Time to tell my story

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Hisham.ahai, Apr 17, 2017.

  1. Hisham.ahai

    Hisham.ahai Fapstronaut

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    So, it has been 90 days since I quite watching porn and as I promised in one thread I'll be telling you guys my story and how is my progress.
    Some of you are already knowing me from my introductory thread, but I'll introduce myself again.
    My name is Hisham of a Syrian nationality and Argentine citizenship. I'm an engineer in a critical field and of course I'm very proud and happy with my job. That is not the point it's worth it to mention that and I'll go to that later.
    Due to the formation of the arabic culture; there is no posibility to have a sexual relation with women before marriage and in almost 60% of all cases the marriage happens through the families of the couple; meaning that the mother of the boy searches for a wife for her son and then the marriage.
    Being said I've never had a real girlfriend throughout my life in Syria.
    6 years ago I left Syria to continue my post graduate study and started to form my own life far from my family and discovered that my former culture and life was completely different to the new life and I wanted to change it.
    Due to the lack of language and the necessity to study almost 12 hours per day I couldn't get any girl to start with.
    But my porn addiction started a very long time before that. I started watching porn at the age of 17 by watching nude pictures and by the early 20's I started watching real porn clips by renting CD's from a friend who was an addict to porn more than me. From that time until my 27'th birthday I never thought that watching porn was going to destroy my life because I've have no girlfriend to experience a relation with her. But beside that I was very shy with girls and my social anxiety was always a problem for me. When I finished my study I got a job in a local company and few months after that I felt in love with one of my colleagues, she was very attractive and older than me; I've never told her about my addiction but we started to talk everyday and then she was the one who invites me to a date (not like the common cases). We went to the date but I didn't kiss her. Few days later we went to a nightclub but what happend later that after leaving the nightclub I lost all the desires to be with her.
    Nothing changed and I continued watching porn and even worth than before. I've used to be naked at home all the time watching P and fapping for hours and hours. I've used to wake up early in the morning to watch before going to work and and after returning until a very late time at night, and that was my whole life (work and porn and nothing else; no friends no girlfriend and no social life).
    One year later I met another girl and I truely loved her, but due to my shyness it took me alot to talk to her and invite her to a date, so I started psychotherapy to get rid off my shyness and anxiety; and on my first session my therapist started asking me about my early life trying to find out any holes inside me and I felt the urge to tell her about my addiction and at once she passed me a webpage talking about the effects of porn on brain. That was my first attempt to stop watching (of course I didn't get the girl and my anxiety continued because I really liked her). At that time I couldn't quite watching and a few months later I stopped the therapy, but socially I improved alot. By the end of last year I met a very attractive girl and without any hesitate I started talking with her and the unconscious person inside me invited her to a date without any fear. She accepted the invitation and we started to see each other almost everyday until when the moment of getting a relation with her arrived. On that night my mate down there abandoned me. I was very embarrassed and the girl let me on the morning. The next few weeks were the hardest in my life, depression and panic attacks all the days.
    But after that I wanted to change me and on Jan 17th of 2017 I threw every single dvd I had and formatted my laptop and started to convince myself that I can make it. At first it was almost impossible to adapt to the new life of no porn but as one task to keep me encouraged was to post every week on facebook that I completed such an amount of no porn (of course with changing the privacy so I'm the only one who can see the post).
    During the first month my mate down was completely out of service, but I didn't care about that since I had no gf and stopped going out, so that was my rebooting stage. The 30th day was a milestone and I celebrated that alone in a small bar, and during that night I met a girl and we interchanged the phone numbers and invited her to a date on the next day. We went out on our date and I told her about my case and the sexual relation may take some time before it happens. She understood that and said that she was going to help me getting better with time. On the 2nd month of my porn-free journey she said that it was time to try out and the magic happened. Yes it worked and the reboot was working.
    During the last 30 days I never felt the urge to watch porn and I think that my brain now is clean.
    On the other hand, my social life is much better and everyone who sees me says that I'm a different person; my eyes are shinny all the time and my form of coversation has changed 360 degrees.
    I'll keep posting on facebook every week and celebrate with my gf every month.
    Hope you guys find my story useful and I'll post again in few months.
     
  2. chanteur49

    chanteur49 Fapstronaut

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    Awesome job Hisham. The effect of porn watching that I most despise is no doubt social anxiety. But I've experienced times where the anxiety has lessened...always following a period of abstinence. Thanks for sharing your story. Best of luck to your relationship and future.
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  3. SiphoMoses08

    SiphoMoses08 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the motivational, honest post bra!...You're doing it, Keep on fighting.
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  4. SoldierEr

    SoldierEr Fapstronaut

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    the coinsidence is we start almost in same date to this journey i started i 20 january of 2017 ..:)
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  5. programer

    programer Fapstronaut

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    Hi buddy, I lost the girl of my life when I started PMO because I became so shy. Keep going. You will make it.
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  6. Will_power_now

    Will_power_now Fapstronaut

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    Very encouraging story. Thanks for sharing:emoji_handshake:
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  7. Covert

    Covert Fapstronaut

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    Standing in the present situation I don't know whether I would be able to achieve this type of success or not. I don't think only PMO but my carelessness , anxiety and fear also lead me to this point. But really its good to know what you have achieved and keep up with the progress.
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  8. abel_pua

    abel_pua Fapstronaut

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    Great success story! it gives me even more motivation
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  9. Dream_Line34

    Dream_Line34 New Fapstronaut

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    Great :) Keep it up !
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.
  10. Hisham.ahai

    Hisham.ahai Fapstronaut

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    6 days left to the next milestone of 100 days of PMO-free!!!!!!!! :emoji_100::emoji_100::emoji_100::emoji_100::emoji_100::emoji_100::emoji_100:
     
  11. GREAT ! Such an inspiration is what I need right now. Thanks.
     
  12. Hisham.ahai

    Hisham.ahai Fapstronaut

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    So once again! I achieved a new milestone and today i'm celebrating my 100th day of PMO-free!!!!!!!!!!! What a great life I've been missing :emoji_100::emoji_100::emoji_100:
     
    mb1989 and Marcel0404 like this.
  13. CONGRATULATIONS !
     
  14. PieLover

    PieLover Fapstronaut

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    I salute you :)
     
    Hisham.ahai likes this.

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