Time to make my bed, that i might lie in it.

Good Afternoon to you all.

I am uncertain whether real names are appropriate here, so for now i will just go by the moniker of MattressMan. I just learned of this community in the previous week, so please forgive me if there is any breach in etiquette or protocol.

I guess i will start by addressing the matter at hand, I have a problem with pornography, and i think that just now was the first time i have ever vocalized or typed out the situation in those words.

The problem was brought to light some months or years before i would marry my wife of now almost seven years. We, in conversation with some mutual friends, discussed men and their consumption of pornography. Most of the participants described it as natural, and that almost every man partook. My wife disagreed, which was met with incredulity from almost everyone. At some point, the conversation was directed to me, and my wife asked me if i partook as well. I told her frankly yes, it was just what i did.

She asked me if i could stop, for her sake. I told her that if it bothered her, i would, which was met by equal incredulity by many. I rebuked them in a statement of my willpower, great hubris in hindsight. So this was the beginning of a cycle of rising to fall, and today, when i fear falling yet again, i look to this community for some help.

I am a husband and father of two young boys, and am in my early 30s. As of writing this, i have set my streak to 6 days, as this was the last time that i attempted to partake in P. Its actually hard to pinpoint when the last time i engaged in a full PMO, but looking forward, i will be attempting to abstain from PM.

I hope that i can support and gain support from our community, but i'm not quite sure what to do from this point.

 

Hi @Roady

I am growing in knowledge, and the encouragement of just becoming a part of the community has made today enriching.

I might just start a journal as well, thank you for the advice.