Time set aside to listen to you

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by mcrcvrng, Nov 26, 2016.

  1. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    I've noticed most people will not take the time to listen to you these days. It doesn't matter who it is, either they don't have the attention span or they are just always going from one thing to another and you are never going to get more than the little bit of spare time here and there from them.

    This is bullshit to me. Especially when you have a serious issue that needs to be talked about, you NEED someone to spend a real amount of time to hear you out. So I want to offer people on here, at least one hour like once or twice a month when it's totally focused on you. That means not multitasking and half listening, like REALLY focused on you and what you have going on.

    People might do this in therapy, but there's no guarantee the therapist understand the PMO issue, I saw a post where someone wasn't even sure they want to mention it to their therapist. So one advantage with someone on here is it'd be someone who understands and support you in rebooting.

    The practical kind of logistics, I'm open to using different ways of communicating for this. If it's going to be chat, I would think something like the SAA or SLAA (12 step groups dealing with sex addiction) IRC chat room would be a good place, especially if it's a member of the opposite sex. If it's another premium member I suggest we use the Shoutbox as long as you don't mind it being kind of public, since it's right here and it'll also encourage people to use that. If you want a little more privacy but still kind of public they sometimes have a second chat room used for meetings which nobody ever uses, but it'd still be public and I think you can call on a mod if things get sketchy.

    Lastly I know it's gotta be people you click with, and I'm not going to be everybodys cup of tea - but I think this is important. I know a lot of times a so called "friend" can't even bother to let you know they got your email, and not everyone is in a position to get therapy and we should be doing this for each other ANYWAY - that's what normal human beings do! Anyway let this thread be used for that hopefully to help people make a real connection.
     
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  2. Frühlingstimme

    Frühlingstimme Fapstronaut

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    Are you sure? Trying to help others might put you down.

    "Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when you're trying to be everyone else's Anchor." @WoundedSoul
     
  3. I respectfully disagree. Although that really is a very good quote. I think it depends on personality. @mcrcvrng might just have that type of personality. I know it, because I am the same way. While dedicating so much to other people and helping them succeed might be draining, I feel it is an amazing way to grow. And personally, I have put myself on the backburner so many times in order to try to help others. At the end of the day, after all the trials, the blood, sweat and tears, not once have I found it to not be worth it. There are all types of people and some of us actually grow and learn most through helping others (most of the time putting our own shortcomings and problems in perspective).

    But that's just my opinion.

    Much Love
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 27, 2016
  4. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    I agree whole-heartedly. I try to encourage at least five people here every day. I find it to be a great application of some ancient wisdom.

    Galatians 6:2 English Standard Version (ESV)

    "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."(love your neighbor as yourself)

    Be Strong My friends.
     
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  5. mcrcvrng

    mcrcvrng Fapstronaut

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    I'm not thinking of it as helping others, I mean the only thing I can guarantee is listening - obviously there's no way I can insure people I'll have great advice that's going to fix everything. I think really listening to someone is a good experience for both the person that needs to unload and the person that is listening. For me as the listener I think of it as being real and getting a better sense of the person, the whole person and not just kind of symptoms of PMO or whatever it is.

    The main thing I think is we need time to process, and like I said even if it isn't me I hope there's someone else people click with and just seriously consider that this is important to do.
     
  6. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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  7. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE <3
     

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