This is what PIED is, and how to get rid of it

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by modernstore99, Nov 24, 2019.

  1. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Through my personal knowledge and experience, I am writing what I hope is a pretty good guide for those with PIED. A lot of the stuff on NoFap is theoretical, unrealistic, and unspecific for many, so I'm gonna give what I hope is a good map for understanding and defeating PIED.

    What is PIED?
    In short, PIED (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction) is the inability to attain and hold erections for sexual pleasure; it is caused by the misuse of porn. Due to porn's hyper-arousing properties and other biological factors, your brain begins to overly associate feelings of sexual arousal with porn, and disassociate arousal, erections, and climax with real people. While porn becomes very arousing and consuming, regular people "aren't enough" anymore. It's like a drug addict moving to harder and harder drugs since the old ones don't have the same kick anymore. Reusing porn frequently and for long periods of time literally creates neurons in the sexual reward centers of the brain that are wired for porn, and allows those wired to people to wither and die. Additionally, non-sexual acts and senses associated with porn are related to sexual pleasure/function (touching yourself, being alone, looking at screens, not-moving, etc.), and the experiences felt during real sex become foreign and un-arousing (seeing someone naked, the tastes and smells of another person, thrusting/adjusting, etc.).

    I am simplifying all this information from Your Brain on Porn (YBOP), which is the most-comprehensive collection of porn-related afflictions. Imo, it is better than NoFap in terms of actual information and data, and is definitely better than me lol. Check it out (https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/mis...-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/)

    How do I get rid of my PIED?
    While everyone has different experiences, I have learned through YBOP and through my own dealings with PIED that there are three main steps. The exact parameters of each step vary from person to person, but understanding what they are will help you decide what you should do.

    Step 1: The Reboot
    For those that don't know, a reboot is a break from masturbation and sex, and allows your brain to "reset". The purpose of the reboot is to allow the neurons in your brain wired to porn to wither and die.

    For getting rid of PIED, the best reboot is a 90 day Hard Mode. This means that for 90 days, you may not seek arousal in anything besides another human, you may not be stimulated sexually or sensually, and you cannot seek and accomplish orgasm. Neurons in your brain have to be activated frequently to stay fresh; if they are never activated, they eventually die, even if they're not replaced. The neurons wired to porn in your brain have connected:
    • porn and other arousing media, objects, and situations
    • masturbation/stimulation
    • orgasm
    Starving your brain of these three things will eventually kill the porn-wired neurons. However, activating any of the connections will refresh the entire neuron, keeping the neurons fresh. This is why having sex or masturbating without porn doesn't work; the neurons are still there, and have just been refreshed. Guys who do a reboot and then have sex have been shown to get rid of PIED much faster than those who just start having sex exclusively.

    However, studies have shown that engaging in sexual behaviors with partners that are not sexually stimulating are very beneficial in the long-run for PIED. Since arousal from a partner is not connected to the porn-wired neurons, it does not activate the neuron, allowing them to wither away. Actions like kissing, cuddling, sleeping together, and manual/oral pleasure on your partner have been shown to "sensitize" those with PIED, and prime you for sexual acts after the reboot. As long as the act does not include porn or sexually stimulating the individual with PIED, it is ok. This is not necessary for getting rid of PIED, but highly encouraged.

    Step 2: Resensitization
    Resensitization is engaging positive sexual behaviors with a partner after your reboot. The purpose of resensitization is to create neurons in your brain that are wired to sexual pleasure with a partner. The reboot is not the only step in getting rid of PIED, and imo is not even the most important one. After your reboot, your brain's sexual reward centers are a clean-slate. You have to start having sex and doing other sexual acts to create neurons in your brain wired to:
    • arousal because of another human being
    • stimulation from penetration and other sex acts
    • orgasm
    At first, sex and other acts may not feel very pleasurable or exciting. You may not be very erect, or erect at all. This is because your brain has been wiped clean, and doesn't quite know what to think of sex yet. If you keep having sex, you brain will be more aroused and make you harder every time, which will make the sex more pleasurable each time. It's important to be in the moment with your partner (instead of thinking about porn or other things), to do whatever feels good (instead of doing what you think should feel good), and to have fun (obviously aha). If you're focusing on your erection or your performance, it won't feel very good and you'll probably go soft. If you're thinking about cumming or trying to cum, you won't. If you do whatever feels good and have fun, you'll enjoy yourself much more. It usually takes 1-1.5 months of sex 2-3 times a week for prime sexual function to become constant.

    Since many guys aren't very erect the first few time after a reboot, the positions I recommend are missionary, spooning, and sometimes the "speed-bump" (girl on stomach, go in from behind). Most importantly, you don't need to have a 100% erection to do any of them; in missionary, most penises slide in and fit pretty well, and in the other two, the tightness makes it very pleasurable. They also require little movement; many guys with PIED have noticed that in positions where the waist is above the knees (doggy, standing, etc.) they cannot stay very hard. This is because these positions allow blood to flow from the crotch to the legs (which need extra blood for the exertion), and the large muscular movements in the crotch area often interfere with the muscles that cause erections. However, this goes away after about 2 months of consistent sex.

    In general, after the reboot, start having sex, and keep doing it until it feels really good. Then just keep doing it lol

    Step 3: Healthy Sexual Lifestyle
    If you are having consistent sex with your partner with at least 9/10 erections, your PIED is gone. However, it is very possible for it to come back though. The purpose of a healthy sexual lifestyle is to set up behaviors and situations that will make it harder for porn to cause your PIED again.

    These behaviors include, but are not limited to, ...
    • consistent sex, with a monogamous partner or temporary ones
    • a life that includes interactions with people you are interested in sexually, even if you are not trying to have sex with them
    • replacing time spent with porn/masturbation with a very beneficial activity (exercise, socializing, cooking, etc.)
    • getting rid of sexual paraphernalia, especially items that may be part of a fetish
    • not spending much time in the place you used to masturbate (except for sleeping)
    • masturbating at most once a week between sex with partners, and of course...
    • NO PORN
    While some members may disagree, YBOP and myself have concluded that porn is what causes PIED. Masturbation is complicit, but as long as it is used responsibly (although it can be dangerous), masturbation only very rarely causes ED. Guys who watch porn and don't masturbate take much longer to recover from PIED than guys who masturbate without porn.

    Beginning a sexual lifestyle that pushes you away form porn will make it harder for PIED and porn addiction to come back if you ever fall into the trap of porn again. Having great sex with a partner, having little time for porn, and just being overall happy makes it very hard for porn to affect you again.

    If you have questions just hmu. I went through all of this as well; I went from being unable to achieve any erection at all while in bed with a girl to having sex 2-3 times a week with a very very very hard dick. The highlights of the path were:
    • the 90 day reboot (no arousing media/objects, no masturbation)
    • during the reboot I spent a lot of time with my girlfriend, acclimated myself to her (kissing, cuddling, etc.), and focused on her sexual pleasure
    • consistent sex with my girlfriend after the reboot, even though I wasn't very hard and it didn't feel so good at first
    • avoiding porn and masturbation

    The best place for me on my journey was YBOP. It is all curated by sex addiction and PIED experts, and has the best information. Good luck. You can get rid of this
     
  2. Basheer99

    Basheer99 Fapstronaut

    Hey @modernstore99 that was an amazing post! Lot's of useful insights that can help a lot of PIED guys.

    Here is a quick info of my situation:
    1. 34 y/o Man, Single, Never had sex (didn't use some opportunities intentionally)
    2. Started MO at age 7 or 8 and PMO at age 17 and PMOing almost twice daily at least till recently.
    3. Severe PIED since March 2018. Can't get aroused without porn.
    4. Started 90 day NoPMO recently and doing good so far

    My question is: Can I get out of the PIED after 90 day or 180 day Monk/Hard Mode NoPMO - WITHOUT the need of a girl helping me to re-wire? I don't want to have sex till I'm married. OR Is it not possible to get out of PIED without a girl helping me? I'm confused.... Please Help me!

    Thank you!
     
    FreakoWeirdo likes this.
  3. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut


    Well no matter how many days of no PMO you do, you can only "teach" your brain what to "wire" to with physical stimulation. After a reboot, your brain isn't quite sure what it finds highly arousing, since it's been wiped clean; you'll still get butterflies in your stomach and feel good when a partner touches you intimately, but repeated stimulation is needed to develop neurons which respond quickly and intensely to a partner. Each time you have a sexual encounter, your mind thinks "This feels nice, I'll be harder/more aroused next time". More arousal and erection leads to better sex, which leads to higher arousal and a better erection next time. More arousal/erection>>>more stimulation>>>more arousal/erection>>>more stimulation>>>more arousal/erection>>>more stimulation, and so on until the brain is heavily "wired" to partners.

    When you're young, the wiring process is easier because your hormones cause you to always be erect, which allows heavy wiring to happen with relatively new sexual experiences. Older guys with PIED must rewire their brain with an actual partner over time to fully escape PIED.

    For better explanations, I would check out these links...

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/do-i-have-to-have-sex-in-order-to-rewire/
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/

    Also, erectile dysfunction is technically only related to erections during sexual intercourse; you can't fully know the extent of your PIED until you have sex.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019 at 1:43 PM
    winningover likes this.
  4. Basheer99

    Basheer99 Fapstronaut

    Got it. Thank you so much, @modernstore99 I've gone through the links, will watch those video links at the end of the article. I guess I will wait till I'm engaged and will try with my partner.
     
  5. ppr_kuttt

    ppr_kuttt Fapstronaut

    I have a question. I have a boyfriend and we live together. Maybe not having sex with him will be a bit hard. Can I do a reboot based only on No Porn and No Masturbation? If it’s possible, any advice or tips?
     
  6. ewerson18

    ewerson18 Fapstronaut

    20
    6
    3
    Do you have morning woods?
     
  7. ppr_kuttt

    ppr_kuttt Fapstronaut

    No. But sometimes I have bones. Problem is: they don’t last, and Infeel nothing.
     
  8. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    You can do a reboot while having sex, but this route is thought to take much longer to full recovery. Here is what Your Brain on Porn says about that type of reboot.

    Rebooting with a partner: What about sex?
    What do I say to my mate?
    Porn-induced ED: What do I tell my girlfriend?
    What if my partner is a porn addict?
    Handling Porn Addiction as a Couple (Video)
    Age 21 – Sex with girlfriend may have slowed reboot (ED)

    Check out this FAQ page for any questions you might have, and more.

    Rebooting/Porn Use FAQs

    I'll summarize what the above articles say in a way that's easy for me to understand.

    Basically, through lots of PMO and other biological factors, the neurons in the sexual reward center of your brain have made connections between...

    • arousal from porn, objects, and situations
    • genital and sensual stimulation, primarily from yourself
    • climax, orgasm, and reproductive opportunity

    These connections are what your brain identifies as "sexual pleasure", which it connects with orgasm and reproduction, making you crave it more than pretty much anything. Your brain has pretty much "forgotten" real humans and sexual stimulation from them.

    A reboot is meant to starve the neurons in your brain connecting porn with arousal and pleasure. If any neuron never senses its connections, it will eventually die.

    When all of the connections in a neuron are sensed, especially when repeated and for long periods of time, the connections are made much stronger and more intense, making the neurons harder to get rid of. However, if only one connection is sensed, it does not produce as great of a reaction, but activates the neuron enough to keep it "refreshed". It does not make the neuron stronger, but it does not help it die either. Therefore, even if not firing on all connections, a neuron that is refreshed sporadically takes significantly longer to die than one that is completely ignored.

    While sex is definitely the end goal of a reboot, doing it during the reboot still activates the genital stimulation connection in the porn wired neurons; it does not activate the porn connection, but still refreshes the entire porn-wired neuron. Eventually, if you never watch porn and keep having sex, your brain will forget about porn and find great pleasure in sex. However, since the sex "refreshes" the porn neurons, this process will take much longer than a 90 day hardmode reboot. I can't quite remember, but I feel like I remember users who had sex during their reboots say that it took them easily more than a year to recover full sexual function and pleasure. In contrast, those who do a hardmode reboot for 3 months and then begin having sex report that only 1 month after the reboot is needed to regain full sexual function. I did the 90 day reboot, and then it only took me 1.5 months of steady sex to have full erections and orgasms.

    So it's up to you. If your porn habits and PIED are affecting your sex life, then you won't be missing much by going 90 days without bad sex, in exchange for good sex for indefinite periods of time. If your symptoms and compulsions are mild, then just laying off the porn will do fine.

    PS

    It's very good that you have a partner for the reboot though. Kissing, cuddling, and sleeping with a partner does not activate neurons in the sexual reward center (aka porn-wired neurons), but it does activate neurons in the social and intimacy areas of the brain. After a well-done reboot, your sexual reward center is empty and doesn't know what to be aroused/stimulated by. However, if you do the above actions and more with your partner during the reboot, the social and intimate areas of the brain communicate with the sexual reward center that your partner is good and makes you happy, which helps increase arousal and erection quality. Sexually pleasing your partner (with manual and oral) during a reboot is also good because...
    • you should want your partner to be happy lol
    • it widens the possibilities for sex and pleasure, which makes you think less about penetration and your erections, easing performance and sexual anxiety
      • not thinking about your dick and penetration during sex has also been shown to increase arousal, increase erection quality, and decrease time to orgasm
    • you learn how to pleasure your partner better, which...
      • helps you be a better partner
      • encourages you to get aroused by your partner's pleasure, a sign of a great sexual relationship, and an easy way to get/stay aroused
    • it helps you rewire to your partner's body. Many who do reboots can find a partner's naked body unarousing and even repulsive at first (note: the sex centers of the brain are blank and don't know naked people are attractive), but if you've been eating up your partner for 3 months this effect will be negligible
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2019 at 1:50 PM
    ewerson18 likes this.
  9. ppr_kuttt

    ppr_kuttt Fapstronaut

    Hey yo, thanks a lot for your reply. I just bought Your Brain on Porn book and I'll start to read it now.
    I have two other questions:

    - My boyfriend love being sexually pleased with oral sex (both D and A). We've talked and I do not intent to penetrate him nor touch my D. So it's ok this way, right?

    - If he wants to give me a BJ, then things will be a bit complicated, right? Because it's about learning new forms of pleasure.

    Thanks again, buddy =)
     
  10. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    So basically anything that stimulates your penis will refresh the neurons wired to porn in your brain. We want to avoid this; not refreshing the neurons will allow them to die, and later be replaced by neurons associated with positive sexual activity.

    For the most effective and quickest reboot, avoid any activity that stimulates your genitals or other erogenous zones (taint, anus, nipples, etc.), and do not seek arousal from anything besides your boyfriend.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  11. Onliner

    Onliner New Fapstronaut

    1
    7
    3
    Great write up. Been struggling with PMO for quite some time now. I've had sex a couple times, but as expected, it has never set me off as much as masturbation and porn use. I've had to give up on sex with a number of girls - it was kinda hard to get anything done with a largely flaccid junk. I guess I'll have to forget the whole prospect of sex (for now) and let my brain go blank as far as sexual pleasure is concerned. I really long for those 100% erections with a girl.

    Nothing is as demoralizing as having a girl surrender herself to you but and you can do nothing.
     
  12. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Absolutely agree. Don't know if I'd go with "surrender herself" aha, but when you've got a woman in bed and it just doesn't get up, it fucking sucks.

    Trust me, giving up on mild-crappy sex for 90 days is totally worth the sex afterwards.

    This story seems kinda counterintuitive, but during my first reboot, I got a website blocker and set it up to block typical porn sites I used, as well as any keywords. Of course, I set the override password, but I made the password "remember *****", with the ***** being the name of the last girl I tried to have sex with. I emphasize tried because once we were naked, I literally couldn't get any sort of erection, and she cried and made me leave because she didn't think I thought she was pretty since I had no boner :( .

    Instead of ignoring this event and trying to move past it, I kinda used it as fuel; whenever I got urges, I remember her crying and I how shitty I felt. I never want to make myself or anyone else feel that way again, and that thought keeps me from PMOing. The way her and I felt that night is much worse than any urge, compulsion, or doubt I had during the reboot. Anytime I got the urge to enter the password and go porn surfing, I thought of her crying, which immediately sets me back up straight. I never had sex before my reboot, so I didn't have a baseline for how sex is supposed to fell.

    If you have had good sex beforehand, understand that until you finish your reboot, you're not gonna get that feeling back. You can do whatever you want with your life, but sex and a relationship is way fucking better than anything PMO, and it's necessary to do the reboot to get it back.

    I encourage you to check out YBOP for better guides, data, and testimonials from others before, during, and after their reboots/rewiring

    Rebooting/Porn Use FAQs – Your Brain On Pornhttps://www.yourbrainonporn.com › rebooting-porn-use-faqs

    Evolution has not prepared your brain for today’s porn

    rebooting basics page
     

Share This Page