Tired of this fucking shit and it's been for years

1. Why do you feel shy?
2. How does your ego stop you from making the plunge?

I think you give way too much importance to "your good looks" and you now have a mindset that girls cannot resist you. Therefore you are afraid of making contact, because if they say no, then your bubble of "being irresistible" will burst, and you don't want the illusion to shatter.

I would suggest you to stop believing in this. Looks might matter in a hook-up or short term relationship, but in any sensible long term relationship, looks don't carry that much weight if all the other factors are aligned.

Get ready to be rejected. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. That's how the world works. When you go buying clothes, you don't just pick the first thing you see. You try a lot of stuff. Same thing with dating. Sometimes you will find a match within first 10 tries, sometimes you'll find it after 100 tries.

Just try giving it your best shot.

 

I see. Well it's as they say... "If you never try, you will never know."

Good luck.

 

@Wilde° Good looks are only going to get you attention from woman, but if you don't know what to do with that attention is totally useless.
You totally lack confidence, you are so much afraid of rejection. You are so much worried about the outcome of the interaction that is not letting you go and talk to her.

I can only help you with this advices.
- Woman that are attracted to you are going to help you. If a woman is stearing and smiling at you she is probably attracted to you and is hoping you to go and talk to her. If you go and do that she is going to talk a lot because she likes you, she is going to put effort on keeping the conversation going and fun. So don't be afraid to go and talk to her, she is going to help you made a conversation.
- Change your mentality when you approach a woman, the idea of you going to talk to her is not to win her over, the idea is to go an talk for like 10 minutes to know if the conversation flows and she is fun to talk to. Also to know if she is really attracted to you and is ready and willing to go out with you. So, just go and talk to her. If the conversation flows naturally then you can ask for her phone number or ask her out on the spot. But if the conversation is not good, fun or full of silences.. then don't waste more time with her.. move on with your life and wait for a woman whom you can have a fun conversation with.
- Getting rejected is not the end of the world, faster you get used to it the better. Unless you are a top model or a famous actor.. most woman are probably not going to be attracted to you. If you go and talk to a woman an you get rejected or the conversation is borring don't take it personal, you are just not compatible or she is just another girl that is not into you. Don't waste time with her and wait for a woman that is naturally fun to talk to.
- Don't be afraid of humiliation. Woman are emotional beens, woman in general don't want to hurt your feelings so they are not going to reject you directy. They are going to let you know by telling you things like they have a boyfriend, or like the are not ready for dating yet, or any other excuse to not go out with you.
Just get the hint and move on.

 

Try this. Next time you see a woman checking you out, which happens frequently according to you... smile back.

That's all you have to do. Just twitch the facial muscles in an upward direction. Then go about your day. That's all you have to do.

 

Maybe you can try and do some cold approaching, on the street or in a night club? Then you will be desensitised to any approach anxiety and fear of rejection. You could look up some "PUA"-guy on Youtube, or similar, that you resonate with in order to learn some good mindsets to have to feel more confident when you're talking to girls.

Good luck!

 

You need to go SR.
Because on a long streak you build mass confident and a idgaf mentality. You go to the women and approach her without fear or rejection.

 

You just have to stop being a pussy and approach them. That's the brutal unfiltered truth, I'm not gonna sugar-coat it. Don't even wait for signs, just straight up go for the kill if you find her attractive. You may suck the first few times or make a fool out of yourself (no shame, we all have), but you'll get a lot better with practice. I'm not exactly a lady killer yet, but this is how I improved a lot - I just said fuck it and started approaching them.

 

What you experience a lot of guys experience too.

On the positive side, you recognize that your ego prevents you from having healthy relationships with women. You are not in denial. Which is really cool, you can start to let go of that little by little.

- Take care of yourself. The more you take care of yourself, the more you'll take care of others. So exercise, eat clean, meditate, spend time in nature. Just by correcting this point, you can greatly increase your well-being, decrease your mental fog and all those negative thoughts.
Well being is a cure for the ego. I am not making this up, it is scientifically proven.

- If you want to have healthy relationships, you're going to have to get over your fears at some point. What's stopping you from doing this is probably your ego. You don't want to be rejected. No one does. But getting over your fears of approaching women will allow you to express your vulnerability. This means you can lower your ego.
Because yes, you're going to get rejected, there will be times when you won't know what to say or do, or you'll feel like crap. It is this vulnerability, this fear that makes you more human. You can choose to repress it or use it to express your sensitivity and who you are.

- Instead of focusing on what you want, focus on trying to understand women. They too have their fears, their insecurities, even more than us.
We all tend to focus on our own personal desires instead of making people feel comfortable, giving sincere compliments.
Everything you give, you end up receiving one day. Instead of trying to get more, give more. Let go of your need to control and be liked by people.
Express yourself even if it's imperfect, even if you have to be rejected.

- talk to someone (therapy) ? there is no shame in that, it is even very courageous. You can solve this problem on your own with a big dose of well being. But talking to someone to open up and say what you may never have said to anyone, with someone in front of you who understands, listens and talks with you, can help.

Everything I said of course can be cultivated. If you take care of yourself, you will feel much better, so you will see things more clearly.
Then it's just a matter of gradually stepping outside your comfort zone and expressing that well being. (And being patient because it takes time )