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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by LoyalKnight, Apr 27, 2017.
Did you try out Tinder? If so, what are your experiences with it?
I don't do tinder or social media for that matter . If I do try to meet women, I rather meet them in person versus a computer screen any day . Just be careful with those sites or apps, A-lot of temptation around that field so use with moderation .
What tinder has to offer does not interest me. I am after something much more substantial and real than casual dating and sex. Quick fixes will hurt me deeply in the end. I think it is worth the discipline patience uncertainty and even loneliness, to be old fashioned and cultivate a relationship with a woman face to face, with the intention to find out if I want to marry her or not.
Of course this is a generalisation of tinder, but I think it fits...
i feel at times like I have few alternatives to Tinder as (a) I don't find many guys attractive (or vice versa) (b) I've in a city where the guys tend to be quite reserved in person. (c) I gotta admit, I like something that lets me screen out guys who are not physically attracted to me or vice versa. I often work 12 hours plus days when working - oh BOY do I hope that changes soon! so I don't always have the energy to go
to a zillion social events just to find that needle in the haystack! Sometimes I do go though. And i'm in a female-dominated career. I did have a crush on a yummy music teacher a couple of years ago but I choked. But that's really rare. It's usually women and children and if
there are guys, they're not my type. I tried plenty of fish and ok cupid and I even went to some plenty of fish parties and that was fun
socially. But I don't have much luck on those. At one time I was getting up to two emails a day on plenty of fish from guys I was NOT attracted to and NOT interested. And I HATE rejecting people. I really hate it and I had a polite copy and paste rejection reply. Because I can't stand typing those words! Cos I know how it feels to be rejected. Very few guys on plenty of fish I actually liked were attracted to me, although I got literally a few dates out of it, but that was over a long period of time. So, see, I've actually gotten actual dates off Tinder, though it's getting rarer. Usually just coffee or drinks dates. But they were from guys I initially found attractive and vice versa. The downside of Tinder for me is that I tend to get a lot of guys who only ask for sex. I KNOW people say it's a "hookup" app, but I'm not ON it for THAT. I'm on it cos I want a faster way to FIND the needles in the haystacks. I'm on it cos I've been to many meetup groups - though I like them socially - and later though Nup, didn't fancy anyone. (Or, sometimes they just didn't fancy me.) Ditto for singles events. And, you gotta understand, it's DIFFERENT in the UK!!! It's not like in the States where guys walk up to women and ask their number or whatever. Often times the guys are so shy they have to be drunk to even approach and who wants a drunk guy? Plus, like I said, not just me but in London a lot of people tend to work long hours. I even know women who have gone back to where I am from and ended up meeting and marrying a guy and that never happened for them over here! So, yeah I occasionally Tinder. But as a rule not to get laid, but to try to get dates and hopefully find someone special. But the strong sexual focus is really annoying for me. I genuinely AM after romance, not just sex. And I don't really know where else to look for it BUT on Tinder. I suppose with alledgedly other women in bikinis on there or whatever, me with my average looking selfies showing just my face (not a lot of body confidence here and DEFINITELY don't have a bikini body!) I guess I'm lucky I get ANY guys right swiping me! Ironic, though, that my profile says things like no hookups and that I am looking for dates and it is SO WHOLESOME as are the photos and yet I STILL sometimes attract the horny ones hoping for a hookup! And trying to set that up right away! Once a guy said about going to winter wonderland and when I right swiped him and we matched, he was asking for sex in the car. I was like, what happened to winter wonderland? And I cried my eyes out. Cos it felt like he was saying, no, you're not pretty enough for that, I'm ashamed of you, I want to have you as my dirty little secret. NO THANKS. I wish I could be a trophy woman, I wish I was beautiful enough to be that. But, obviously I'm not. I haven't even had a guy take a photo with me for a real long time. So, there you go, that's what an ugly woman's experience on Tinder is like. Well, I must be ugly, a friend didn't want me to take a photo, I only wanted to take a photo of the ice skating, not us and then later he's taken a selfie with another galpal. sighhhhh.
I gave Tinder a try, hated it immediately. It is discouraged to include any information about yourself. It really is based entirely around physical attraction, which is just not appealing to me in the slightest. I uninstalled after one day.
I sometimes DO put info about me, but I have left swiped most guys who didn't do that, thinking who ARE you? If they had profile info and I was attracted, I'm more likely to swipe right cos connection is important to me as well as attraction.
I included information about myself, but after a day of swiping and seeing exactly zero girls say a single word about what kind of person they are, I had just about enough.
Tinder is like porn, we'd do best if we would never use it. Never.
Nothing is better than classic, face to face approach and conversation which can lead to dates. The tinder is not an alternative, nor will it be ever one.
I wonder if there would be any point getting tinder if I'm not going to have sex till I'm married (from now on lol). But I have no idea how else to meet guys..
What Sweet said. Lack of OPPORTUNITIES to meet guys otherwise
Honestly, Tinder isn't my style of meeting girls IRL. I like to try and get out there and meet people. I like face-to-face interactions as it leads more of a lasting impact and you have to go through the effort of making the first move which can be good or bad. However, on Tinder if you get rejected you just move on to the next person. That's how I look at it.
I have too much pride to go on tinder. What if someone I know sees me on there? I'd get so much shit for it! So I think I'll end up being single all year cause no one's hitting on me IRL!! Damnit I knew I should've approached that guy at uni who I saw checking me out and smiling. But what do I say? "Hi, I saw you checking me out...here's my number"? How humiliating if he was like "ugh no I wasn't"...
I have a bit of a Tinder dilemma.
I've been asked by my latest match "So what are you looking for on here?"
I don't really get why he's asking unless he didn't read my profile because as well as my interests, hobbies, I also say
So, maybe he just didn't read it?
And like what IS a good way to answer that, cos I never know?
I kinda want to say "Can't we just meet each other and find out? Just see where it leads?"
Like, sure my ideal WOULD be to find a boyfriend on there but it's not like you're gonna look at a guy and go "Oh he's 110% my next boyfriend!" like you just don't know.
I didn't know this.
Harsh bruh. lol I know at least two Christian friends of mine from school who found their person on there. One got married another is in a serious relationship of over 2 years (5?). So they'll probably get married. You can find love anywhere. Just don't budge on your ideals.
As far as my experience goes, they were cute but quiet LOL. Damn couldn't even get a "ay girl you up" message at 12 am. Oh well
Well normally it goes -> match -> exchange #s -> trying to get some. So repeat yourself, no hookups. He'll throw the get to know ya line, don't fall for it. You did not stop wanting to get in my pants in under 10 minutes. C'mon man
Ha ha I had one date with a very quiet guy which was SO bad that now it's funny, but then it was not. So, I never text on a date or even with friends, cos it's just rude and I want to focus on who I am with. So, this guy was watching TV most of the time (in the bar) and any questions I asked got one word answers. At one stage he said "They have a hotel downstairs." Not sure if that was supposed to be a hint, but I thought, buddy, you WISH! Anyway, I went to the toilets and honestly considered climbing out the window in there and running away! I ended up chatting to people in my old chatroom during the date and I NEVER EVER do online stuff when I am with a person in real life. But he was THAT quiet! Also sometimes when someone is very quiet or chatty, like my mood can match people's and that
happened with him too, even though I also did try to get him to open up.
That is what made me try it out. I lost my +90 days streak to tinder. In fact, I got so horny that I ejaculated twice without touching myself while swiping and looking to girls. Tinder and online dating is simply a no go for me. I never approached a girl IRL, so why even bother with tinder if you never approached a girl? (I would even not bother, if I did) No way, no chance for online dating, banned that stuff for good from my life!
But why didn't you chat to her instead and oh I dunno, ask her on a date??
Anyway, back to your streak and if Tinder hinders it, then yeah stay away!
It hinders me, clearly. Interaction IRL comes first.
I can say here, Tinder used well can lead to good relationships. But the time invested in Tinder is not worth the effort. Other than that, it made me ejaculate (relapse) without even touching myself. I am simply too sensitive for that kind of stuff, my brain views it as porn. Advantages and disadvantages of high sensitivity, huh?
That is not the way how Tinder works, you can only message if both of you got a swipe right(like).
Messaging has nothing to do with shyness, everyone can do it. That is nothing to be proud of. To go and talk to a girl IRL is something that only the minority does, most use online dating instead.