Tired of this empty pleasure seeking

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by alameda, Mar 17, 2017.

  1. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Thanks man, I hear what youre saying and to be fair perhaps it was a little hard for me to hear (because the truth hurts) Anyway im still clean now for three days and im going to aim for 90. Youre toally right and its not like an alcoholic can wean himself off forever; but I do feel its helped taking it slowly initially. Im ready to push for 90 days no matter how hard it is... Well done for being on 23 days dude
     
  2. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 4 today.
    Triggers are when I focus on things that really matter to me and I dont feel theyre up to scratch (i can be a little unrealistic as im a bit obsessive)
    After ive had sex....
    Feeling sad or hopeless.

    Been busy today. Did lots of work. Feeling good and more motivated than ive been for a long time. New twin peaks is great
     
  3. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 5. slowly moving up the mountain. Feeling pretty lame by how much ive relapsed and how my promise has not been very good. Anyway.
    these are the triggers
    riggers are when I focus on things that really matter to me and I dont feel theyre up to scratch (i can be a little unrealistic as im a bit obsessive)
    After ive had sex....
    Feeling sad or hopeless.

    90 days come oooon. I can do this!
    Today I had a really productive day. I dont want to die...
     
  4. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

  5. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Wooo okay first week free of Pmo .. I already feel more motivated to get things done and have a lot more energy; Its nice to feel alive. Time to keep pushing on and focus on more important things.
     
  6. I will win

    I will win Fapstronaut

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    Good job! keep going, eventually we all are gonna win. I'm now on day 5, you are just more than me by one x) Anyway here are some tips that might help you: Make working out one of your priorities, try to workout in the morning everyday, watch motivational videos, they are very useful!, do not EVER be lazy in doing anything no matter how ridiculous the thing is, meditate , listen to relaxing music when you browse the internet( alpha waves, delta waves,etc..) ,always look for self-improvement quotes! and stay strong!
     
  7. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Thanks dude. Im finding just getting on with stuff im passionate about getting absorbed in it really helps. I was running once a week and that definitely lifted my mood. But recently ive simply found im not really think about P so much.
     
  8. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 8 I just watched a movie and it really exposed how strong this urge can be. I am here now because I was very very taken over by the urge. It reminds me of the helpless side of this addiction and how serious it is. Yikes. I dont want to start giving myself flowers; but im really proud that, in that vulnerable state, I decided instead to go here and realise that this is the problem. These days it seems every difficult emotion or problematic feeling I have; instead of learning something about what im feeling; I just try to avoid it. P is a big part of that escapist behaviour.
    out of the first 8 days - i wasnt really that tempted. but today I am having the urge creep up on me and very strongly. Im very tired. Ive been trying to learn a bit about the brain, as suggested in another post. I figure if I really get to understand my mind I can push through further. I know this is just going to be difficult but would help to also understand why im finding it difficult.

    Im also positive as ive found a book that i think will help, also suggested in this wonderful forum called "thrilled to death" It seems to include certain problems I have as a side effect of frying my dopamine..

    Outside of the urges. Im really happy at the moment, Im enjoying life but I just need to get this area sorted. It is definitely so hard to beat. I cant remember the last I got even to 30 days... but yes. im serious. no bullshit/ no lying to myself. this is tough and i need to be the best version of myself to even have a chance... im working on it.

    Trigger of the day
    getting the drunk the night and being sleep deprived. = vulnerable for relapse...
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2017
  9. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 9.

    Ive been reading posts on this page and i'm so inspired about how well people are doing.
    Yesterday; it was sunny and I was just working at home and getting lost in that. Im doing more around the house and being less lazy - My girlfriend is hopefully noticing some changes.
    I think for so long; I have felt like I cant face up to myself and really change my ways.. (no im not reciting a really bad version of man in the mirror by mj)
    Anyway there is so much brilliant wisdom shared on this forum and im only just starting to read through it all.

    @donjonquixote
    Thanks for the tips dude. Yeah I tried the course about 2 years ago and it did help. I really need to educate myself more - I have read some of your brain on p but I havent checked "breaking the cycle"
     
  10. TheWolverine

    TheWolverine Fapstronaut

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    Nofap is not for abstinence but quitting pmo
     
  11. alameda

    alameda Fapstronaut

    Day 18 today.

    I have more sexual interest in my girlfriend which as a consequence has improved our relationship. I havent been triggered at all recently which is good. But its early days. Ive been going through stressful relationship wise and last week I was very close to relapsing. I opened up netflix and put on some lesbian show and then I stopped myself. That annoying little teenager still in me! Anyway day 18... :)
     

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