Thoughts on tantric massage

Often get urges and thoughts "oh it will be amazing", "all my worries will go away etc" "it will be euphoric. In the last 4 years been to around 20 or 30 massage sessions (no sex). Only a few of them have been partly enjoyable. If i have my rational bain working before the urge these are some of the realities:
Rushing to the place to be on time
Not available at weekend
English girls not available easily
Girls photos are hyped up
1 hour sessions - 15 minutes wasted showering, undressing and paying... the parlours often charge for this time.
At the lower end of the market ( still a phenomenal 80 pounds per hour) , showers dirty, girls smoking. Rooms are not that welcoming. No foreplay or talking for that price. The girls wont give their personal details like a real girlfriend.

 

Not much skill or care in rubbing lingham - just stroking up and down - girls have never read any books or been properly trained.
Cheaper ones are no prepared to have an mutual shower or me to touch back. Never any kissing...
Dont tell me their real name or take photos
Cant take her to a beach and she wears an amazing cut out swimsuit.
Always rush and pressure to "get value for money" out of each session.

The tantric massage addiction started when i was around 20. Saw an advert in a NUTS magazine. And then tried more and more - and expensive ones

 

Following is a quote from one parlours website...

 

Our unique and outstanding goddesses are chosen meticulously. They are extremely beautiful, slim and have this special magnetism so important for every professional erotic masseuse.

They are well-trained and know every single male erogenous zone. Taboo masseuses take care about their body and soft skin every day so that you can enjoy their smooth caressing touch

 

further thoughts:

Why should I go to them??? I have to pay to travel to them, phone/text them even sometimes buying flowers for them. or have a takeaway after since I am too tired to cook. Need data to search for the websites. Often they are "too busy" and sometimes girls leave the company or dont work certain days. Its nothing like having a girlfriend which is just a walk in the park. All this running around for the so-called goddesses

 

thanks guys for your support.
Yes it can be an addictive things. Yes, when I look back, the pleasure is a mere 5 or 10 minutes. All for the hours of searching and money. Often the searching itself can cause a relapse...

Other issues:

girls on two lines - owned by same company

"Most guys who have gone this route will agree that this becomes easily another form of addictive behavior. The male brain obsesses about the "candidate escort" to act out with. People spend hours on end checking escort websites. The dopamine rush, which generates addiction, is in the "hunt". I once made a mistake of accepting an erotic massage on a business trip. Just because other co-workers also decided to do it. Big mistake, I spent years obsessing about this in all future business trips. I did not repeat this but it became another form of addiction. Instead of relapsing to porn, I would masturbate to images of "providers" in massage parlors, imagining what it would be like to repeat the behavior, and tormenting myself with this endlessly. It only took "one experience" to get my brain hijacked. I ended up confessing this to my wife as I learnt that I would never overcome this otherwise. If someone does not believe in the "moral" argument, it would be useful to consider the experience of those who have experimented with this and found it extremely unsatisfying."

 

Facebook > YouTube > porn sites > cam models > fetish porn > fetish can models > fetish escorts.

 

That the addiction is centered around getting sexual satisfaction on demand rather than porn in particular. So visiting a prostitute would just be fueling the addiction in a different way which obviously outweighs the benefits of visiting a prostitute that I had in mind. Thanks for sticking it to me like that!

 

ok a relapse report:

problems before massage:

waiting for call back and finding the premisis.
wasted 30 mins just ringing around seeing who is available
30 min detour and 1hour in the girls house...
9 calls and 2 whatsapp
climbing stair out of breath.