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Tired of this empty pleasure seeking

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by alameda, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    • Hey guys, Im from uk, based in London. I have been trying to quit pmo for around 5 years and I just cant seem to do it. My belief in being able to achieve this is at an all time low. I fear I must have some serious low self esteem issues considering that I just keep coming back to this digusting habit. Recently its been like every 5 days and then I binge... I just seem to use it as a way to cut off from things like a lot of people do. Anyway I need to be brave and accept enough is enough. Maybe just cancel my internet subscription and just go to internet cafes for a bit... Im desperate for change...
    I have an amazing girlfriend good friends and a job I really enjoy. But this just keeps undermining all my happiness, energy, sexual energy and potential.... It just makes me so feel deflated and lost...
    Im just pretty scared that this may just be something I cant ever get over. I have tried so many times.. Sorry dont wish to be negative for people who need positive stories but just not seeing a solution at the moment...

    any advice would be appreciated.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2017
  2. Nf_dreamer

    Nf_dreamer Fapstronaut

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    One day after I took a shower after doing PMO, I tell my self that:

    I will never ever will be able stop PMO...

    And Now...

    I am on day 39...

    Be strong man.... Everyone can do it.
    Just you need to deal with it as an addiction, this is the Key.

    These some tips that I follow:
    - Motivation: keep the reasons of why you should not doing PMO near in your mind... Always motivate yourself specially in the first days.
    - Don't put a lot of pressure on your shoulder... I know how much you want to quit PMO... But believe me it make it worse.... Just Tell yourself that: I'm not going to relapse but if this happen I will try again and again. ( don't relapce it is just a brain game:D)
    - be away from triggers.... Be aware of what you can handle and what you cannot. For me soft scene sex in a movie will make me do PMO :cool: as much as you avoid them the easier It became.
    - Use counters... When the argues become strong... Look at how many days u succssed... And you will know that you are strong and could go further and further.
    - know about what it is coming on ( it vary between us but there is some common stages) : Depression, brain games, flatline, semen leakage... Etc

    Be strong & Good luck
     
  3. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    So this is my the third day without pmo. I really dont want to get complacent anymore. Ive had about three triggers today just working from home. Whether its just reading news and seeing katie perry or something else - there are triggers everywhere. my brain has been programmed to make love to the screen (if that makes sense) very unnatural. I am going to aim for 90 days... Yes people say it a lot but ive got to think big. enough is enough...
     
  4. Vinsent

    Vinsent Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, welcome back and to day four. So, what has been the longest you have gone without PMO? If per the post above it was five days, then you just have to get 23 March to have achieved a new record. Sign in here every day and post about it. When you get to your new record, let us all know and we'll celebrate your achievement with you and help you get to the next day together.
     
  5. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 4 today. I have been keeping busy. Trying to connect more with my spirituality; I had a really profound meditation session today and managed to find a calm present place. I am currently some Brazilian songs for a show in a couple of weeks. its nice to immerse myself in different hobbies this brings happiness.. If we are happy who needs pmo?!? I realise how much I am overly addicted to the internet period..

    The longest was about 90 days but that was without m. Thanks for the support man, I really appreciate it... Ive been feeling more positive about my ability to get through this. I just need have an holistic approach; all areas of my life need awareness.
     
  6. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 5 today.
    I got pretty distracted yesterday. I was on tinder and Ii was giving me a lot of urges. In the end I just m'd but i thought that was better then pmo.... I had a trigger just now; was feeling a bit stressed out and I was straight away thinking of going to p (I was at my computer which doesnt help) whenever I feel a negative feeling. sometimes it seems like it can be the smallest thing and then p seems like a quick way to numb this difficult emotion... Anyway; keep on staying mindful :)
     
  7. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    I have been feeling very isolated today and I came across this from the emergency button. It ha really given me an insight as to how feel when I am abstaining.

    "Social Isolation is a common sympton of drug withdrawal. If you're feeling lonely/Isolated, remember that its your brain re-wiriing itself - I learned this the hard way. All my relapses up to this point have been caused by strong, sudden depressive feelings of being alone in the world. You're actually alone, it's just that your brain is making you want to fap so that it doesn't have to fix/grow pleasure receptors. If you feel like this, wait a few days and you'll be fine. I want other fapstronauts to know that they're not the only ones who get these feelings." - Trancearoundtheworld
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2017
  8. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 7 without pmo however I need to stop the m part now.
    I've just been putting this new energy into doing tasks and having more passion towards them. The urges keep coming but I think thanks to meditation and keeping busy im mindful of when it occurs. Also allowing k9 to block websites is very helpful to fight against triggers. Just trying to improve my need for instant gratification...
     
  9. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 9 today. Yesterday was fine as I was busy with music stuff. I had to learn this Brazilian music. I'd worked at it everyday for a week and finally had the practice yesterday and it was great just to get lost in work... I work from home where I teach music and also play live quite a lot. However; there is a lot of the time in day time and think this is also a reason why I struggle. I think if I had a normal 9 to 5 I would be able to just switch off pmo a little more as im fine when im busy. I dont really even think about it around other people... Today ive decided I wanted to relax and straight away ive been constantly thinking about P... Anyway ive been trying to quit for so long... I know that when under stress or sadness I tend to automatically go to pmo as a form of release... I suppose its also connected with the instant gratification of just being able to see hot girls and not have to actually face that in reality. Its really very stupid how easily I just fall back in when I know its terrible for me.. it always leaves me feeling empty and rubbish afterwards but that is I suppose just constantly using pmo since I was 17 or 18.. It's like a guy having peanut allegy but then choosing to eat peanuts thinking it will be a relief.. crazzzzy
     
  10. Jamesmwaura

    Jamesmwaura Fapstronaut

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    Hey, just wanted to tell you that the urges you're getting are normal to addicts such as ourselves but you shouldn't give in. The urges are hard to fight because the part of your brain responsible for giving you pleasure has grown larger than that responsible for reasoning. In a test of might at this moment, the pleasure is meant to win, so you being on day 9 deserves a pat on the back. I can't remember which article I was reading, must have been on yourbrainonporn, which said it takes approx 5-6 months for a user of porn to have his mind rewired to its original state. So don't give in. You've been winning, keep winning! In due time the urges will get weaker. They won't be this strong forever, THEY WILL GET WEAKER! Keep fighting bro! You're feeding the right wolf! Just keep going! It ain't easy, but it is damn sure worth it!
     
  11. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 10 without porn. However this is now day 1 of 90 days without masturbation either. It's going to be tough and ive never managed it before. However I've managed to go on google settings take away images from the interent. I think this will definitely stop the triggers a little more. Im not gonna touch my dick period.
     
  12. p_fighter

    p_fighter Fapstronaut

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    Hello from another fighter, congratulations for reaching day 10. This fight is really tough and the key to success is perseverance and determination. That said, I'd say that staying clean of everything is the key. Go cold-turkey and you'll eventually win.

    As a small tip, one of the things it helped me a lot is to switch my apartment's router off after 12 pm (or a certain hour where you feel that you should go to bed).

    Cheers. Keep clean
     
    Bryaan, Sebastian24, Hubris86 and 2 others like this.
  13. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    I thought that I had seen every possible help, but this is the first time I had seen turning off the router. It would be so effective and simple to set it on a timer for Christmas lights. Thanks.

    I am glad you are back, and hope this goes well for you and that you can continue to encourage others.

    From Spain?
    Has encontrado: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/nofap-en-español.50547/page-43#post-777917
    Si entiendes español, hay una comunidad de apoyo.
     
    Bryaan, Deleted Account and Hubris86 like this.
  14. stephanD

    stephanD Fapstronaut

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    I've give up before but have slipped back into the habit, and I find it hard when I'm only on a few days at the beginning and your brain is telling you you don't have much to loose. Anyway putting a foot back on the road and starting the journey again. 10 days is great it does start to get easier.
     
  15. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the kind words. Im definitely going to try turning off the router - thats a great idea considering i work from home most of the time.
     
    Bryaan and Deleted Account like this.
  16. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Im on day 11 today. Day 2 for no masturbation either. Im feeling the most intense urges today it really sucks. My trigger was going on tinder partly...
    Feeling quite concerned about not making it to 90 days. Anyway im hoping i can make it through today. the urges are intense
     
    Bryaan and Deleted Account like this.
  17. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 12 without pmo but day 3 without masturbation. Im feeling quite sad today I think its partly result not having a p as a way to numb issues i have. Im also a little sleep deprived. I still notice little things that when I get stressed my my first thought is straight to p. Anyway im gonna keep going. x
     
  18. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 13 and day 4 without m. Im feeling good. Starting to have a lot more motivation for my life and im creating new goals and getting rid of the old. I was having lots of urges this morning but I decided to just immerse myself in my work and now i have a lot of energy.. Definitely think not having images on the internet is great.
     
  19. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    I wanted to update: Ive been in a very low mood past few hours, i think there is a sadness deep inside that I keep hidden by keeping busy. I think it has got a little worse recently because I keep going bed to be quite late and it starts to take its toll my energy and fight against withdrawal... Anyway its turning out to be a tough day but im gonna push through despite this sadness. I dont want just hold my breath as eventually I want to breath so i know that I need to give this up in my heart everyday more and more. Hopefully by facing how I really feel rather than the avoidance behaviour ie internet, pmo, tv, food, etc
    I read this somewhere about addiction I think its pretty good.
    "
    If you feel the pressure building until you can't take it any more - you are holding your breath. If you feel calm and serene (most of the time) and don't feel like you are about to explode - you are in recovery.

    If you are holding your breath, you will eventually act out cuz you can't hold your breath forever. You will know "
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
    Bryaan and Deleted Account like this.
  20. wow this must be a powerful addiction I don't have a girl friend and it is hard to stop. does this addiction really have to do with getting a girl friend?
     
    Bryaan likes this.

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