Thought On Approaching Women

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Deleted Account, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. A thought came to me about how to approach women. Think of what it would be like from their perspective to have you approach them. See yourself through their eyes. What would you want to look like to them? Would you want to look like an avoidant, passive, self-conscious weakling, or would you want to look like a strong, confident, charming man? What do you think they would like to see from you? That is the point, isn't it? For them to like you? So put yourself in their shoes. Empathize with them, I guess is the word. Instead of being stuck in your own perspective, instead of making it all about you and what you're thinking, what you're saying, what you're doing. Think about what they want to see, and rise to the occasion. Make yourself attractive to them. I don't know, just a mental trick that I might try. The thinking is it might help to see yourself acting from another person's perspective, rather than merely your own, and maybe that changes how you act.
    Deleted Account and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    That's good to some degree, but some people might take this the wrong way and start performing in a way that they think other people would like them for rather than actually showing them who they are as a person. They might start trying to convince them to be interested rather than actually trying to find someone who is interested.

    My opinion... think more like a sales person. You are the product. Believe in the value that you offer. Believe that the interruption to their day that you're causing is worth it because you believe you have a product that could be valuable to them. The greatest sales people in the world also gets rejected more than any other. They believe in what they're selling, but they also know the reality that not everyone will be interested. Yet, they're selling hard to a lot of people. The goal is to find someone that's excited to receive what you have (your product... which is you) and is excited to give you what you want (their money and their customer loyalty in this sales example).

    What I do like about your strategy is that you're getting out of your own head and thinking more of sharing rather than taking. People who are focused on taking are the ones that become very outcome attached and afraid that they won't get the outcome that they want to take. People who are focused on sharing and giving are less dependent on any outcome.
    Marik757 and Deleted Account like this.
  3. Has it been tested in practice, Furry?
  4. Haha no, not yet, thought just came to me yesterday. But I'll have opportunities to try it out soon
    Seawolfee likes this.
  5. I've been thinking about why being able to approach women isn't second nature to me. Thinking back to how I was raised by my parents. When I was in kindergarten, I would often cry at school, until my mom came to pick me up and take me home. I learned from her that being weak would be rewarded by women. She should have put her foot down and not enabled me. I may have unconsciously exhibited this belief my whole life, "maybe if I'm passive and avoidant, girls will come after me, they'll feel sorry for me and want to take care of me" is the unconscious thinking. That's been my Game. And, it hasn't worked! Then there is my dad, who I don't have a single memory of him saying or doing anything sexual whatsoever, totally asexual. You know, I would expect a dad to maybe make a sexual comment about some hot babe on TV or out in public or something once in a while when my mother is gone, but never heard anything like that from my dad. Never saw mom or dad do more than just a quick kiss on the lips. So I learned from my dad that I don't have to do anything to sexually attract a woman in order for her to be with me, the only thing that's needed is paying the bills. I'm not saying I'm mad at them or anything, just trying to figure out why I am the way I am
    GigglingTrout likes this.
  6. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    If I was a woman I would like to see regular me being taking away by the police.
  7. Why?
  8. Anubis Rises

    Anubis Rises Fapstronaut

    My Journal
    i see your very determined to conquer such quests , i salute , i give tip, offer to pay her cell bill , that should do the trick
  9. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    I look weird and my behavior is equally weird.
  10. Marik757

    Marik757 Fapstronaut


    I had the same thought awhile back and completely forgot about it until now ha. I watched this video and it pretty much made things more understandable on the topic.
    GigglingTrout likes this.

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