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Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Greatness, Mar 20, 2016.
What do u guys think bout tinder?
A good way how to hook up but also a potential trigger to relapse.
Attempting to date/hook up through the use of social media is pathetic.
Get out and meet people in real life. Develop real social skills. Approach hundreds of women. Stop hiding in your house.
I'm going to let you in on a secret. There are lots of women who are rocking daily messages from guys on Facebook, hundreds of beta male followers on Instagram, dozens of daily swipes from guys on Tinder - and they'll drop all that silly nonsense for a man who has the balls to approach them and hold their attention in real life. Women seek validation. They get a ton of it over the internet. The problem is, communication with a median has a reduced effect. Validation in person is always superior.
Yeah, I agree with most of what you're saying, but just relax a little bit. And at the same time, I wouldn't count dating websites out. Not all of us have the "balls" to do what you've just mentioned. Some of us have such busy schedules, we barely have time to look for dates. That's just one example of course. I thought about using a dating site once (only because I live in a small state with no diversity, and there are not a lot of Asian girls here for that matter), but I thought I should give the local area a second chance. Personally, I don't find dating websites too helpful, but like I said, it helps for some.
Anyway, if you're the type of guy who can walk into bars and easily spark a conversation with a woman, that's fucking awesome. In my opinion, just starting somewhere familiar is a great idea e.g. church, school, the gym, and so on. I've met girls through some of these areas. All in all, everything has its pros and cons. I wouldn't say dating websites are all that bad, although everything about this guy/girl looks good on profile, but when you meet them in person, it's a different story. However, I do wish we could all communicate and talk to each other the old fashioned way. That is, without all this technology, media, and other shit.
Well that's very harsh.Tinder is fine really fine, you will talk to a lot of girls but later you have to deal with a real date and a real girl.
So Tinder is nice but only if you go to get a date as soon as possible.
You have to be like a salesman, dont let them think you offer and give them time because they will reject you, close now
Saying that using Tinder to find somebody is in general pathetic makes absolutely zero sense to me. Sounds very close minded. It's like saying that using phone to talk with people is pathetic or sending a paper letter to a friend through mail. "Go and talk with them instead". Ridiculous. It's called TECHNOLOGY and CONVENIENCE. Tinder, and social media in general, is a tool like everything else. You find a girl that you like, you message her to see if she is interested and if she is get her phone number, talk that way through phone and set up a real date. You are still training real social skills and in the end going out and meeting real person. It's not the same as jerking off to pixels, far from it.
I agree tho that if ALL you do is sit on social media all day and chat without having balls to do take another step forward, well, that could be pathetic. I guess it really depends how we use it. But there is more than one right way how to find a date.
I used Tinder while i was doing hard mode and there is no problem.
You talk to girls, you feel a good vibe and connection with her and get a date.Thats not patethic.
The hard truth is that maybe on person she will no be like on the messages, not all the girls but dont have a high expectation on the real dates.
I had one months ago, that i planned a date with a cute girl but when I saw her for the 1st time she was very very fat, and we have a good conversation but I didnt chat with her again ever.
So hahah what I'm saying is that Tinder is awesome but be careful with the girls that only show their face that are the fatties hahaha
^^^This^^^ but honestly it's almost common knowledge if you know anything about online dating that if the chick only posts pictures of her face something is up with her body. I don't get it, be proud of who you are! If people hate on you for it screw them. Then again maybe the girls like fucking with guys like that, haha.
I hear what you're saying man. It's not just photos of chicks hiding their body which can seem pretty obvious, but also something even more simple: It's something behind their smile. One time I knew a very pretty brunette girl on Facebook with the sweetest smile...but she never showed her teeth. Now I know exactly why she always smiles in literally ALL of her pictures.
Hey look at the irony of this thread! One of my friends last night secretly told me that she met her boyfriend on Tinder. Go figure
Haha that's a good one
A lot smart comments here. Well there are pro's and con's to both sides. A buddy of mine met his girl on tinder, cuz there weren't any girls around in his small town. Well thats one thing, but on the other hand I believe it's just as important to get out there and start talking to girls. You shouldn't expect to be directly confident on the first couple of tries. I mean its a skill which needs to be worked on. Looking silly at first is necessary in order to improve. Try this: Hit the town and lie down on the ground for about one minute. This shit is embarrassing as fuck, but after that you'll notice that you will care a bit less what people might think about you. Or just try to give people high fives. Most people won't hit at first cuz u r awkward as fuck, but the rate will increase believe it or not
Interesting. I'm actually reading a book on irrational beliefs and REBT therapy written my Albert Ellis. One awkward part in the the book was being able to do stupid things and not feel bad or embarrassed about it e.g. singing randomly on the street or purposely knocking over a stack of cans in the supermarket. The point is not to make yourself a complete idiot, but to dispute your irrational beliefs that it's not as bad. People don't seem to care as much as you think. I'll try to do the high five thing lol
I had an identical question that I posted here.
There was this girl that I've had a crush on for a bit but hardly talked with. I actually saw her on tinder! I swiped right, got nothing in return, but she might not use tinder at all. Anyway, that gave me confidence to be more forward with her, so I asked to get coffee with her sometime and she said yeah! But I immediately deleted my tinder after that. If you're persistent with it, you'll eventually meet some of these girls in person, and even sleep with, but you have to be persistent. I found it extremely addicting and I was using my 100 swipes in one sitting and doing it again as soon as the time limit expired. I was also super self conscious about people I know seeing it, so I was very relieved when I finally deleted it. I say give it a try, but be willing to delete it if it's causing more harm then good.
how has it been so far? DO u feeel like tinder has been a p-sub for you?
There's nothing wrong with Tinder. It's how it's used that's the problem. My cousin met his current girlfriend on Tinder and they've been dating for over a year now. She's really sweet. I can see how it would be a trigger though.
It was a tiny bit of a p sub but more so I was pretty addicted to it. I was glad once I deleted it
It has got me a little turned on and sent me to porn before, but not while I was on a streak of NoFap.
It's mostly a waste of time, but I have hooked up and dated girls from there a few times.
There are some ignorant comments on here. All that crap about "beta males" or meeting people in real life being a superior method. I use online dating (mostly OKcupid) to MEET people, not to get to know them. Chat a tiny bit, and then go grab a beer, or coffee, or walk in the park. A lot of women NOT WANT to be approached out in public, but they will feel more comfortable if they can read your profile first.
There are a lot of different approaches to meeting people, in real life or online. You've got to tailor your approach for both what you are comfortable with, and what the girl seems most likely to respond to. I don't want most women who would be receptive to some guy schmoozing up to her at a bar. I like online dating because it makes it easier to identify who is available and has similar interests. I also try to meet people at events and through organizations that I'm interested in, but that has limited potential in a smaller town, or a college town where I'm ten years older than most of the single women.