To all the guys feeling lonely

Then why the hell did you stop?!

Thanks for posting this, I really believe this is the right mindset. It took me a breakup and losing my job to realize that the key was not in expecting others to make me feel I had value as a person, but rather in being comfortable with myself, which comes down to having a few values and principles to live by, a desire to grow and expand into the world, and action in the form of habits and trying new things. And a lot of compassion as well. There can be no happiness without forgiveness.

 

I hear it for the first time and it'b briliant to me !

 

What I learned from the buddhas teaching was, to learn not to take refuge in anyone or anything other than yourself. Im still meditating everyday, but I have only been meditating for about 3 months. Ive been a loner all my life, and trust me I can relate. When I used to be so alone, and I would want to make friends (even the bad type of friends, at one point of time in my life), and whenever i did "make friends" I just wanted to be alone, and not around them, lifes a doozy through my perspective. I now know its because of my Depression, everybody has their own form of demons, i dont care who you are, you have them, nobodys perfect. Anyway meditation has helped immensely as well as NOFAP, you see you need a variety of "good lifestyle choices" to see through the "film" of "suffering" that is "life" and meditation is a good way to clear/control the "film" for over extended periods of time. You never think about being alone once meditation has you at the point of TRUELY living in the moment. So the moral of the story is dont look at your loneliness as a bad thing.

 

Try the Headspace app, great for beginners

 

Nice post

 

I find myself finding my worth in what others think of me. I used to be really bad about it, and I felt like I almost NEEDED to have a girlfriend at all times. I did everything to make my girlfriends happy, so that they would love me for what I did. A couple of days ago some high school girl at a sporting event asked if I had a girlfriend, and I told her, "No. I don't." She told me that she felt sorry for me. I told her not to. That's when it hit me. After going through all of high school and college, getting my heart broken by every real girlfriend I ever had, I am finally able to recognize something important. I'm happier (maybe content is a better word) now, single and not looking, than I ever was with a girlfriend.

 

I like how you see things, and with staying away from PMO as well as with the help of regular meditation practice, you´ll see things clearer and clearer, as beautiful or painful they are.
I would have liked to reach that point at your age, but for some reasons I couldn´t discipline myself to do so and so I lost much precious time........
Your post is one of the many motivators for me here to stick to my goal this (last) time, to further engage in meditation, to feel deep into all those vast spaces of loneliness, boredom, insecurity etc.
keep going on !

 

Thanks for your nice words! That's is something easiest to know than to practice, but having this mindset about a huge problem like loneliness is putting ourselves on halfway of the process of self improvement and growth in life. I have this same issues about feeling lonely, and is very refreshing to view that problem from another perspective, that not establishes us as mere victims or poor guys suffering from external factors. My mind is, at the same time, the biggest ally and enemy I have. We all have to learn how to better construct and feed that ambiguous machinery. Keep up the nice work!

 

Loneliness is part of the fading withdrawals. Feeling lonely is actually ignoring the freedom, possibilities and ease you have.

 

For me, having a girlfriend or being in a relationship, shouldn't be the reason for one to be happy. I had a relationship and I didn't feel any different, sure having sex is great, but now 10 months after the break up I'm happy and I don't feel lonely or a need to be in a relationship.