time to whine

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by fapequalsdeath, Sep 15, 2019.

  1. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    hey what's up lonely and depressed people out there? how are you? not great I assume. Anyway, after my fourth fap today I decided to post some thread in this section. For some reason, the loneliness section is the most attractive to me, I don't know maybe I find solace in the fact that there are fucked up people just like me. So, anyway, let's whine a little bit about my life. I'm a below-average male in most areas of life - fitness, women, social contacts and people skills, career - kinda ok. I fap every day for the past months and that's multiple times. I waste my time by not being as productive as I should be - play mostly video games, go out with my below-average friends work out just a little bit here and there not to become a fat fuck, but surely not to see some real gains, cuz who would want that right? I have a job that pays relatively well, but is incredibly stressful and challenging but pays well and I dread every time going to work. No woman in my life - not ever, no kiss no nothing. Quite sad I must say. The inability to attract the opposite sex speaks for itself - you are a failure. I'm not talking about sex, kissing, etc. just even a date which might lead to those things - not even a date. I fap cause I' me depressed I eat garbage foods cuz I'm depressed and I waste my free time cuz i'm depressed. And each day I say the next one I'm not gonna fall into that bad behavior and guess what - I do. I just don't feel like it, cuz I'm depressed. I mean those things are not hard I just don't do them. Can't put myself to it. and days go by and I get older and more sad and depressed and it's getting worse. It's like I'm not controlling my own actions most of the time. It's really hard being fulfilled and happy in our society and environment - everyone is isolated and cold, there are few meaningful conversations if any, when you are starting from 0 it's hard to get a house and support a family at the same time - a necessity for happiness in my opinion. I feel like going into the woods and buys a cheap house in there, the problem is you can't sustain yourself easily that way. unless you have some passive income maybe, and have very few expenses - no new car, TV, etc, no fancy stuff just the bare minimum for a comfortable life. And then again, what woman will be willing to live like this? Idk I'm just dreaming here haven't made any decision, even if I do it who knows i can be depressed again. If I'm a mess now who says that I won't be a mess when the environment changes? So, I'm pretty much stuck in a rut and can't stop myself, or have a lot of trouble doing so. Wonder if I'm ever gonna pull through.
    safa61947 likes this.
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    It's not easy to get out of a rut that's spiraling you downwards. You experience how things are and the tendency is to think, feel, and behave in a way that feeds how things are. You're low on belief of things changing for the better. So you try to escape the problem or merely try to survive it. All of this leads to nothing changing or it getting worst which causes you to experience more of how things are and to reinforce how things are.

    You won't get out of this downwards spiral if you keep focusing on how things are. You have to develop the ability to see and believe beyond it. Towards something better and work towards it. If you don't believe that you can achieve your goals, then you'll give a mediocre effort that's not enough to create real change because the less effort you give the less disappointed you'll be. You can't tolerate and be fine with how things are if you want to get out of this situation. You have to take massive, urgent, and drastic efforts towards what you want. It might not work and there's no guarantees, but that's what it takes to live the life that you want to have and to become the person you want to be.

    It's safer and more comfortable to stay where you are despite it being a bad situation. Most people rather experience a whole life of quiet desperation rather than sacrifice short term comfort by experiencing intense emotional volatility for the possibility of achieving their long term goals. Dabbling, playing it safe, mediocre effort, tolerating where you currently are, and tip toe'ing safely and comfortably through life until you die is not the way to develop a reality that you desire.

    The life that you have right now was built with everyday small decisions. It was built brick by brick until you built a big wall. So why would you expect anything different about creating a different life? It takes a lot of effort, risk, and time. Delayed gratification.... but most people prefer instant gratification which leads to a situation such as yours.

    No advice in the world is going to help you if you don't start helping yourself and taking it very seriously. You can't dabble your way out of this.
  3. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

    First thing, quit willingly fapping every time you feel depressed. You drag yourself down further this way.
    Read this.
  4. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    ^pretty good message in the title. Yeah I gotta fix myself.
    Get_It likes this.
  5. I really hope things turn around for you my friend. I've been there for sure, just know that life is worth living even if it seems like it sucks, when I was faced with the same exact situation I became a fighter. This world with all of its gile isn't going to get me down, because life is a gift. Think about it, you're on a rocky planet with a suspended atmosphere that provides you with everything you need for sustainability.

    In short, and I know sometimes when you are knee deep in it, it's hard to do but just give thanks. Giving thanks will go a long way with lifting up your perspective on life.
  6. One_More_Chance

    One_More_Chance Fapstronaut

    First step was signing up for this forum. I have been where you are (and I didn’t even have the good career). It has taken me years, but things are finally starting to look a bit better for me after a lot of work. Do feel free to start a journal on this forum so that the community can help and support you!
  7. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    Yea life is hard, but rarely can find the strength to get me out of the rut and it bothers me.

    Tried a journal but to lazy and inconsistent to maintain it...
  8. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    At least you got a good streak? That is something, isn't?

    Have some hope. You don't really have other options until you come up with some ideas. Some suggested journaling, I say sit and think over what do you want from life, once you figure it, next time is make a plan.
  9. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    Bro the counter here is fake I have just not bothered to change it, I fap every day and am depressed as fuck. Journaling helps while i'm doing it but then i just forget about it and ignore what I've wrote... There seems to be very few things, if any at all, that can get me out of the rut. I know I have to to do it and noone else will do it for myself and yet I can't put myself to do it.
  10. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    Oh, I didn't see that coming. Indeed, makes little sense to update the counter every time if you keep relapsing. It sucks. When I'm in a similar state, no motivation, depressed, I just try to pay attention to how I am feeling. How do you feel before and after a "relapse", after you PMO? A few times this was enough to motivate me. I would write about how I was feeling before and after PMO, the act on itself may carry some answers.
  11. My eyes are rekt, legit read the title as "time to whore". Did a double take immediately. :rolleyes::)
    HoneyBoi likes this.

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