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Tips about this situation?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by thedutchman, Apr 2, 2017.

  1. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    My trigger is clear. Everytime i"m alone, thus when my girl leaves the house, i get triggered. I race for the ipad and you can fill in the rest. Even when i feel fine and think i master the situation as soon my girl leaves a button gets pressed and i"m done. This 3 weeks in a row. Has anyone tips how to make sure the control the situation?

    (Blocking websites makes no sense, i cracked all the security we could try, i'm a programmer)
     
  2. Dajic

    Dajic Guest

    What is your second trigger? So you're alone in the house and thereby have the opportunity to act, but what makes you actually act on it? Are you bored, stressed, annoyed, etc.? Perhaps we can get some suggestions going for that, since blocking websites indeed might not work for you.

    (However, have you thought about configuring OpenDNS on your home's router, and having your girlfriend set the router's password? That hardware block is not something you can circumvent with your programming skills, and either requires (from what I can tell now) establishing another internet connection or replacing the router with a new one. :) ).
     
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  3. Hungry_Shark

    Hungry_Shark Fapstronaut

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    i think you should have a self talk and decide if its good for you or not
     
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  4. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    I just relapsed after waking up. It's hard to control these situations. I would recommend just turning up some music you like to sing, read some books, put on a new outfit, anything to make you feel alive after she leaves.
    That way you won't be as focused when she's gone. And next time you're tempted, think of her. What if she was by your side that very instant? She wouldn't want you doing it, we wouldn't want you doing it, and yourself wouldn't want you doing it, then why are you doing it? At that moment put the Ipad away and go outside
     
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  5. thedutchman

    thedutchman Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all your suggestions. I needed another point of view.

    The openDNS thing might work. About the second trigger, when i hold an elektronic device my mind says, you could do it. Why not?

    Somehow i always turn on off everyrational thought. even when my "normal" self comes through i put that away.

    I"ll to get there. It feels like a normal thing to do. It feels more normal to grab the ipad then actually leave it.

    I"m gonna try your suggestions. I hope it helps.
     
  6. Dajic

    Dajic Guest

    The reasons for why not are different for each person, I think. But let's say you continue this behaviour for the next 5 years. How would that affect you career wise? Your relationship with your girlfriend? Financially? Your happiness?

    I don't know if you already tried it, but why not start the day with writing down three reasons why you do not want to watch porn that day. This doesn't have to be huge or spiritual (but can also be something like 'having time to do the dishes :)'). But then you'd at least know why you're doing what you're doing.

    Why not ditch the iPad completely? If the iPad is such a trigger for you, I'd consider removing it from your home for the next weeks. I can't imagine that you actually need (and I mean really NEED) the iPad, since as a programmer you probably already have a desktop PC for your actual work.
     
  7. nick9999

    nick9999 Fapstronaut

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    Nothing will work for you unless you make a serious commitment to yourself to not look back to porn after only these tool will help you. First you have to figure out why you are doing whether releasing stress or feeling alone fear what the exact problem is after that work and you will definitely not get the urge to fap
     
  8. Health is key

    Health is key Fapstronaut

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    Why not just satisfy yourself with your Girlfriend and make that your rule. I'm sure she would love the extra action you're wasting on yourself.
     

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