 12 years I started hearing about porn sites, chitty chats from my friends frequently which increased my curiosity and interest for porn even more. Then, I used to borrow my fathers laptop saying I have school project and watch porn secretly in my room and clear all history as no traces were found.
It happened over again and again, I watched porn whenever I got a chance. And sadly it continued for years, I knew it was wrong, after every relapse I seek forgiveness for the sin I made and after few days I did the same mistake following the rabbit hole.
Years pass by the content I started to consume got more extreme and taboo now normal porn doesn't even arouse me, I also keep scrolling for that perfect taboo stuff. Now even after about an decade of consuming this highly stimulus still I am that person who is struggling to quit this addiction.
The amount of opportunities I have missed, the rejections, failures, loss of value and respect, the depression and anxiety I developed, lack of confidence and self esteem, the relationships I lost... The list goes on for the consequences I have got due this filthy crap.
Thinking back in time, I was not 100% responsible for this addiction, yes I started it with curiosity when I was a little boy and it multiplied over time turning into an huge tree which I cannot cut it down. But that's not the excuse I can give, I have to take responsibility now for the consequences and actions I am going to take forward.
It hurts a lot thinking about the past and future of my life because I don't have any bad addictions in my life apart from porn and social media. It took away many things from me, I could have been a different individual without this addiction.
Now at present I get so angry, depressed and frustrated whenever I relapse thinking I know all the bad things it bought me and I continue the same rabbit hole. However even though after so many struggles I always pick myself up and keep fighting hoping that one day I'll be free from this all and my life would change for the better.
I know many people out their have your unique stories, the way you got hooked for this addiction, don't believe what the society is try to persuade you, porn is no good man. I found a lot of hope and confidence from Hamza Ahamed (on YouTube) watch his NoFap videos you will find it useful as well.
Stay strong plas , cheers!