Time to end this for good...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by mogopak, Jan 7, 2021.

  1. mogopak

    mogopak Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    There's probably no real "new" story to reveal here, from reading many topics I can see many other with similar stories and thoughts...

    I've known about NF for some years but never really had the courage to sign up. I always felt that since I got myself into this mess, I can get myself out of it. I guess in times past signing up would be like accepting defeat in the sense that I couldn't quit myself, but its time to face the facts. I've tried quitting probably thousands of times by now over the course of 17ish years and for that I feel ashamed. I've never spoken to anyone about it, so I guess this is the first time I've said anything about my addiction.

    I've gone through many phases over the years with my feelings towards porn and addiction, from denial to depression to indifference. I'm just tired of myself and of failing. Inside I really don't even like porn (If that makes any sense)... quite often even while browsing I find a lot of the content gross. After the sudden urge I get the "moment of clarity" and just feel angry & disgusted with myself and the content... and the rest of the day I just feel disconnected.

    So I'm here to do something more than I've done. I've got my blockers set up, my badge... maybe I should have a daily log or something to give myself a bit more accountability. My first goal really us just to get to 14 days, then 1 month, then 1.5 months (the longest I've managed to stop in the past) and doubling there on.

    I guess here I go... on what I hope to be my last attempt to quit PM.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2021
  2. still_at_it

    still_at_it Fapstronaut

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    You got this! I think that speaking openly about your issue is a good first step. I am new to this site as well and having a support group is incredibly helpful.

    Do you know what your triggers are and do you think it is possible to avoid them? I found that social media has been a huge trigger for me so I've deactivated all my accounts and removed all apps for the past few days. I certainly feel less urges which is helping to make it easier.
     
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  3. mogopak

    mogopak Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! All the best on your journey.

    I deleted my social media some years ago, so that's not really a trigger for me. I have some idea of what does trigger me... being alone, certain images and scenes in general life (I can't really control these).

    First day has been easy, had people over all day so my mind is elsewhere.
     
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  4. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the community! What really helps me is taking cold showers, working out and eating healthy. I feel that it makes my mind healthy and strong.
     
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  5. mogopak

    mogopak Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Oliver, I've never thought of cold showers but I can see why it would work... if I get the urge to start looking a cold shower would probably snap me out of it immediately haha.

    I've been meaning to work out more, I started a decent habit of walking an hour every morning which has kinda stopped of late, I should start that again even just for my general health... its good to do.

    I'm not sure if this is an appropriate place to keep a daily log, the pinned post said to put "reboot" logs elsewhere, but for day 2 - had family over and had no urges, kept my mind busy.
     
    vxlccm likes this.
  6. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

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    Yes, cold showering kind of resets the mind. Crazy thoughts disappear immediately. It has a ton of positive effects on your mind and body. A morning walk is great. Absolutely introduce this habit again. Leave your smartphone at home to make the most of it.
    There is a forum section called Reboot Logs that is segmented in different age ranges. I'd put it there.
     
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  7. Life's Journey

    Life's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Hi mogopak, welcome here. Great to have you fighting the good fight along with the rest of us here on NF. Plenty of good advice on how to approach this on the forum, and you've already taken an important step in reaching out to others and acknowleging you have a problem you cannot overcome on your own. Well done, and keep it up! For me personally, PMO is an outlet for negative emotions, and a habbit, triggered in certain situations (being alone with a computer at hand being one of them :)). What helps for me, is introducing new habits into my life (to replace old ones). And to look for other, better ways to deal with these negative emotions. Sporting, mindfullness, breathing exercises and drawing help for me, as well as interacting with other people and trying to ignore computer screens in the evening (easier said then done that one in this day and age). Good luck on your journey to recovery, you can do this!
     
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  8. mogopak

    mogopak Fapstronaut

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    Thanks guys for the motivation and forum direction!

    @Oliver Gunter Generally I've always taken my phone with me, not that I use it while walking, but rather I track my walk stats so at the end of the day can see an achievement in numbers.

    @Life's Journey Being with the computer all the time is definitely a problem, but one I can't avoid as my job requires it, I just need to exercise more self control and when getting the urges... leave and do something else.

    I'll start a log in the right forum from tomorrow, I don't particularly care if anyone reads it, however I want to keep the habit of checking in daily and it brings some sense of accountability for me to say what happened that day.

    Day 3 was spent with more family like the previous days so its been easy to get through, I expect tomorrow to be tougher as I usually get urges around the 4 day mark and I know I will be alone tomorrow at least for some of the day while I work.
     
  9. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

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    That's fine. The problem I had was that I had to look at it when a new message came in. This destroyed the nature experience for me.
     
    vxlccm likes this.

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