WirelessOne
Fapstronaut
Hi everyone,
I've been following NoFap for a while now, but never really got involved with the community. I've got a lot of respect for everyone here, and while not much of my story is unique, I felt I ought to get some of it down.
I've been trying to recover for about two years now. I spent several years as a fetishist, having discovered them as a teenager. Just to say this outright, I have no problems with fetishism per se. In fact, many of the people I know in those circles are honestly some of the best human beings I've ever met. But something happened which popped that bubble with the subtlety of a ballistic missile. To put it simply, some people close to me had been manipulating me for a long time - and one of them put a stain on my mind which has been haunting my brain for about two years.
I won't go into details on it, but the experience made me realize I had to leave that life behind. So much of my social interaction for YEARS had revolved around other fetishists, artwork, and online roleplaying. For so long, I'd thought it was just who I was (asexual fetishists are a thing, turns out), but in no time, it had become a habit which ate up a great deal of my life. Emotionally relying on people who are in it for the same quick thrills as you... not a great place to be.
Over these two years, I've cut out a lot of my old contacts. My fetishistic drives have become a lot weaker, and I'm able to go for much longer periods in my desire to quit. I'm now 28 years old, and I have a certain degree of hope that my brain can be rewired, and that I can fix myself. One day, I'd love to be a writer capable of conveying the difficulties of addiction, as well as the dangers of pornography to the uneducated.
I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable in terms of relationships, but I'm looking forward to finding out. In terms of my addiction, along with longstanding depression and anxiety issues... I've decided that my 30s are going to be awesome. Whatever happens.
So, yeah. Thanks for reading. I wish each of you all the best!
I've been following NoFap for a while now, but never really got involved with the community. I've got a lot of respect for everyone here, and while not much of my story is unique, I felt I ought to get some of it down.
I've been trying to recover for about two years now. I spent several years as a fetishist, having discovered them as a teenager. Just to say this outright, I have no problems with fetishism per se. In fact, many of the people I know in those circles are honestly some of the best human beings I've ever met. But something happened which popped that bubble with the subtlety of a ballistic missile. To put it simply, some people close to me had been manipulating me for a long time - and one of them put a stain on my mind which has been haunting my brain for about two years.
I won't go into details on it, but the experience made me realize I had to leave that life behind. So much of my social interaction for YEARS had revolved around other fetishists, artwork, and online roleplaying. For so long, I'd thought it was just who I was (asexual fetishists are a thing, turns out), but in no time, it had become a habit which ate up a great deal of my life. Emotionally relying on people who are in it for the same quick thrills as you... not a great place to be.
Over these two years, I've cut out a lot of my old contacts. My fetishistic drives have become a lot weaker, and I'm able to go for much longer periods in my desire to quit. I'm now 28 years old, and I have a certain degree of hope that my brain can be rewired, and that I can fix myself. One day, I'd love to be a writer capable of conveying the difficulties of addiction, as well as the dangers of pornography to the uneducated.
I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable in terms of relationships, but I'm looking forward to finding out. In terms of my addiction, along with longstanding depression and anxiety issues... I've decided that my 30s are going to be awesome. Whatever happens.
So, yeah. Thanks for reading. I wish each of you all the best!
