This stuff is the worst

I'm convinced that this Sissy Hypno stuff is the worst thing that anyone could come across on the internet. It's the bottom of the rabbit hole that anyone, well mostly males, I guess, could fall down after clicking on whatever link gets people down there.

There are some gender and sexuality issues around it, as there are around any kind of porn. People who are actually trans, or people who are straight, could still fall into this and be harmed by it, in my opinion, as the damage is crosscutting.

The reasons that this is so difficult begins with the actual nature of it. Rapid paced visuals, auditory stimulation, and a seemingly infinite source of content make it easy to blow up someones dopamine receptors in any way. The fact that it can be consumed with pure audio adds anothe rnovelty, and another way that people can get their fix that is mindblowing. There are all sorts of crazy technologies that people are making like video games, and auto-scrolling websites, and repositories of audio files that open up a whole new world, The complexity and the diversity of offerings of all the things in this space make it really easy for someone to say "hey this is new, let me poke around here for a little bit" just to get familiar with the content.

The content itself is extra dangerous. I'm not going to try and write it here, because I'm not trying to relapse right now. I'll just say that it attempts to convince and persuade in a way that regular porn just sort of stays on the screen. Bargaining and demanding the user to comply consciously and subconsciously is again something people haven't heard of and also something that makes it really hard to get out of. While I could just turn off some of the vanilla stuff, I'll have this SP floating around in my head, and these negotiations keep taking up time while pulling me back towards it as if I was on the edge of a whirl pool.

If you're here, you're earning a medal. You're tackling the worst shit there is. If you weren't going to win, you'd already have given up, lord knows there's enough of it out there to swallow you and 3 other people. But if you're here, then it means you're on your way out, and you'll get out because the fantasy is shattering. You'll still need to climb out of the pit, swim out of the whirl pool, and starve those voices in your head, through a journey of shameful silence. Silent until you got here. You're quitting because you have to, you know it's terrible, that's why you're here. It'll take a while, because this shit is the apex of what online porn is capable of. I'll be proud of you when you make it out, even though right now I'm on the way out with you.

 

Your still here fighting though. If you can get past this, you can get past anything!

 

I'm certainly doing better than I ever have. I've been trying to stop for a solid 5 years, but the last few months have been the most dramatic. I think it became impossible to hide my dependence on it during the pandemic when I'd find myself sneaking away from my family whenever I got the chance, and also requiring these like crazy long sessions to even get finished, and PIED. I've been trying to stop since, and I think I'm having success now because work stress has become more manageable. I think I'm starting to see that it wasn't just an occasional thrill, but something that was slowly eating up all these different parts of my life, and warping my views of myself, feminity, and all the women in my life. I feel like I've gotten a good hold on it, the backslides come when I'm tired, but I still have these triggers and cravings that I hope to flush out over the detox period.