This is possibly the hardest thing I ever done in my life.

Nofap is not for the weak, after a whole month of completely abstaining from PMO, I wanted to throw in the towel, I kept asking my self why am I doing this? I became depressed, anxious and I even was suicidal at one point. 3 days ago I was just sitting there watching stuff on my tablet something just snapped in my head and I felt as if I became numb and lifeless, I started walking around in my room back and forth wondering what happened, then I eventually went to the store to get something and for some fresh air but I felt off balance, I thought i was going to die right there and then. I was asking myself what have I done? its like I was tripping on a drug but I didn't take any, the only changes I made was nofap. I felt breathing problems, confusion, slurred speech, I was even going out of character. There was definitely some changes going on which was worrying, ever since then my back, shoulder and lower back problems got worse. Since the beginning of this month it seem that nothing has been going well for me, I dont know why but I've been getting a series of misfortune in a row, nothing good was happening to me and my neck and back allign was irritatting the hell out of me. All those problems caused me to drift off my path and routine. And everything I did today took every ounce of will power I had in me, I literally said to myself plently of times "god please just kill me". this nofap thing is NOT a joke. I don't know if my problems will get better, I feel that because of my stiffness and misalignment and other problems I'm destined for a life of mediocrity.

On another note the females have been seeing changes in me, but not as drastic as people make it out to be in forums like nofap is a pussy magnet. Thats not true. from my case study what they responded to is the fact that I don't look at them in the same way as I used to when I pmo'd frequently. Yes they do smile at you more but its up to you to make your move, which I haven't cause dating and relationship is too complicated and time consuming for me to deal with, if I partitioned a space for that endeavour in my brain I feel like it'll take up quite a lot and I won't get anything in terms of my own personal pursuits done, so yes my goals are at a cost of female companionship but thats price I have to pay to be a better me. Through out my late teens I've lived vicariously thru my closest friends and their relationship while I was developing skills in things with more intrinsic value to me and I've noticed how much time and headaches they spent dealing with females till they found one that put their at ease, from what I noticed its that most females will give men a harder time EVEN if she likes him too.

These are some of the observations I've seen during my rebooting process and I'm crippled mentally and physically but thats probably due to the amount of pornography i consumed and how much I've fapped over the years. Everyone is different.

 

I am sorry to hear that you are having a shitty day Joe. Take some encouragement that tomorrow you will have stayed clean for 7 weeks! Kicking butt buddy!

 

You're just rewiring, my friend. Just let your mind and body go through the process. Don't fight it, but embrace it.

By abstaining from PMO, you're allowing your body to go back to default, a state that you cannot remember, so while it is rebooting back to that stage, you're going to experience certain discomforts in your body and emotions that you have not felt before. It's okay, just go through it and continue to learn as you already are.

 

Comorbidity is a bitch and when you factor in an intense 24/7 challenge like NoFap it will be very difficult indeed, That's the truth Zein, with no sugar coating. There is no magic wand, no shortcut. You have to really want to stop masturbating to people having sex. If your motivation is sound, you will do it. You will likely have setbacks along the way, but you will do it. I believe in you. Keep the faith brother.

 

Love that.

The straight forward approach is always the best approach. I learn the most when people don't sugar coat things and aren't afraid to say things how it is. Keep doing that. I need to hear this shit, especially since urges are ramping up these days..

Even though my struggle was never with hardcore porn, this is still good to hear, nonetheless.

 

Thanks for the support and making sense of what Im currently experiencing, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, truth be told I thought it would be easier than this but I was wrong. I'm currently still in the procress of getting my life back in order, good news is that I'm starting muay thai this month and I hope my fatigue and problems from pmo and inactivity doesn't get in the way of my combat training. As some of you where whom I interacted with here would know that Im on the path to becoming a warrior and Im really into self improvement in every sense of the word, that means physically mentally and spiritually. My martial arts training, strength training and new diet plan will incorporated into my lifestyle so it can become second nature to me and that is 3 things which are my priorities now. I pray that things will become easier for me, preferably during some thing this year.