This post was updated on 12/1/2019 : Feeling Overwhelmed in South Georgia

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Karlie34, Nov 30, 2019.

  1. Karlie34

    Karlie34 New Fapstronaut

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    This is my very first post reaching out to total strangers that I don't know!!!

    I have became so overwhelmed in recent past, I am single white female 34 years of age and still not married or have any children except my little dog!!
    I have struggled with an addiction to internet pornography for several years now, first starting off in my preteen years with dirty magazines my birth father would intentionally leave around for me to look at! Not to mention at how sick in the head he is leaving that around for his young child to look at! AND A SEVERE ALCOHOLIC HE WAS AND STILL IS!!!!

    Not only I suffered severe child sexual abuse at just the age of 2 yrs old by an uncle (his brother) also abused two or 3 of my cousins but at the hand of him my birth father abused my older brother and sister at a young age!! After all that happened at my very young age 2, my mother n father got divorced and my mom got remarried when I was 8 to yet another abusive guy, so so many awful bad memories growing up I used to cry all the time frequently asking God why did that happen to me and to release me of carrying that hurt all those years!!

    About 3 years ago He did just that, found out that the uncle that had tooken my innocence away that young, died!! I no longer cry like I used too!!

    God has helped me to overcome that abuse and with years and years of psychotherapy, and He has blessed me abundantly with a handful of sweet special friends He gave me.

    But, somehow at 34 I'm still struggling with internet pornography and wrestling with God to completely change and heal my heart and get rid of such sin!!

    The pic of the book I uploaded, I read it and it helped me so much more and would highly recommend for someone who was abused as well!!

    Rid of my Disgrace: By Justin S. Holcomb & Lindsey A. Holcomb

    Hope and healing for the victims of Sexual Assault
    ©2011

    I would like to point out a few of the sayings written in the first few pages: (However I did change it a little bit to fit me and my story! )

    God Sees, knows, heals, restores, and redeems. This is the message of hope.
    This book offers to all who have suffered from abuse, as well as those who minister to them. This book reminds victims of Sexual Assault that they are not alone.
    From King David's daughter Tamar to the courageous survivors telling their stories today. This book calls readers to let even such a painful hideous act be apart of their stories of redemption through Christ's sufficient work on the cross.
    I thought that I had gotten over the abuses in my past after reading this book I realized that there were still underlying issues I hadn't dealt with and that was preventing me from getting close to anyone, severe depression and post traumatic stress disorder and a few addictions to go along with it. Expecially after the death of my mother who was a severe type 2 diabetic!! And she lost her battle at 57 yrs old!! I am the baby of my siblings and been battling type 2 diabetes for almost 15 years myself!! I do try n take care of myself.
    And worst of all it was preventing me from having a deeper relationship with God. Each chapter not only discussed each emotion that had been secretly been weighing me down only a very few close friends, counselor and a few of my Drs know what happened to me growing up and only a few of those people know of my addiction to pornography! But it also showed me that those emotions don't have to rule me.
    Jesus' death and resurrection apply not only to my sins, but also to the burden of someone else's sin against me.
    My identity is no longer as 'damaged goods'. It is as a 'child of God and with that comes God's unending love.

    No matter how deep the pain or sense of loss endured by the victims of Sexual Assault, God's healing grace and power are greater still. If you've been the victim of abuse, you won't find yourself blamed in this book. You'll find yourself embraced by the love of a God who meets you in your pain.


    If anyone has any thoughts please comment but please if you do be nice!! Thank you!!
     

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    Last edited: Dec 2, 2019 at 10:10 AM
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  3. D R

    D R Fapstronaut

    Try and not feel so overwhelmed. This subject can be stressful enough as it is. Its FANTASTIC that you are here, reaching for help. You've come to a good place. I am new here as well, even though I discovered the site a few years ago. I was always too embarrassed to join and write my story. Felt as though, "I dont need that yet, I can do it on my own." I was wrong. This condition grips us all, and it is evil, in my opinion. Satan has surely had a hand in creating this monstrosity called internet porn. So sorry to hear of your troubles in life, but thankful you are working thru them.

    Have you looked into the women's section here? That is my guess as to where you'll find the most help.

    Good luck!
     
    Karlie34 likes this.
  4. Kingfisher

    Kingfisher Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to this community!
     
  5. simpleman11

    simpleman11 New Fapstronaut

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    I read your story and wanted to tell you to take heart and know that God loves you. I too am a Christian and understand the shame from these types of issues and the pain we cause ourselves from our struggles. But it's great you have kept your faith and desire of wanting to change.

    I appreciate you sharing your story and that book that helped you to recover from your trauma. I know of a Christian girl who suffered from sexual abuse as a child from a family member too, and continues to have many struggles and depression even many years after the events happened. I will recommend the book to her. And I hope you telling your story can help others who experienced similar things too.
     
    Karlie34 and ANewFocus like this.

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