This is My Story: Let's Overcome The Dark Side Of Us

Hi Everyone ! I Was born in 25 th September,1991. Actually ,I had an excellent childhood. My first met with my computer I was about 7 or 8 years old boy. Windows 95-Windows 98 I have seen a lot of even this old software systems. When I got my first videogame,FIFA 2000,I can’t tell this emotion of happiness with that game.I basically say this ‘’It was awesome ! ‘’

In this periods of time,my family became richer. And my father was taking too much alcohol. He became on alcoholic and he was having more disgusting personality then.I have an elder sister and this issue was to scarying for both of us specially for my mother.He was coming our home at the late nights and he was fighting with my mom. He was scarying for all of us and olso he was disturbing our neighboors at our apartment .While these issves happening I was about age of 10 and my mother was standing to this man for only our futures. When I was about 14 years old they have divorced and I got relax and I feel more comfortable afterwords…

Until I met first pornographic content. When my first year of the middle school. I have watched my first porn movie in a friend’s house as Video CD player. I can still remember the pleasure of that first porn movie. It was like excellent ! When I got tihs pleasure ,I didn’t want to quit this habbit. In following years I developed some kind of fetishes like highschool,panty etc.I had very obsessed about this kind of women and they made me more arousal crazily. And then. I registered a highschoolwho leads oppressive,authoritarian,ignorant people.My fetishes was developing increasingly. I was fantasizing could lead pornography when I come back to home and I was trying to satisfy myself with hours of hours ''PMO sessions.'' I was masturbating multiple times a day ,maybe 4 or 5 times

But I failed to Express myself to them because I was a diffident fucking loser. I finished the highschool that torturing and suffering to myself with this feelings in 4 years. I was trying to prepare exams for University in my country with this foggy brain. Anyway, I won some faculties of Universities after 3 years struggling.I decided to registered department of Philosophy afterwards. By the way my porn using was increasing much more…I was hanging the school and I didn’t go the college. I just doing tihs while I was see the girls in class I put together with my fantasies between porn movies like tube sites. I was made connections with this fetishes and I made relations between how they looked and I was searching keywords with my keyboard to porn related to their appearences. So I failed many times and decided to give up this Philosophy department. And I have on department of business. But I still don’t go the school because of procrastination. I am planning to finish this faculty with open plan schools. I mean distance education. But I am lying to my family about my education or other situation in my life. My life passed with lies a lot of years unfortunately they don’t know about it.

I met a girl about 1.5 years ago and we loved eachoter. This relotionship still goes on. She tells me ‘’you are so lethergic. ''Why you don’t have energy? ''I am the only one who knows the real reason of this numbnesss it is PORN. Unfortunately I can’t explain anybody this secret without my little cousin we almost talked everything about this issue with him. Reasons and results.That’s what I am in this way. While I am reading this words. I am listening Coldplay-Fix You . I hope all of us can overcome this process. I summarized my story as I can because it can be a novel .I am 27 years old man from the Country of Turkey. I hope that helps for you all.Best wishes,take care of yourself.