Time to say hello

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Andy Dufresne, Dec 11, 2018.

  1. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I will keep this short and sweet but thought it worth introducing myself.
    I'll be aiming to read and contribute little and often for now on. I joined a couple of months ago, having 'gained' the time having lost my job and the gradual realisation that a big chunk of much of my life has been (and is being) wasted on porn and internet. I managed a 23 day no porn streak straight off the bat (no porn)
    I've struggled since - the porn use has reduced but there are other 'bad' substitutes. Anyway, I hope connecting more with others will allow me to give something back and also give me more strength!
     
    Grandpa61 likes this.
  2. Thanks for your honesty and know we are all here for you. Tell me your story either here or PM me. We are all on in this together.
     
    Grandpa61 likes this.
  3. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

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    Be strong my friend.
     
  4. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both.
    In terms of my story - hope this isn't too long...

    I was fortunate that I am just old enough to have gone through puberty/teenage years without any access to porn (no smartphones, only a family computer). I masturbated a lot and can't say it was ever a huge problem at that age (especially as no other 'outlet'!). Life stared to take a darker turn when I left for uni - away from home, alone in room, socially anxious (still a virgin) - but I could now rely on my new 'friend' - my very own personal computer

    Without going into graphic detail, not only did masturbation frequency increase to several times a day, the material became more fetishised (as you might expect with access to porn) and the amount of time lost to the internet became ridiculous. I also think I started to feel the physical symptoms of 'over-masturbation' (fatigue etc) although it's hard to know how much of this is in the head given the lack of scientific support. I did improve into my final year through sheer willpower and was able to get through uni - at that age, the 'hours lost' to porn didn't factor much in my mind (as if I'm going to live forever)

    Things improved as I got a job/girlfriend/more structure in life, although porn has always been there. However, with the advent of smart phones it has become available anywhere, anytime. In the last 1-2 years, I have moved away from using porn to aid M, to becoming a zombie who surfs the internet for porn several times per day. The most depressing thing is how much of your life can be lost looking at junk which literally adds NOTHING to your life! I believe every minute of life is precious and yet seem incapable of putting this into action.

    The past year carried a number of life stresses which fuelled me to use the smart phone still more. This addiction makes me more irritable with family, neglectful and I think even contributed a little to needing to leave my job.

    To end on a hopeful note, being unemployed has given me time to really look at this problem and start working on it. I joined Nofap 2 months ago and managed a 23 day streak. For various reasons it came crashing down and I have been trying to get back on the horse ever since. I decided to block all porn activity from my phone (purposely forgot password so can't unblock!) and have been 3 weeks without porn. This is a definite victory as it removes the worst material - however I have switched to 'substitutes' (images of celebs, ASMR, 'loopholes' on the internet) which can take as much time up as you find the material to achieve the same rush. And I've used porn so many times that a few of the 'moments' I still replay over and over in my head - so still a long way to go.

    Sorry for the ramble!
     
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  5. Grandpa61

    Grandpa61 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing! Stay strong my friend!
     

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