TL;DR (I can't escape social media!)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by D X J, Dec 4, 2018.

  1. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    I'm a 14 year-old high school student and I've been addicted to porn since 12! I've always tried to severe my ties with social media, but I keep coming back. Recently, I've been indulging in unorthodox porn; social media images, namely from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Everyday, without fail, I'd set aside at least an hour to masturbate to images of my female friends and teachers. I feel so ashamed. As of now it's my school semester break. I only started this a few weeks before school break, of which I haven't met the women who I masturbate to. I'd appreciate some encouragement and advice from fellow Fapstronauts in order to curb this unlawful behaviour if that's okay with you; I want to see them respectively by January when school opens. One of those teachers has just given birth to her third child, it's sickening that I'm doing this! I've succesfully deleted my Twitter and Instagram, but not Facebook. There's a 30-day period of recovery before account deletion, and I just keep coming back. As for Twitter and Instagram, to this day I still search for unprivate images of my female friends, albeit not as regularly. I need emotional support, I'm kinda feeling depressed, and it's been months since I've felt the last wave of depression. I hate that I've dipped this low, coupled with the high expectations of many around me as I'm one of the top-performers academically in my year. Anyway, thank you if you've read this till the end, I appreciate you.
     
  2. GaryMayor

    GaryMayor Fapstronaut

    You can use additional plugin like a News feed eradicator and use Facebook to communicate, but without seeing feed. I think social media is porn substitute for you and you should use all methods to fight with it, like against regular porn.
     
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  3. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, GaryMayor, I'll try it tomorrow. Although, I don't use Facebook for communication, I do nothing with it. Thanks for replying, I really appreciate the emotional support.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  4. ras-tanura

    ras-tanura Fapstronaut

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    I want you to know that, even though you feel ashamed, I used to do that too. Even now, I'm struggling with not opening pictures of friends or 'friends you may know'. It's a good fight and we all got your back. You've already made progress by classifying this as a problem. Keep scrolling!
     
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  5. CrazyKalli

    CrazyKalli Fapstronaut

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    You are exactly in my position brother. Im currently in college and I search pictures of hot girls from my college and somehow download it to jerk off. But I completely deleted my social media somehow and didn't open it for one month. Tell some other person whom you can trust completely to change your Facebook password and delete your facebook account and also give your email to them for one month so that you don't end up recovering your Fb password. I think there are some plugins to block sites like Facebook. Use those things on your browser. Permanently delete all those stash of pics of girls , porn vids which you've already saved on your PC , mobile etc. Get back your Email account from the other guy after a month (ie deletion of ur Facebook). I know this is extremely hard but somehow I did it a month ago and I haven't used Facebook for a month now. Take tough decisions like these and you can make it.
     
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  6. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the support ras-tanura, I appreciate your support. Congratulations for your streak so far as well. Keep doing it! CrazyKalli, thanks for the advice. Although. I must admit, that's rather hard for me to do. I've only ever told my close friend about the situation, not my family. I also don't keep any of the photos I view. For now, I'll try those plugins, they're much easier to set a password to. Thank you, both of you, it really helps me emotionally.
     
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  7. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    I'm having urges right now. I read about the Chaser effect that plagues the first week of NoFap and I haven't even been through a day.

    Update: I just relapsed. Man, I'm down.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  8. ras-tanura

    ras-tanura Fapstronaut

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    It is far harder to lose hope than to fall.. try again, that is what matters!
     
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  9. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    I haven't lost hope yet, but it sure is weakening day by day. I just want my life back, but I know it doesn't come easy. Thanks for the reassurance, ras-tanura. I'll share more of my background, I wasn't addicted to porn till I was 12, but I have occasionally, purposely searched for explicit images since 10. This year, I frequently go to sleep around 12 to 2 at night, killing myself on the inside by indulging in taboo content. This somewhat impacted my usually outgoing behaviour and work productivity. Not to mention worsening my eyesight due to strain. My overall appearance and physique is worsening, I noticed this a few weeks back. I had tried NoFap back in June by exercising, it felt great, I could clearly feel improvements, both physically and mentally. But now, my overall demeanour has changed quite a bit. I'm much more solidatary, just binging YouTube in my room, alone. I've also noticed weight gain, which isn't suprising because I feel the impulse to eat every hour or so, to which I'd give in to all too easily. I don't exercise at all. I'm barely getting my schoolwork done. It's just gotten worse as a whole ever since my examinations were over. It was most likely the only thing restricting me from stooping lower due to porn and masturbation. However, since that barrier is gone now, I have more free time than ever. The last school semester break, more than half a year ago was the worst period of my life, kinda like what I'm feeling now, but worst. I got all depressed, contemplated suicide and just hated my disgusting position. I don't wanna go back there, I really don't. This forum really helps me, a lot. I like having a couple of friends to talk to, something I can't have at the moment since I'm not at school. Thanks for reading this till the end, I appreciate you.
     
  10. ras-tanura

    ras-tanura Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing this! Your body goes through major physical/emotional changes till you're 18. You're just worried it's because of PMO. Trust me, it's not. Abstaining from PMO gives you confidence and a feeling of self-worth which you need.

    For the hours past midnight, try leaving your device in another room or with someone you trust. Please don't worry. If you have ever have suicidal thoughts, tell the parent you usually share secrets with. They're just thoughts.

    My advice to you is that this is a war that needs calmness. The more you panic, the more you'll PMO. Practice being ok with falling. Good luck!
     
    D X J likes this.
  11. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, ras-tanura. Yesterday I had blocked the browser on my phone and I gave the password to a family member. However, there are a few devices lying around my house, whose owners don't like setting up a passcode to. This makes things a little more complicated. I'll follow your advice, though. I'll keep the devices somewhere else. Remeber I mentioned that homework I never got around to doing, well it was a group project, and yesterday I had to go to my teacher's office to work on it. I never once thought of watching porn or masturbating in the toilet while there, and I think it's because I enjoyed the work I was doing. It's kinda hard to explain. Also, I was scared to open up anything dirty, even though I had all the time to myself and was backed up against the a corner so no one else (2 people 15 meteres away from me) could see my screen. Apparently, both my teachers and teammates couldn't make it, so I was literally alone in there. I felt somewhat obligated to NoFap, because I had come all the way there (it's quite far), I just had to put some effort into NoFap yesterday. I guest I need to force myself to do work, since it's a way to burn time away from NoFap. But that's harder to do within the confines of my house, where there are multiple rooms, multiple unrestricted devices and multiple periods in the day where many family members of mine would be out. Thanks to anyone reading this till the end, I appreciate it. Sorry for the long posts, though. I just want to get this out of my system.

    + Since I'm going hard mode, is masturbating without reaching orgasm considered a relapse? I did that because I felt urges when I woke up this morning. I sure it's because I had abstained for 2 whole days and it's the Chaser effect kicking in. Even if it's not, I still did masturbate to certain images just a while ago. So I'm back to square one, again. Man, this is so hard! I've been doing this for over two years, but I kniw that others have done longer and eventually succeedded. But there's pressure on me, next will be my big exam, and I don't wanna flunk it due to bad habits. I won't be able to live that down.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2018
  12. I can't say that I have been in your situation before, but I would firstly go cold turkey on the social media, and then I would try to imagine every individual in those pictures as someone's daughter. Imagine having to shake their father's hand and give their mother a hug. This could potentially stand as a strong deterrent. In regards to your journey, I would suggest reading the journals of those that make progress. The key is to be a two steps forward, one step back kind of person. Even when we fall, learn from the experience and improve. Best of luck!
     
    D X J likes this.
  13. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    TL;DR (Thanks for the advice, I'll try it.)

    Thanks for the advice, Maximus Decimus Meridius! I really can't leave social media all together; my school uses the Internet for homework, a lot! So I figured I may as well use NoFap if I'm gonna use the Internet anyway. One of my goals in NoFap is to respect others, and I think your advice is useful, since I'd have to see my actions in the truth of it all. One thing that could work maybe to imagine my own family one day and someone is doing what I did. This is the first I've heard of this advice, thanks for giving it to me, Maximis Decimus Meridius. Anyone who's read till the end, I thank you and appreciate it.

    + Congratulations on your streak, Maximus Decimus Meridius, keep it up!
     
  14. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    Update: I've just gotten rid of a device that belongs to me. I have three devices that I use for programming work, so I took the time to transfer my files from that device to the main machine. As of now, I'm deactivating that device and putting it in storage. I hope this'll help my NoFap progress, and I want to update that process on NoFap throughout my journey.
     
  15. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    Before I registered here on NoFap, I never thought I'd be giving advice to others, BecomingLions. As of the few days I've been a member of NoFap, although it's still early, I've noticed that I don't do it as much. Usually it'd be around 3 times per day, but telling my story to other Fapstronauts feels real, as in I feel obligated to keeping my streak up. Once per day is actually a great improvement, so I should be grateful for making it this far at least. I haven't had suicidal thoughts since June, amd my bout of depression seems to be lifting up. It's kinda fun posting here on NoFap, and I don't know, is that weird?
     
  16. scarecrow1

    scarecrow1 Fapstronaut

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    You need to nip this behaviour in the bud. You are young and only using Facebook as a source of images but if you keep at this you will graduate onto harder stuff and before you know it have PIED.
     
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  17. D X J

    D X J Fapstronaut

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    TL;DR (Thanks, scarecrow1, I think I have PIED, but I definitely have delayed ejaculation.)

    You're right, scarecrow1. I'm definitely trying, and have two days in, which is a big deal for someone like me. I'm trying to use the advice already given to me, including staying calm, using web blockers, staying away from my devices at night and so on. Although I'm young, I've already stooped quite low, something I'm definitely not proud of. I've occasionally watched rape-themed substances and also 'zoo', although not as regularly, but still, I used to watch those things before moving on to Facebook. About PIED, well, I pretty much have it. Around this month, I've noticed that my erections during masturbation weren't as hard as they used to be. Around a week ago, it was softer than ever. It took ten minutes to get up with porn. Frequently, it takes more than an hour to reach orgasm after lots of effort. I realise now that I was actually more focused on reaching orgasm than enjoying the experience as it became increasingly harder to ejaculate. Thus, I think I may have PIED, albeit not severe, but mild, and I definitely have delayed ejaculation.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2018
  18. yyz33

    yyz33 Fapstronaut

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    I recommend using the pluckeye extension to start your streak. It will block all images and videos from the internet for however long you want.
     

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