To be free from porn you need to watch porn (in a different way)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ultrafabber, Jun 7, 2019.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    If you time-traveled and showed a caveman a video of a saber tooth tiger charging him, he would get absolutely mortified and hit the screen with a club or run away. That's because he can't discern reality from fiction. That's the same reason he will get sexually aroused to a naked and sexually inviting woman on a screen. Same thing with monkeys.

    That however does not make it normal - the caveman, the monkey or the porn addict all have poor reality testing. They process something incorrectly - there is no predator attacking them and there is no sexual available woman next to them.

    I've explained this in more detail in this topic https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-you-get-aroused-by-women-on-a-screen.241099/

    There is no other way to handle a trigger than to confront it (gradually and systematically).

    You won't be wasting time, you will be working to be free of porn addiction and this takes a couple of minutes per day anyway.

    That's why you don't expose yourself to porn in the acute stage in the first place, which is something i mentioned in the OP. It's all very gradual and it also includes a period of abstinence only, which is also something i discussed in the OP. The abstinence period does not need to be that long as you're suggesting.

    Exactly, that's why exposure to trigger is a must, like i said, abstinence only does not help you acquire any skill in resisting a trigger.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  2. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    All I'm saying, you can only try resisting a trigger after certain abstinence period. If you'd shown me porn 7 months back, said look at it as LCD pixels changing colors instead of women and left a room, I'd be PMOing the moment I'd lock the door. 7 months later I can see explicit material and not care about it. That's because of abstinence and new stress coping skills developed during this period. You can't expose chronic drug user to his drug of choice and expect that he/she'll be able to rationalize his/her behavior. It's mission impossible. It's not how our brains function. Mid-Brain does not think. It's hard-wired, impulse driven, survival mode outside of rational reach. You need "sent" PMO neuropathway to dormant state first, before you can analyze and rationalize it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  3. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    And I agree, it's just that the abstinence period does not need to be that long, especially because people relapse a lot.

    Except I am not suggesting a person should jump into porn immediately, there are other steps i've described that don't show any explicit material (opening and closing incognito window, typing the preferred porn site or actress and then closing the window, watching the logo of that site etc).

    What the OP describes is the endgame (watching porn without getting aroused) and the fundamentals about it. I'm not telling Jimmy, who just relapsed yesterday, to go watch porn.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  4. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Abstinence period is defined by physiological factors. 6-11 months is not some magical number, it's actual time needed to regrowth addicts shrunken prefrontal cortex, so he can start taking his self control back... -> https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0059645
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...eeks-of-abstinence-to-cure-your-brain.233726/
     
  5. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I am aware of those, it's just that they don't apply in this case, those were not part of cue-exposure therapy.

    If cue-exposure therapy (CET) worked on 2 week (minimum) abstinent opiate users it definitely works on other addictions including pmo addiction.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17230050 Cue exposure therapy for the treatment of opiate addiction: results of a randomized controlled clinical trial.

    The CET group showed a significant decrease in physiological reactivity (skin conductance) - this is a very powerful and reliable physiological test.

    I can provide the full study in pm for you or anyone else interested.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
  6. backtolife42

    backtolife42 Fapstronaut

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    Havent read all answers yet, but i think there are some usefull ideas to this excercice.
    Ill try to compare it to an alcoholic: the idea is that instead of avoiding every situation where you could come in contact with alcohol (which is pretty much impossible in our culture), you teach yourself to be able to hold a beer in your hand without drinking from it, to be around people who drink without participating in the act of drinking. I think watching porn on splitscreen all the time is definetely going to far, but the idea of exposing yourself to it in small doses and do excercices that help you deal with triggers could be helpful.
    So opening and closing a porn tab to break the habit of starting to binge once you see something arousing might actually be helpful. I might try this just to see whether or not there is something to it.
     

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