This is my very first post reaching out to total strangers that I don't know!!! I have became so overwhelmed in recent past, I am single white female 34 years of age and still not married or have any children except my little dog!! I have struggled with an addiction to internet pornography for several years now, first starting off in my preteen years with dirty magazines my birth father would intentionally leave around for me to look at! Not to mention at how sick in the head he is leaving that around for his young child to look at! AND A SEVERE ALCOHOLIC HE WAS AND STILL IS!!!! Not only I suffered severe child sexual abuse at just the age of 2 yrs old by an uncle (his brother) also abused two or 3 of my cousins but at the hand of him my birth father abused my older brother and sister at a young age!! After all that happened at my very young age 2, my mother n father got divorced and my mom got remarried when I was 8 to yet another abusive guy, so so many awful bad memories growing up I used to cry all the time frequently asking God why did that happen to me and to release me of carrying that hurt all those years!! About 3 years ago He did just that, found out that the uncle that had tooken my innocence away that young, died!! I no longer cry like I used too!! God has helped me to overcome that abuse and with years and years of psychotherapy, and He has blessed me abundantly with a handful of sweet special friends He gave me. But, somehow at 34 I'm still struggling with internet pornography and wrestling with God to completely change and heal my heart and get rid of such sin!! The pic of the book I uploaded, I read it and it helped me so much more and would highly recommend for someone who was abused as well!! Rid of my Disgrace: By Justin S. Holcomb & Lindsey A. Holcomb Hope and healing for the victims of Sexual Assault ©2011 I would like to point out a few of the sayings written in the first few pages: (However I did change it a little bit to fit me and my story! ) God Sees, knows, heals, restores, and redeems. This is the message of hope. This book offers to all who have suffered from abuse, as well as those who minister to them. This book reminds victims of Sexual Assault that they are not alone. From King David's daughter Tamar to the courageous survivors telling their stories today. This book calls readers to let even such a painful hideous act be apart of their stories of redemption through Christ's sufficient work on the cross. I thought that I had gotten over the abuses in my past after reading this book I realized that there were still underlying issues I hadn't dealt with and that was preventing me from getting close to anyone, severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder and a few addictions to go along with it. Expecially after the death of my mother who was a severe type 2 diabetic!! And she lost her battle at 57 yrs old!! I am the baby of my siblings and been battling type 2 diabetes for almost 15 years myself!! I do try n take care of myself. And worst of all it was preventing me from having a deeper relationship with God. Each chapter not only discussed each emotion that had been secretly been weighing me down only a very few close friends, counselor and a few of my Drs know what happened to me growing up and only a few of those people know of my addiction to pornography! But it also showed me that those emotions don't have to rule me. Jesus' death and resurrection apply not only to my sins, but also to the burden of someone else's sin against me. My identity is no longer as 'damaged goods'. It is as a 'child of God and with that comes God's unending love. No matter how deep the pain or sense of loss endured by the victims of Sexual Assault, God's healing grace and power are greater still. If you've been the victim of abuse, you won't find yourself blamed in this book. You'll find yourself embraced by the love of a God who meets you in your pain. If anyone has any thoughts please comment but please if you do be nice!! Thank you!!