Three years into the journey- new chapter

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by newman_unleashed, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. Deep_Silence

    Deep_Silence Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed a couple of days back as well. Let's fight this together. The 100th day will be a good Xmas gift.
     
  2. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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  3. SomeMan2523

    SomeMan2523 Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring post man. Being strong and happy is what we are meant to be without PMO. So there's no way you don't deserve it man.

    I wish everyone just to get what's his in this life. Life without PMO and brain wash.
     
  4. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    Update.

    Been on a rough streak lately. If I am not out with friends or busy working, I PMO daily. Today I decided to do something drastic and cancelled my home internet. I deleted instagram from my phone as well. Whatever it takes. I have plenty of things to do, mainly take care of myself spiritually and physically.

    The plan is to check email once daily on my phone. I will go for coffee or to a friend's house for the other things I might need to take care of. Just have to plan it. I have no excuses now. I am obligating myself to quit. I will update here every few days when I can.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2017
    JonathanP likes this.
  5. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

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    You can certainly give it a try. But I really don't believe that running from technology is the answer.

    And here is why...... You can always give yourself a hit of dopamine just with fantasy.

    Do you still allow yourself to fantasize? While lying in bed, while driving, etc. do you allow yourself to have sexual fantasies to the point of getting an erection?

    If you do… You can't recover, since you are still giving your brain a taste of the drug....The drug being pointless sexual arousal with the sole purpose of getting a hit of dopamine.
     
    Divinekarma likes this.
  6. iceman40

    iceman40 Fapstronaut

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    Self destruction when success nears. I hear and feel what you are saying because it has happened to me many times. When I get close to success I do stupid things like drink and watch P and mess my success up. I have a business and want to start another one. Yet when I climb up the ladder of success and make small strides, I do stupid shit because deep down inside I still believe I don't deserve it.

    One thing I'm changing about my belief system is to accept a better life for myself.
     
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  7. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    Update. I just relapsed earlier today on my phone. I got a new one and did not have the safeguards programmed into it yet. The last week or so I have been turning a real corner- happier, feeling like I have things in order. I am planning for success again. I finally am out of debt and have some real savings, which is awesome. I am also getting rid of possessions and other obligations that are frankly not part of what I really want out of life. It has been tough, and at times I want to hang onto the stuff or the past, but as soon as I follow through all I have is relief.

    I am on the right path, but I have to make my real stand. Again say that I don't watch porn or fap. Just not who I am.
     
  8. badeae1

    badeae1 Fapstronaut

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    Best of luck to you. Stay clean. Keep us updated more often
     
  9. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    Just relapsed so I am back here. Not sure why I left really.
    It has been harder for me to keep clean lately. I cancelled my netflix, and am trying not to "check out" mentally/emotionally. Work is slow, so I have more time with my thoughts. I get bored. I am having problems getting motivated to do the things I know I need to do to get the life I want.
    I have been working out a lot at least.
     
    Overcome&win likes this.
  10. Overcome&win

    Overcome&win Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy! You did it well before and can do it again. You know it! Go get that freedom that you found! It is close. How is your relationship with your gf? Take care!!
     
  11. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    @Aldo91

    Thanks man. I know I can. I think what is getting me right now is that I do not have any clear life goals laid out to strive for. I am going on a vacation with some friends the next couple weeks. Being with ppl should make it easy not to fap, so I will have that going for me. I am going to take some time to think about what I am going to accomplish this year so that I have something to work for every day.
    I broke up with my gf last spring. It was for the best. She is engaged now to another guy, and I am really happy for her (not just saying that).
    Many available younger ladies where I am at (if I am willing to date someone 10-15 years younger. I know what a problem to have...) Gorgeous girls, lots of fun. I really want to get clean for 3-6 months before trying again.
     
  12. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    Made a 16 day streak. I was super busy and doing some fulfilling work. Stayed with various friends and was sleeping in a common area, so other than the shower no opportunities to fap.

    Got home Sunday evening, and did fine. Even turned back a temptation. Coming back home to the empty house and being around trigger situations (lonely, bored) caught up to me, and I fapped twice yesterday and when I woke up today. Autopilot... P-subs too. So I made some progress, but had a setback. The good news is I still remember how it felt to be clean, and I can use that. The next 48 hours will be key. I need to push through or I will lose all of the progress I have made.

    Hit the gym yesterday after a two week layoff- going back today. I started a power lifting program about a month ago. My bench is up to 215 and my deadlift to 190. I weigh 165. I need to work the deadlift more. I want to be the guy that is not huge but is freaky strong. My goal for this year is to get my bench up to 265, deadlift to 300, and squat to 300. See what I can do. Also doing plyometrics for explosive power. I'd like to be dunking a basketball by year's end. I could dunk a ladies ball back in high school, but that was 18 years ago. I'm 6' tall.

    I'm going to be motivated, and keep busy- be with people as much as possible. That is my #1 help. I need to be with people. Really, other than the loneliness and the self-worth issues, my life is awesome. Healthy relationships can help me out in those areas. Maybe meet my wife, even.

    Also going to travel more this year. My business is humming, and I am working less. Time to enjoy it.
    that's it for today. Time to get busy.
     
  13. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    I have not been on here in a month, since I have been traveling. I am now on day 35 since my last relapse. I have been so busy living that I simply have not had time to look at anything (and I mean anything) that is arousing or to fap. I have also been around people more than when I am at home.

    The last month has been life changing for me, and I have realized some very important things. I am ready to change. I know I have said that before, so it is up to me to do things differently now. No more insanity. The other thing that is different is that I am developing a laser focus on my goals and the future I want. Every decision is preceded by the question of whether it helps me to reach those goals or not. Then do the right thing.

    All the talking and journaling will mean nothing if there is no follow through, so I won't drag it out. I'll keep you all updated on the progress as time passes.

    Feeling grateful, humbled, and determined.
     
    vyndaloo, vibemaker, Napav and 3 others like this.
  14. Andyst343

    Andyst343 Fapstronaut

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    Know the feeling, im getting there, its good, we have to keep going..
     
  15. Aloha

    Aloha Fapstronaut

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    Your story is amazing .. man, you really encouraged me a lot and I can't hold my smile while reading what you wrote, what you said about being extremely happy then cry in another times is what happening to me now although I'm in my first days but what I feel that our minds try to clear themselves from years of addictions and our emotions start to build itself back.. There's another thing I want to say, don't think too much about your future it causes anxiety or too much about your past it causes depression I don't mean by this that you give up on your dreams but what I mean that when you want to think about your future sit on a chair with a paper and a pen, write your dreams and your goals then write how to reach this, write all the steps then apply what you wrote and believe 100% that you will achieve them and don't think anymore about the future, so my friend live the moment and enjoy your life, you know what's the best? The best is to be happy with anything you do even the simplest one like drinking a cup of tea for example, I just wrote what I know to beat anxiety because it's a reason that we get back in PMO, Keep going bro you inspired me a lot, you are a real man ..
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2017
    vibemaker likes this.
  16. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    @Aloha
    The feel goods are real. Thanks for the encouraging words.

    I MO'd last week a couple times. Stressful week- moved, also getting back into a routine after traveling. So this weekend I aired out some of my issues with someone, and instead of being confident and ready to face things I kind of made excuses and reverted back to my old "victim" thinking. It did not go the way I wanted. At some point my parents and upbringing are no longer the problem. They started me down this path, but I am choosing to continue down it. So I have been down the last couple days. Today I woke up with a headache, and was feeling kind of like "what's the use". Got on IG, found some P/subs and MO'd. Fortunately, still no porn involved, but I know where this is going if I cannot get it together quick. Get out of the house. Keep busy. Be with people. Back to the gym.

    My priorities for the next 6 months to help keep me PMO free:
    1. Spiritual investment- meditation, prayer, Bible study
    2. Physical care- sleep, eat well, gym-
    3. Keep saving $$$ for the future

    When I had made 38 days last week I was determined and confident that I was unstoppable in so many ways. Time to bottle that up again get this done. I deserve to be happy. I have to get that through my thick skull and quit sabotaging my life.

    I cannot seem to reset my counter right now, but I will later. 6 hours clean.

    Edit: The whole "at least it was not porn" bit is a load of crap. If it was not real- as in a real woman/relationship- it counts. Maybe not as damaging as porn, but still fake and harmful, which I know, but I want to drive that home in my mind.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2017
    vibemaker and Aloha like this.
  17. Aloha

    Aloha Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry bro, you will do it as you did it before but don't compare yourself now as before you are much more stronger the thing is the challenges get bigger, you workout so I will give you an example in your 1st day at the gym you may fail with only 10 kilos it's a huge weight for you but after significant time of training you still fail but with 100 kilos, your brain is not as before your brain is stronger so use it well if the life is hard now you are harder keep reading motivations books, just keep reading I recommend "The brain that changes itself" and you mentioned that you want to accumulate more money I recommend to read "Rich dad poor dad" this book is awesome will help you to get more money, trust in God and in yourself, fill your time bro, and keep in mind the harder the life the stronger you will be, life is never easy for elites but it worth these difficulties, without struggles we will do nothing we have to love struggles and live the moment, to forgive ourselves if we lost once and be sure that we will be more stronger next time, we will have more weapons to stand still and win , weapons are knowledge and methods to conquer struggles, I'm happy to listen from you that you get back up, every day in this forum I find more tough and strong people like you more than ever.. God bless you bro, hope never dies.
     
  18. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    I read your first post on this string - thanks for your honesty with the struggle.

    I wrestled with this stuff for years and one of the greatest things I found was drawing a strict line with reset. For me, deliberate mental fantasy is worthy of reset. I get intrusive thoughts daily - and memories, but I immediately deal with them so that I am not deliberately choosing them.

    This is what I have done to deal with thoughts and memories that hit. I use the executive function of my brain, the pre-frontal cortex, and activate it against my limbic system. The limbic urge is what brings obsessive thoughts that lead to PMO. But when a thought hits, I internally address my limbic system using the executive function of my brain. Like a parent speaking to a child, I will say, mentally, "ABSOLUTELY NOT, THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. NOT AN OPTION" and it gets back in line.

    Typically, the limbic system goes off when I'm stressed. The problem is that it has no conscience. That's where the executive function steps in and takes leadership.

    GOD'S PEACE!!!
     
  19. newman_unleashed

    newman_unleashed Fapstronaut

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    @LifeWorthLiving!!!

    Thank you for this information. This is new to me, and will be of great help to me moving forward.
     

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