Thoughts After 30 Days

I've just gone through my first month free of PMO in years. This is the first time it's happened ever since I got addicted. I've only spent 4 months on NoFap and I'm amazed at how quickly I got here. Here are some of my thoughts at this point:

Firstly, my mindset about NoFap has changed. Earlier, when I felt successful in my NoFap journey, it was because of the length of time I hadn't done it. I would think, "Yes, I've made it past three weeks!" or "I've controlled myself for 2 weeks!". But the length of the streak is not the most important thing. That may seem ironic, because I started this post with "I've gone one month...", but what I'm actually focusing on is how my mind has changed during this one month. Focus on the things that have changed during the time without PMO, more than the time itself. Now I'm thinking things like "Wow, my mind feels clear of dirty thoughts" and "I don't feel the need for PMO" instead. Think less about how long you've spent without PMO, and think more of how far you have gotten from PMO.

I'm talking about PMO as if it's a person here. You could spend a few weeks without it, sorely missing it, thinking about it all the time, and run back into its arms. (if that's where you are now, don't worry. you should still persevere on, your mind will feel different if you keep trying.) Or you could spend those few weeks without it, not thinking about it or wanting to go back to it. You'd have spent the same amount of time without it, but your mind could be in very different places - consumed by thoughts of PMO, or free of those thoughts. You could have even more time away and still miss PMO. But what matters is getting further from it, not spending longer without it.

Here's a random analogy I thought of, depicting PMO as a person you aim to get away from:

Stage 1: PMO is a roommate. It's always present near you. It can talk to you at any time. (at this point, you PMO every 1-3 days. thoughts about it are frequently present in your head) [I was at this stage before joining NoFap]

Stage 2: PMO is a neighbour. It still lives near you, but isn't right there in your room to talk to you. You frequently meet, but you think about it less. (at this point, you could have streaks of a week or so, still may do it fairly often but starting to get away from PMO.) [I was at this stage in my first month of NoFap]

Stage 3: PMO lives in the same town. Not like a neighbour who you'd meet randomly while watering the plants {as in, the thoughts can't come in anytime while doing everyday stuff}, but you'd still bump into it once in a while. You think about it even less, and you meet less frequently. (at this point, you may get to streaks of 2-3 weeks. or more. sometimes the thoughts consume you and you relapse, metaphorically meeting PMO. but the fact that it has to consume you shows that your will has grown, and it isn't a random easy thing that could normally happen.) [I was at this stage during my second and third months of NoFap]

Stage 4: You're driving out of town. Getting away from it. You won't meet it walking on the streets now, because you've left it behind in that town. The only way you'll meet it is by turning around and driving back to visit. And that will only happen if you dwell in the thought about how you miss it. (which means, it's much harder for you to relapse now. you have to consciously turn around, it isn't something that could randomly happen with a slip of your mind. it has become more natural for you to reject PMO than to give in to it, because to reject PMO is to keep driving ahead, and to give in you have to make a u-turn. when you're at this stage, you may have had your last fap. it is very possible that you can keep going and quit PMO from this stage. so don't be complacent, seriously take this stage to fill your life with worthwhile things, distancing yourself from PMO.) [I'm at this stage right now, in my fourth month!]

Stage 5: You've found a new town. This is where we all aim to be. If you don't turn back in stage 4, you will drive all the way to somewhere new. You have distanced yourself from PMO and now it's gone from your life. At this point, you don't have to push yourself to stay away from PMO anymore, because you naturally stay away. You ARE away from it. You can completely focus on doing what you want, improving as a person. Your mind is in a new place, free of PMO. [I haven't gotten here, but it's where I aim to be. And I'm driving towards this place.]



So that's basically what I think about the NoFap journey at this point. That was REALLY tiring to type, so I hope it helped you. Keep going, stay strong. DRIVE ON, everyone!