this is the reason why men watch porn!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Thomas Smith, Mar 24, 2019.

  1. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Boys are just as desired as girls are. I think when you are single and very young, no matter your gender, you might find yourself in a situation where nudity becomes fascinating and soon enough all your social interactions with the opposite sex are replaced by on screen activities. It's also highly encouraged among boys, while for girls, this is a taboo subject. Since girls aren't encouraged to explore their sexuality, the statistics for them watching porn is also lower.

    The lesbian searches... Well, as someone said here, Pornhub isn't a reliable source. I think actually it's more wishful thinking from men. They are not comfortable with the thought of women watching male genitals, so they usually say that girls watch other girls. All women I know, including myself, have basically only been subjected to heterosexual material. The lesbian stuff would never turn me on.
     
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  2. MadWoman

    MadWoman Fapstronaut

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    I'm not an expert, but...
    The entire premise behind this theory hinges on the idea that porn masturbation and resulting orgasms have to do with sex when every expert I have ever witnessed on this subject says that it has nothing to do with sex at all. It has to do with addiction, and the necessity of the body to receive an infusion of dopamine to service that addiction. If it were about sex, this theory could potentially have merit. But it is not.
    Look, I don't hardly ever have anything to say here and just choose to read and learn and ignore a lot. But this level of misinformation is very unhelpful, and potentially harmful to those of us who are trying to find answers and our husbands who are trying to recover from this terrible disease.
    I also think it is worth pointing out, the younger generation coming of age today, has very little difficulty having sex with one another according to my teenagers. Oh, the stories I've heard and if these walls could talk. Lack of opportunity for sex is not a problem.
     
  3. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Who's responsibility do you think it is to "make it easier for men to get sex"?
     
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  4. @Ridley, you just passed the year anniversary of joining this site. Congrats dude!
     
  5. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, friend :) I still have progress to make in my recovery, but I'm confident I will heal from this addiction given enough time.
     
  6. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    There are also many pieces of anecdotal evidence to support the idea that the development of porn addiction has nothing to do with sex. My own story is one of those anecdotes. When I first started watching porn, it wasn't about sex at all. When I found out about it, I hadn't even hit puberty yet. I heard about it from a friend at a sleepover party when I was in middle school. I started watching it on my own because I thought it was cool. Eventually, it started to coincide with my body as I was able to get erections, and that's when it really took off.

    My father was an alcoholic and he was very abusive towards me and my brothers. Porn served as a way for me to privately make myself feel better back in those days, and it worked. It was my own private little safe-room where nothing could hurt me and there was nothing but good feelings in my head. If I had known about the negative side-effects, I wouldn't have done it in the first place.

    It was never about sex for me or feeling sexually frustrated. I've never had problems with talking to women or being in relationships. It was about numbing negative experiences, and it wasn't until I started to face those negative experiences honestly that I really started to recover.
     
  7. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    Ok, I don't doubt that some guys are very sexually desired before they got porn-addicted. But you would admit that females generally express sexual desire in males less than males express sexual desire in females, wouldn't you?

    This is true, but if you see the articles on Fight The New Drug's FB page, women watch lesbian porn way, way, way, way more than guys watch gay porn. And Pornhub is far and away the biggest porn site in the world, is it not? What are the odds that these facts don't point to a huge difference in the viewing preferences between men and women? Almost nil.

    I'm middle-aged, and I realize things have changed. But I see enough Hallmark and Lifetime movies to know that kids aren't that much different. It is still expected that the boys do the "hitting on". Even with more girls being assertive these days, I doubt they've caught up to boys. I'll bet you anything that an average-looking girl gets hit on still quite a bit more than an average-looking boy.

    This is where my argument suffers. You're right - this is different than decades ago. I still would say that lack of desire plays a major part in boys/guys getting more hooked on porn.
     
  8. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    I feel you contradict yourself a little here, Lilla_My. First you say boys are just as desired as girls are. Then you admit that girls aren't encouraged to explore their sexuality. Because of this latter point (and others), boys don't get hit on as much as girls do.

    Pornhub published detailed stats each year. It's not wishful thinking from men.
     
  9. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    Society.
     
  10. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    I meant that girls are not encouraged to watch porn. Ever. Boys talk about that, girls do not. Its not considered an ok subject to talk about.

    Girls talk about boys, they fall in love with boys, fantasize about being asked out by boys. I have no idea what you mean by boys not being desired.

    As for the lesbian stuff, maybe lesbians watch more porn than others. I have no idea. What I do know is that many heterosexual women nowadays are into man on man porn (adult women speak rather candidly about sex). I am sure many women have been curious about what lesbian porn is like, but heterosexual women will virtually always prefer to watch nude good looking men. I would take the pornhub statistic with a grain of salt if I were you. How do they know which user is male or female? For real? It's better to trust real scientific rapports IMO. Or, actually speak to some real women.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2019
  11. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    No, not in this generalized way. It think - on average - they just express it differently. Expressing sexual desire isn't necessarily a physical action like walking up to a person and start talking.

    That's a whole different claim; it has nothing to do with your original assumption. Also, FTND's statistics aren't fully reliable either most likely. Nevertheless I find it plausible to assume, that on average there are more women watching lesbian porn, than men watching gay porn. So, to a that degree I agree.

    I never disagreed, that there might be differences in porn-type preferences between men and women.

    However
    , that doesn't mean in the least, that women watch less heterosexual porn than men: You seem to believe, that women watch lesbian porn and therefore they don't watch other types of porn. I highly doubt that assumption. Like men, women don't just watch one genre of porn most likely. Thus, a higher number of homosexual porn doesn't relate to a lower number in heterosexual porn.

    If you apply a more narrow definition of "hitting on" (i.e. walking up to a person and initiate a conversation, giving compliments, etc.), that seems somewhat plausible. Whether or not this "cultural expection" is a good or bad thing, is up for debate I guess.

    ...and these statistics aren't reliable for the reason I already mentioned earlier:


    I respect your view, but for all the reasons the other members and I listed in this thread, I have to strongly disagree.
     
  12. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    @IR254 is right. What individual companies post as statistics would never be considered a reliable source in the scientific community. Any website, or private company, will present whatever they find most suitable for their own gains.

    It might very well be true that females watch more gay material than men do. But it still doesn't represent the preference of the majority. When I hear that women always watch lesbian material, it's a man who says it. I've never ever heard it from a straight woman. Not even once.
     
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  13. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    Lilla_My, what good is it if girls just talk about boys and fantasize about them? I'm talking about sexual desire that is EXPRESSED. What good is it for a boy if some girls want him physically but they don't let him know that? Think of it from the perspective of a typical boy. He goes through his week rarely having any girl show him they want him physically. Now think of a typical girl. She gets way more EXPRESSED interest. Desire that isn't expressed does no good. That's what I'm talking about. Sorry if I was misleading. Girls KNOW they are desired way more than boys do, because boys hit on girls more than girls hit on boys, in general. So your average boy feels unwanted, which is a horrible feeling, and no doubt contributes to their high levels of porn use.
     
  14. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    I doubt one thing has to do with another. Most teenage boys have no problem watching porn even if they have girlfriends.

    Even if we forced all 13 year olds to have sex with each other so no one would feel "lonely", which in itself is a horrible idea, it still wouldn't curb the porn epidemic. Porn and intimate relationships are two different things and one doesn't quite compare with the other.

    Its like when people suggest that prostitution should be legal to stop raping from happening. Time and time again science tells us that rape occurs more often in countries where prostitution is legal.

    Porn should be highly restricted and come with warnings like everything else that is harming people mentally and physically. Young boys and girls should never be subjected to adult situations, and encouraging them to have sex is really not the answer.
     
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  15. MadWoman

    MadWoman Fapstronaut

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    Why are we having this argument? The fact is, man has since the beginning of time been programmed and conditioned to conquer, control and rule over everything including women. Women have been programmed and conditioned to be submissive, subservient and obedient...right up until the 20th century. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I can remember growing up in an environment and household where boys were the studs and girls were the whores the higher their body count. It is a sick and disgusting double standard. Then again, if it weren't for double standards, addicts wouldn't have any standards at all. But let's be fair about it men. You did set the standard. Quite honestly, this entire premise is extremely outdated and underscores what it means to be a male chauvinist pig, and is overly offensive to every woman out there. I'm surprised you don't go around peeing on trees. I have never known anyone who wasn't interested in having sex with their mate all the time unless there was some underlying problem in the relationship. If you do not like our attitudes and sexual responsiveness, just remember that attitude reflects leadership. As he is the head of the household, I just react to my husband's behavior.

    Aside from that, I want to continue to reinforce the fact that pornography, masturbation and the orgasmic responses have nothing to do with sex. I don't know from where you get your information, but it is sorely lacking substantiation of facts to back it up. It's just your opinion. For someone who works in a law office, the attorneys I work for call that hearsay. I don't even know why I'm saying this to you. I've got better things to do with my time, but your continued responses are rather upsetting to me. I truly do find it offensive to the intelligence of all women. I think I will go back to ignoring people and just read like I used to.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2019
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  16. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    MadWoman, what are you upset with being said in this thread? I thought a lawyer had to be specific with her objections, but I can't tell what you are objecting to.
     
  17. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    What are some examples of expressing sexual desire without physical action like approaching and talking?

    Agreed.

    Please explain a more broad definition of "hitting on".
     
  18. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    You know some mighty poor excuses for experts. Saying that sexual things like PMO have NOTHING to do with sex AT ALL is asinine.

    Ask your teenagers how often girls ask boys for sex vs. how often boys ask girls for sex.
     
  19. Like crack and Cuban cigars. Exactly.

    @Thomas Smith, you must have solved it. Girls are the problem. They've been the reason I watched porn all along. Either they are asking for objectification by being sluts or driving me to use porn by being prude. If only they had sex with me when I was young, but not whored around too much because that's nasty. I mean I should be able to sleep around because I'm aroused more visually. Its science. I suggest you get the word out. Everyone teach their daughters to EXPRESS themselves just right. Not too slutty, not too prudish, not too thirsty, not too goofy, not too feminist, not too subservient, not too clingy, not too wild, not too reserved, not too late, not too early, not too young, not too old......forever and ever.

    Women do you part on the home front to curb porn! Show a boy you like their body!
     
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  20. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    Ok, very clever use of font size. I like it. And I get your point. But, now here's a novel idea, listen close now - how about telling girls to just be honest! If they like a boy, tell him! And not give a flying F what other people think. I know - radical idea, huh?
     
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