Feeling a bit tense and turned on today, mi worries about ED keep me checking if I get horny about this or that, what happens if I touch myself etc. I feel like I have very unrealistic views about what turns me on. I feel like I don't know my own body and what activates it. Before, my body was continually stimulated by porn but now its difficult to understand and translate what my body is asking for. It used to be a hot video, but now that that type of content is gone my brain seems to be struggling to find something to replace it with. I get the same feeling when i'm with a real girl, luckily I have been having sex with a girl I knew in the summer and lost my virginity to. It's been great, but many times I've had ED. She has been understanding with the whole thing. After a few minutes of kissing , (foreplay) etc, I feel lost and completely immersed in thoughts and expectations about how I should be performing. this is very annoying. Everything seems to get back online after we talk about it and I start focusing on how she is reacting to my touch etc, but I realize that even though I like her I don't really know what turns me on. I don't know if there should be something specific that turns me on. I guess porn conditioned me to react to specific images instead of whole situations and body sensations. My guess is that I'll have to watch my body decide what it is a turn on and whats not. It's difficult to learn this new language. Next week I'm going back to the city and seeing her again. I'm worried about how things will turn out and i'm hoping everything will work fine. I'm just very annoyed that instead of being with her and enjoying her body I loose focus and start to constantly analyze how MY body is responding to hers. I don't think thats the way its supposed to work. These are some things that have helped me before when ED or performance anxiety kicks in: Talking about it and telling her her to have some patience...This relaxes me and takes tension out. Focus on her body and how she is reacting. Pay attention to how she feels, smells, tastes..This helps me focus on what i'm doing instead on how should I'd be doing it Understanding that having an erection is not the goal of the whole situation, only to have fun and enjoy each other These things sometimes help me out and relax me enough util I have an erection, after that i'm usually able to perform well. I'm afraid of what will happen next week, can't seem to stop thinking about it and that anxiety takes me closer to a relapse. What Ideas do you have about it?