Thoughts on avoiding triggers

You can do both

 

You mean like looking up porn sites and trying not to MO? Bad idea! I don't think you should take the offensive on this. Be defensive instead. If you see triggers, just ignore them. But don't go looking for them! That will reinforce your dopamine PMO highways in your brain and might very easily lead to PMO!

 

Been struggling with this myself, what I have found works best is when exposed to a trigger... have a quick look (you already are by this point) then notice what your first thought is... recognize it. Might be "oh man I want to fap" Then you really have to avoid whatever it is and do something else.. otherwise it is really easy to spiral down and start looking for more or even start doing it (fap/edge) and eventually relapse...

I try to change my thought/reactions to something more like:
"wow I would have pulled out my dick and fapped in seconds just a year ago, but now I have the knowledge.. will.. and power not to"
"that girl is beautiful, if I was single and met her in real life I surely would go talk to her"

Then go on with my day and try to think what I can do to avoid it happening again. This has gotten me past 90 days.. but I do not know if this is how I will handle it for the rest of my life or if there is a better way, I am sure it is.

I do not believe that intentionally looking at triggers will strenghten you. Wouldn't just looking at your favorite food that you haven't had in months just make you crave it alot more? It wouldn't make the craving go away, ignoring it I do believe makes more sense. But as I said I don't know, It's all in our heads really. And you can learn how to deal with the triggers when you really have to or even without being triggered by it.
Just meditate/think on it... If "A" happends what will I want to do "B" but what will I do "C" instead to reach my goal "D"?

 

This is something I would strongly recommend NOT doing. Switch the addiction of choice and maybe you will see the difference. Alcoholic says to his buddy, "Hey, I don't want to be weak when it comes to seeing triggers so I'm going to put my self in an environment which is full of them to build up my strength!" The reality is the alcoholic is an alcoholic because he does not have will power because he has changed the brains chemistry by his drinking.

Your will power has been severely disabled so willfully putting yourself in an environment of triggers thinking you will be able to come out victorious is not a good idea. It's best to stay humble. Plus triggers whether they be sounds, smells, or images can stay in your brains memory long after you've encountered them, so while you may have overcome that trigger at that moment there is no guarantee you will overcome it again when your brain recalls that trigger from your memory.

Knowing where you're weak and avoiding things which will cause you to tumble is not weakness but humility. I'm catholic and we have an entire teaching on triggers. We call them occasions of sin, and there are two types. The first is proximate. These are the ones we willfully put ourselves into. The ones where being triggered is our fault because we didn't remove or leave whatever was the source of the trigger when we had the chance. The second type is remote. These are the ones which happen through no fault of our own. Things in every day life which you had no control over. These are the ones you can fight, however, you have to keep in mind that there is one thing which keeps a remote occasion from turning into an proximate and that is your will. If you can get rid of the occasion by fighting or fleeing then do so, however, if you know you're weak and probably won't succed but decide to hit an occasion head on while knowing you will most likely lose because you're being too prideful or over confident, then you're going to mess up big time and pull a St. Peter in the courtyard and deny God 3 times regardless of how noble your intentions were for being in that courtyard. Remember Peter before falling told Christ he would never deny Him and that he would die for Him. This was prideful because Peter wasn't strong enough for that and he knew that, but he went anyway and in the end it was a maidservant who got Him to deny Christ. Not torture, not some big ass soldier, but a little maidservant. Don't underestimate small things and do not be overconfident in your abilities.

Knowing your weakness is strength!

 

It's pretty simple: (1) Avoid the avoidable triggers. If surfing Instagram is an old trigger of yours, then avoid it. (2) Learn to deal with the unavoidable triggers. This is a matter of training your brain to put some space between impulse and action. Yes, you see that triggering image, but you learn to let it pass. I have found mindfulness meditation very useful in creating this space, but there are other ways.

 

A good question. By mindfulness meditation, I mean vipassana meditation. It starts with focusing on the breath, but that is the vehicle by which you learn to focus on and be aware of every moment. I could recommend a couple of good books if you're interested.

 

Here's a good website to start with.

http://www.mindful.org/

I'd also highly recommend "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana and "Wherever You Go, There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

 

I went to the big city nearby recently downtown to clear my head. It worked really well BTW

Anyhow I saw this insanely hot girl. I thought about how I'd like to fap to her but I had no urgent drive or need to do it. It was a purely rational reaction as opposed to instict, my brain not my penis.

I was on the computer and there was this face shot of some random girl with have her face covered. For a few moments I had the urge to go.

I know this isn't exactly what the OP was asking about but I'd thought I'd share.


I wouldn't seek out triggers though. Why play with fire. Anyhow there are enough triggers in day to day life and in media.

 

I think to avoid trigger is to never give a shit about it. I have experienced that whenever I saw a half naked girl image anywhere on the internet (Triggered...!!). I look further onto it and start searching for more. At last I end up at p**n website or M. So try not to think about the trigger and try to devote your mind in some another more interesting activity. Control over "One last time" is also a good thing. e.g. One last hot image etc..!!

 

Nope. Don't do this route. Unless you have a will of iron, it leads most people to relapse. It starts off with pictures. Alright, you think, the pictures aren't so bad. I can check out some videos. Then, once the videos start and you realize you can't fap it makes you want to more. You start rationalizing - I'll just edge for a minute, not finish. That turns to you deciding to get close but not finish, to you finishing since you think you can just start over later.

Trust me, this is coming from a guy who's longest streak is only 4 days because I tried this method. It doesn't work, just makes things worse and makes you feel like crap. There's no way you can fully avoid triggers, but actively seeking them out is like a sex addict seeking out a friend to lounge around naked with just because they're going to see someone naked. It'll lead to something, and that's something you don't want.