Time to change

Most guys on nofap portal has the similar story to share.
Hope you recover soon.
Stay strong

 

Welcome friend, it's always nice (?) to see fresh people understanding their problem and wanting to overcome their demons, be proud of yourself for people who live full lifetimes sometimes never realise these things about themselves.

Here is something I post to all I see starting or struggling, they're guidelines to what I think you need to overcome this, they were written a while ago but I think they are the same still, so here goes:

1. No half measures
This thing has you gripped, it's not going to disappear one day and you'll be fine, you've got to work for it and give your all to getting through it, if you don't it will always haunt you. So don't take any half measures, don't allow yourself to make excuses or just take a peek, you've got to be in the fight 24/7!

2. Get rid of your smart phone (I said no half measures)
Smart phones are amazing, they open our world up to so many different amazing quality of life apps, information that we wouldn't know and instant messages to friends, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Tragically though, they close people off from the real world, maybe not everyone, but many people find themselves sucked into their phones and never looking up (I mean just look around you on the street or in public places). For porn/sex addicts, it is no doubt the case. One minute we're just relaxing, then BAM there's an urge, and within 30 seconds you can be looking at all the sexual material you ever wanted (as you just described), any fetish, any body type or even specific people. It's hell for us, it makes it too easy for us, and that's why it needs to go. NO EXCUSES!

3. Find a group or a person to help you
I think for me the best thing I have done is join my weekly SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) group in my city, it has opened me up and made me for the first time see other addicts, not just read about them over the internet. A place like NoFap is brilliant and supportive, but I think getting together face to face (or over Zoom as it is currently) is game changing. Seeing the faces of other people with your problem, some over it and some still struggling just give you some motivation, you can see there's an end and you can see that you're not the only one. On top of that it gives you a simple program to follow, a way of realising how far you've delved and the things that led up to it, plus any actions you did whilst gripped in your addiction that you are ashamed of all with the help of someone just like yourself.
If you don't want to reveal yourself that's fine, I am joining weekly phone meetings as well, they're available for all and there's no discrimination there, no judging, you can say your piece and listen to others knowing that it's all confidential and anonymous. I would highly recommend the face to face meetings though if you have one in your area. If you do join a group, swap numbers, call people daily or less if there aren't enough people to call 7 days a week, and get yourself a sponsor straight away. Just have an open mind.

4. Exercise
No doubt you've heard this over and over, or read it on here, but exercise is a great way to help overcome addiction, and also just great for your mental health period. For me there's no better feeling than waking up in the morning, not wanting to get my arse out of bed, but making myself do so and go running for miles, pumping some weights or working on cardio and abs based workouts. Another one that I can sadly not do right now is Swimming, for me I adore swimming and can't wait to get back to it, but be warned you will see people half naked, so that's something to consider. Exercise is great in a pinch too, doesn't always have to be strenuous, but when an urge is coming you get your arse up and start moving, flail those arms, kick those legs, get yourself on the floor and do some press ups, just work yourself and don't stop til you feel a bit more clear headed.

5. Tell someone
If you haven't already, I recommend talking to a friend, maybe multiple friends, even your parents. Addiction thrives in secrecy, we kind of enjoy that it is ours, but when you expose it you drag it out of the place that makes it so powerful, your own mind.

6. No half measures (Have set rules!)
Yeah I'm saying it again, you can't do this unless you go all in, it will be too hard and that I guarantee. I have fought for 6 years and still I am fighting, but I am always learning every step of the way what is right and what is wrong for me. Can't use the PC when your alone without urging? Move it somewhere else with other people around or you can be seen from outside, otherwise if you live with parents, detach your ethernet cable or wireless adapter and give it to them certain times in the day, or just always and only take it back if you really do need it. Can't use the internet without an urge? Then block sites with the many apps out there, if you don't have the money to pay for them then a good one I recommend is Leech Block, it's free and although you can access it, you can make it harder or impossible by giving someone else the chance to set the option password, then you're never changing the blocked sites. You don't trust yourself even when you're using the internet with all these problems out the way? Then get an accountability app, it does cost money though and haven't found one that hasn't, but you can have that lingering feeling there to scare you that someone else (who you trust of course) can see everything you are going on, not a nice thing to know if you are like me and aren't proud of your past history.

I hope these come to help you, I know that most will see this and take bits and pieces and try them, I recommend taking them all, its like I said twice and now three times NO HALF MEASURES! It's not something we can white knuckle on our own, clearly from your post you will power and self control have failed, that's because like all addicts you are powerless, that's just how it is. So I recommend more than any, Number 3, you can't do this alone and nofap although a good tool will not be enough (it's on the internet for christ sake), so seek out SAA or other recovery groups, they've done me wonders!

I hope this helps, message me if you have questions or advice, Good luck!

 

Proper porn blockers are awesome too. I know you can uninstall them, but you have to actively think about about what you are doing when you uninstall. You are forced to think, "I am about to uninstall this blocker because I want to indulge myself in this filth. I am an addict and I can't stop." The blocker makes you think twice about relapsing because of the process you have to go through to uninstall it. Makes you think about what you are about to do which is key to slowly overcoming any addiction.


I recommend Detoxify. I have my own way to prevent uninstallation completely if you want. It worked wonders for me. Message me if you are ready to win brother.