This is what YBOP recommends avoiding during a reboot. But does it need to be forever?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Advice from YBOP

    My advice is to avoid actively seeking all artificial sexual stimuli during your reboot. If it’s not a real person, just say no.

    As odd as this may sound, there’s no such thing as porn. The brain knows exactly what alcohol or heroin is, but the reward circuitry has no way of recognizing porn. Instead, higher portions of the brain relay nerve impulses associated with sights, sounds, smells, and memories to the reward circuit. The strength of these very complex signals determines the excitement levels measured by your reward circuit. What really matters are spikes of reward circuit dopamine (and other neurochemicals), not what’s on the screen.

    The key questions: Is your behavior reactivating sensitized addiction pathways, and are you overstimulating your already numbed dopamine system?

    This is what YBOP recommends avoiding during a reboot

    1. “Porn” – All types. If you need to ask, then the answer is, ‘bad move.’ It’s simple: artificial vs real.

    2. Avoid behaviors that mimic YOUR porn addiction. Which usually means behaviors that substitute the synthetic and the two-dimensional for the real deal.

    3. Eliminating artificial or synthetic means don’t engage in “cam to cam” or chat rooms.

    4. Surfing social media, YouTube, or dating sites for pictures and sexual stimuli is like an alcoholic switching to lite beer.

    5. Fantasizing about porn is nearly the same as watching it, as you are activating your brain’s addiction-related pathways.

    6. Reading “erotic” stories counts as porn fantasy

    7. “What about fantasizing about real women?” It’s hard to say. If you are simply replaying porn scenarios, then absolutely not. Read below about fantasy.


    I understand you should avoid all this stuff during your reboot. But is it supposed to be a life long thing? Can you never use social media or a dating site again?

    I understand that's it's not so much the content on these sites that is the problem. But it is how you search and look at these images that is the problem. For instance if you come across attractive images and just look at them for a second and then turn them off then this isn't a problem. But if you keep searching more of them and looking at them this is a problem. If you deliberately search and look at any of these sort of images then this is the dopamine rising motivating you to search and look at them. This is what is causing damage in your reward circuit. It is keeping your brain wired to all this stuff. It is activating the porn pathways in your brain.

    But recently I have wanted to go back on a dating site to try and meet someone. But the problem is you naturally are searching and looking at images, profiles to find women, and your deliberately searching for women your attracted to and like the look of. So this basically is what YBOP is telling you to avoid. But like I say does this need to be avoided forever? Can you never use a dating site again?

    Also with social media. Many men would randomly see images of attractive women and be curious and might have a look at their images. But unfortunately this seems to be a big problem? Do you need to avoid social media forever?


    I have a lot of stuff blocked on my computer, and I don't have a smart phone. Recently a woman wanted me to add her on snap chat, but I couldn't because I don't have a smart phone, and I wouldn't of wanted to go on snapcaht with her anyway as that is basically a relapse. She also wanted to go on skype on camera with me and I couldn't do that either. The problem with this is women and a lot of people could think I am a weirdo. They won't understand why I am doing what I am doing. The worry is it's pushing real life women away from me. I think that woman is less interested in me now.
     
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  2. HugoBoss

    HugoBoss Fapstronaut

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    It means that you can't be on social media, you can't be on Youtube, you can't use Netflix or watch TV because there are things there that might trigger you, you can't play computer games, you can't go to the cinema (because of the same reasons) ...
    Seriously man?
    Listen, I don't want to be rude and I don't have any intention to offend anyone here but you must be an idiot in order to believe to this crap.
    I can't believe how the people here are getting brainwashed so easily.. wtf
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2019
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  3. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    No ones saying you need give up anything. What they're saying is you should give up things that activate the porn pathways in your brain.

    I still use youtube, watch tv, watch movies. As I feel like I am not activating the porn pathways when I do these things. I am not deliberately searching anything when I am on these things that activate the porn pathways in my brain. However on social media for instance I do believe I would be triggered looking at things that would activate the porn pathways in my brain, which would continue me to search more of these things that are activating the porn pathways in my brain.

    I understand all this sounds a bit extreme. But all this information isn't on YBOP because it is some made up fairy tale. It is reality.

    This is the advice to guys that are trying to heal from brain changes and sexual conditioning caused by years of PMOing. Continuing to deliberately use things that activate the porn pathways in your brain is a crazy thing to do when you're rebooting.

    It really depends. If you can use these things and you know your not activating the porn pathways in your brain while you're rebooting then fine. You'll know when you're activating the porn pathways. Things like getting a strong urge to search something that sexually excites you, then searching it, and then searching more of it. This is the porn pathways in the brain being activated.

    But maybe your not desensitised at all and don't have any brain changes and sexual conditioning caused by years of PMOing and artificial sexual stimuli. Many men have been casual users for years and it's never created a big problem. Where as other guys haven't been able to take it or leave it, and have binged on it for years, deeply sexually conditioning them selves to it.

    I have friends who think all this stuff is crazy. But the reality is it is 100% true. All these brain changes and sexual conditioning has happened to so many guys around the world. The best thing these guys can do is stop activating the porn pathways in their brains, so they can heal from it, so their brain can change, change back to it's original factory settings.

    It's all deep sexual conditioning.
     
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  4. HugoBoss

    HugoBoss Fapstronaut

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    What is so triggering about Facebook & Instagram??
    Watching TV or using Youtube are even worse because they have ads there and recommendations that are not under your control.
    Comeon dude, you're getting triggered to masturbate and losing your mind over an image of a 20 year old girl on Instagram but sex scenes in movies and half naked girls on Youtube? Nope, I'm cool with that.. It makes no sense.
    And stop treating YBOP like it's the bible or something like that because it's not.
     
  5. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    I have restricted mode permanently locked on youtube using a blocker I use. I don't really get triggered by movies on tv. Social media however I do get triggered.

    This all really depends on the person, and where you're in your journey. For instance someone who is actually having real sex probably won't get much negative effects from occasionally searching and looking at artificial sexual stimulation, as their brain probably has already weakened to that stuff, and has strengthened towards real contact with women. However if your a guy who has little or no sexual experience and your brain is heavily wired to artificial sexual stimulation, then for guys like this activating the porn pathways should completely be avoided at all costs.

    The thing is the act of searching and looking at hot images of women on social media is practically the same act as searching and looking at what is categorised as porn content. It's dopamine rising motivating you to search it. Then when you find the images more dopamine rises, and when you search more images more dopamine rises. This constant searching keeps dopamine rising more and more. This couldn't be done on anywhere near the same level before high speed internet, and it is why there was next to no problems before high speed internet.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
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  6. HugoBoss

    HugoBoss Fapstronaut

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    Again, how different it is from seeing a hot girl in a tv show or on Youtube? you get the same effect.
     
  7. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I don't claim to speak for him, but I could imagine it could be different because of the habits attached to the specific medium. For example, I actively searched for softcore porn, sexy music videos, etc. on Youtube in the past, but I never used movies in order to get aroused, altough they contain sexual content. These different habits could be a reason, why I potentially react differently to sexual content on Youtube, than to sexual content in movies.

    That's just an idea I had. There could be something to it, but it could very well be bullshit as well. Thoughts?
     
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  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yes that's 100% correct. It's all to do with sexual conditioning and wiring.

    It's like pavlov's dog. Pavlov rang a bell before feeding his dog. When he rang the bell the dogs mouth salivated. But he began ringing the bell and not feeding the dog afterwards, and the dogs mouth still salivated. This dogs brain was wired to thinking when it heard this bell it was getting food.

    It's the same with sexual cues. In fact sexual cues are even deeper conditioning in the brain.

    A lot of guys brains are only sexually conditioned to porn and artificial sexual stimulation. The only way to weaken those connections in the brain is stop activating those pathways. After a while those pathways will weaken and become more strengthened towards real life. This is when you want to get with real women to rewire.
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019
  9. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    The difference is on youtube and insta you have to seek the girl. In a movie you arent searching for it and you dont get the seek anticipation rush that you do when looking at PMO.
    In the past id get extreme heart rate and excitement just from searching my favourite star or scene on youtube without actually seeing any images or pictures. Just the links were enough.
    However in netflix shows i can sit through sexual scenes like in power with absolutely no arousal at all.

    Basically just dont fucking do what ur addiction is telling you to do. Stay away from artifical sexual stuff that activates the same porn pathways. If it seems too good to be true it is. Hit the gym or go biking instead.
     
  10. Niquel Angel

    Niquel Angel Fapstronaut

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    I havent readvthe full thread but I'm gonna replay to this.

    Its normal that woman may be pushed away by the things you are doing to recover from your addiction, I think It happens to many people here (including me), but i think Its worth It for a more healthy sex life and life in general.

    I dont fully agree with what YBOP says, It tells you to avoid anything that mímics your porn addiction, but I think Its more important to avoid computer/phone activities that trigger your dopamine response vía addicting behaviour.
    Right now you are addicted to watching erotic videos in a screen and masturbating. If you start watching things on a screen that give you dopamine on a regular basis you are activating very similar neural pathways to the porn addiction, basically you are feeding the porn addiction and making it stay with you longer.

    For example, if you stop watching porn and start watching nonporn youtube vídeos in a similar fashion, you are just substituting one addiction with another, and thats gonna make It Really easy to leave those YouTube vídeos and start using porn again. What you have to do to fully recover from the addiction is leave behind any kind of computer related addictive behaviour until you dont even miss porn, so if you start browsing addictively 9gag for example in the futurey, your brain wont relate that to porn, and you Will just get a new addiction, instead of Keeping the previous one Alive.

    Edit: I think there's nothing wrong with using computer in a healthy, non addictive way.

    Also be careful with virtual sex and sharing pics and videos, thats what got me back to porn after months without using It...
     
  11. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    i would agree with all of this advise- I have found that not getting rid of fantasizing has caused some porn induced habits to linger and come back for me even after 90 day reboots -

    But here is some advice..this is like someone overweight just thinking about all the things they have give up .. that's a 24/7 exercise in will power you're bound to lose.. instead of thinking about what you're giving up, why not think about what you're going to gain?

    if you find:
    a. healthy non addictive ways to relieve tension
    b. healthy mental ways to deal with anxeity ( much addicitive behavior pops up here)
    c. productive, relaxing hobbies that actually help improve your life...

    then you won't find yourself craving or missing these things..


    Yes! excellent advice..

    to the OP - read up on the addictive damaging nature of social media - take a break and learn how to bring it back into your life in a productive healthy way, and take occasional breaks so it doesn't become a habit.
     
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  12. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    While I have not done it, avoiding social media is probably a good idea. Anyone who thinks youtube, twitter, or FB do not have images which can trigger an addict to revert his old habits is mistaken. Use social media with caution.
     
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  13. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    yes and this relates so something else I have pointed out elsewhere.
    I am over 50 when i was in college - even on a large campus with literally 5000+ 18-22 year old women i rarely saw a woman with form fitting and form emphasizing clothing like yoga pants - maybe a dance major slipping from one studio to the next - every six months.. jeans didn't even emphasize a womans sexual parts like i see literally 10x a day now in a big city....
    then there's advertisements and videos and 'entertainment' - and even non sexual stimulation and incitements that will overclock you...
    the point is you are constantly getting triggered unless you actively try practice mindfulness and focus.
     
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  14. mcp8419

    mcp8419 Fapstronaut

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    Limit technology in general.

    Spend more time making plans and socialising with real people.
     
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  15. YogiBlues

    YogiBlues Fapstronaut

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    After spending sufficient time without PMO the brain changes and how the mind reacts to various stimuli changes. That’s neuroplasticity. Hard to visualize or imagine that state without first putting in the time (in response to ‘do I have to quit YouTube/social media forever?’). Until then, take ybop recommendations as the gospel truth. Besides, I think life without social media is quite possible- many generations lived far more productive lives without this stuff!
     
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  16. Believe85

    Believe85 Fapstronaut

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    Appreciate the tips. It is Good Friday and I am exhausted and started to watch videos of video games featuring attractive video women.

    Stop!

    Fortunately I did.

    Was it porn? Depends on your definition.

    Was it mildly arousing? Yes.

    Could it have escalated? Yes.

    Glad it didn’t for a change.
     
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  17. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    You said it. And girls are now taking very revealing photos at younger and younger ages and posting them for all to see. I am not saying they shouldn't do it, it's their choice, and we are never going back to those days you refer to - I am over 50 too, so I know exactly what you mean. Mindfulness & focus are needed 24/7!
     
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  18. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    This is important.

    If we believe, we could leave porn behind by avoiding triggers forever, we're mistaken. They are literally everywhere and unavoidable. We will get triggered eventually, it's only a matter of time. If we want to gain full control over our addiction, we have to change our believes about porn. We have to admit to ourselves, what we like about porn, what brings us back to it, what purpose it has, what position it holds in our life. Once we figure that out, we have to deconstruct the arguments and make it clear to ourselves, that they're based on illusions. We have to make ourselves realize, that porn has nothing to offer for us. Once we understand that completely, we have full control over our addiction and therefore, we're able to react very calmly to any potential trigger.

    One might say "But I know, that porn is bad!" or "I hate porn!", but the truth is: If you relapse constantly, you don't. There is a part in you, that still likes porn and thinks it has something you need. It's your job to find out, what that "something" is and to realize it's not true. This takes time and deep self-reflection, but once you figure it out, everything becomes easy. Unfortunately, this is something, which can't be taught. Everyone has to find the answer himself or herself.
     
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  19. Ogikubo

    Ogikubo Fapstronaut

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    So true! Who can't list a thousand reasons why porn is bad & wrong & harmful, and yet still has to admit it that it gets him hot! Your post is very insightful. Cheers.
     
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  20. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, I still haven't figured everything out yet myself. Changing a life-long believe system is a long & difficult task. Constant self-reflection and deep thinking is needed. I find it very helpful to write down my thoughts, whenever I feel an urge. By doing this, it becomes easier to unravel our believes about porn and finally change them. Once we bring our different believes about porn into harmony, our journey becomes easy. It's not a constant battle anymore.
     
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