After roaming this forum I've seen alot of people here struggeling with the thought that they "might be gay." Let me tell you something that needs to be known. And I'm speaking from a lot of reasearch and experience. SSA (same sex attraction) is not a sexual problem, it's a gender identity problem. SSA in men is a masculine inferiority issue. This is because masculinity, unlike femininity, is an achivement. When a child is born they automaticly identify with the mother because they've basicly shared bodies for >a year. If the child is a boy he'll need to detach himself from the mother and start identifying with the father during the gender identity forming phase (around 2-3 years old) to become a man. This requires support from both the mother, the father and the culture (think about all the ancient cultures that has had religious rituals for transitioning into manhood or tests of manhood). This identification can become disrupted for several reasons as for example the mother beeing overly attached and overprotective of the boy or the father beeing hostile, cold or just perceived as weak. What does this have to do with sexual attraction? Sex is by nature complimentary. You are going to be attracted to what you find mysterious. If you are a man identifying with other men and feeling like a man, you are going to find women mysterious. If you are a man not feeling like a man but rather feeling inferior to other men and finding them mysterious, you are going to be attracted to men. This is the reason you'll hear people say "I was born gay" - because they never transitioned from the identification with the mother to the father and thus males were the mysterious ones all their life. These gender identity issues can also pop up later in life (as was the case with myself) due to different traumas such as a feelings of inferiority, body shaming etc. Pornography is a huge risk factor here. SSA is a way to "erotisize" what you admire in other men. It's a way to try to compensate for what you find lacking in yourself. SSA is also not the same thing as "gay". Gay is a sociopolitical identity: embracing and identifying with your SSA. One can experiece SSA without beeing a gay person. ______________________________________________ Now something about myself. I started experiencing SSA at the age of 17 and it took me 2 years to understand and accept what it was. I never was and never will be comfortable with the idea of a gay-lifestyle. During all those years of unwanted SSA I had to reject several women who approached me because I simply was not attracted to them. Today I am 25 years old and I finally lost my virginity to a woman last week. My attraction to women is slowly comming back, and my attraction to men is slowly diminishing, because I'm working hard on all the things I found inferior in myself. I hope this helps you understand the nature of these issues!