This is not as easy as i thought . Got cured and then..... READ THIS

Okay guys, so this a battle we all have and its not that easy its even very hard. Ive been on and off on streaks and its been hell trying to quit this demon.
SO i started a year ago after getting ed. Since summer 2017 Ive been fighting it without big results untill january. Then i had a good streak untill mid february and starting seeing results. Hope was back up. Little do i know in march i was back on bindging and had to start all over again.. Had a good streak to mid april and thats when i met this girl. Started Having succsefull sex and i was lets say 80 % cured . i kept seeing her untill mid june thats when we split. And what happend ? i started faping more often again. HOW ? how after tasting victroy and getting your life back we fall again into this demons ?? when you say to yourself its soo easy all you have to do is stay off pmo but nooo you keep doing it even if you know its fucking you up. Its strange tho even if i have an addiction im not so hooked on porn i can stop that when i want. my thing seems to be sexting. you know finding girls and sexting with them on snap. i just cant stop doing that. Ive tried soo many times to stop and i keep finding a way and ending up doing it. its like im not controling myself its someone else, and as soon as i O im back to myself again. ive been so depressed cus of this thing its killing my mind. Im an athlete so its killing my performance eneregy etc...the problem is i dont work now and stoped university to apply for a sports school. So i had all this free time and didnt work and every time i fap i feel like im wasting my life and doing nothing. but the next days comes and i still have so much free time and this cicle is killing me. This past week i was very sick didnt get out from bed for 5 days and coudnt eat. it was hell. this is where i hit rock bottom. i looked at porn again . i hadnt done that since january. did it a couple of times and i told myself this is it.. as my sickess dies my pmo ways die with it . Yesturday i was cured and i really felt good and happy and as if i dont need to pmo ever again. i felt like im back to my grip on life . Felt GREAT. and this morning i had a sexting session with a girl on snap again and guess what happend..... its driving me crazy i dont get why is it so hard to stop doing one simple and useless thing that makes us feel like shit. so here i am again 2018 one year since i started and im at square 1 again. i think ed is here again not as strong but still. i dont know give me some techniques i have to stay away from my phone and snap i need my life in hands i need to re train my brain. I wont quit i will win. WE WILL ALL WIN
thanks for the time guys i will appriciate your replies
sorry for my english

 

Youre right brothers, its all about discipline. And its not like i dont go out often. I mean on weekdays i get succes in bars its just i dont know why i continue this virtual shit, i suppose it was because of the free time i had. Ill stop i know ill do im just worried if it has done already crusal damage to my brain, cus i feel kinda slow to take in information which makes me feel insecure. Or its maybe just flatline and it will clear up with time. But yes for sure we are our biggest enemies, we all have the key to succes yet we chose not to use it sometimes. Gotta say to yourself.. its now or never so here goes. The start of a new life