FrenchOliver
Fapstronaut
You relapse because you fail to identify your REAL enemy which is unbalance between pleasant and useful.
Pleasant is opposed to useful.
Let's have a look to the recovery diagram to any addiction. As you can see relapse and lapse are part of the process. (relapse is pmo like you used to, lapse is pmo just a few times or less than you used to).
The reason, relapse and lapse are impossible to avoid is because your pmo addiction is NOT the enemy, this is just the manifestaion of something deeper, which is pleasant.
The reality is you let too many pleasant things in your life compare to the numbers of useful things in your life, so your life became unbalanced.
The recovery diagram from above works only if you add more useful thing to your life (to your ritual).
So if you fully understand what I just told you, you will understand the WHY behind all those advices that you can read here in this forum:
Imagine that you are a balloon. The balloon is attached to earth with useful. The wind is pleasant. If there is not enough useful things and too many pleasant things, the balloon will eventually fly away. And because the wind will keep blowing and making the balloon fly away, it will lose contact with earth (just real life) and it will live in the far away from earth (pleasant world) which has no end.
You need to REBALANCE your life in order to keep your balloon attach to earth. Adding more useful things to your life will help you to MODERATE your pleasant things. Losing moderation on pleasant things lead to addiction.
It won't happen overnight, give yourself time. If you lapse or even relapse, don't feel terrible, it is ok as long as you keep adding useful stuff to your life. The addiction will decreased naturally.
Adding useful stuff to your routine is THE REAL FIGHT you should focus on. A no pmo streak is secondary.
BONUS 1: Start today just by asking this question before any action you take: What makes this action useful ? or is it only pleasant ? And everytime it is only pleasant, it is a bad and you should think about a way of reducing it.
BONUS 2: Don't believe personal development coaches, they just want to make money. You are supposed to develop, it is nature, if you don't, it is beacause something (for us pmo) poison your brain so it fails to develop. Get rid of the poison, add more useful things to your daily routine and you will see, you will develop, grow and find solutions by yourself cause it is just NATURE.
Pleasant is opposed to useful.
Let's have a look to the recovery diagram to any addiction. As you can see relapse and lapse are part of the process. (relapse is pmo like you used to, lapse is pmo just a few times or less than you used to).
The reason, relapse and lapse are impossible to avoid is because your pmo addiction is NOT the enemy, this is just the manifestaion of something deeper, which is pleasant.
The reality is you let too many pleasant things in your life compare to the numbers of useful things in your life, so your life became unbalanced.
The recovery diagram from above works only if you add more useful thing to your life (to your ritual).
So if you fully understand what I just told you, you will understand the WHY behind all those advices that you can read here in this forum:
- go to gym: useful for the body
- read: useful for the mind
- meditate: useful to clear your mind and avoid stress
- have a walk in a park: useful for your body and it has been proven that natural surrounding refuel the body
- go out with friends or subscribe to an social activity: useful for your social development
- stop social media: just pleasnt thing, nothing useful
- stop pmo: just pleasnt thing, nothing useful
- stop video games unless you want to be pro gamer: just pleasnt thing, nothing useful
- etc
Imagine that you are a balloon. The balloon is attached to earth with useful. The wind is pleasant. If there is not enough useful things and too many pleasant things, the balloon will eventually fly away. And because the wind will keep blowing and making the balloon fly away, it will lose contact with earth (just real life) and it will live in the far away from earth (pleasant world) which has no end.
You need to REBALANCE your life in order to keep your balloon attach to earth. Adding more useful things to your life will help you to MODERATE your pleasant things. Losing moderation on pleasant things lead to addiction.
It won't happen overnight, give yourself time. If you lapse or even relapse, don't feel terrible, it is ok as long as you keep adding useful stuff to your life. The addiction will decreased naturally.
Adding useful stuff to your routine is THE REAL FIGHT you should focus on. A no pmo streak is secondary.
BONUS 1: Start today just by asking this question before any action you take: What makes this action useful ? or is it only pleasant ? And everytime it is only pleasant, it is a bad and you should think about a way of reducing it.
BONUS 2: Don't believe personal development coaches, they just want to make money. You are supposed to develop, it is nature, if you don't, it is beacause something (for us pmo) poison your brain so it fails to develop. Get rid of the poison, add more useful things to your daily routine and you will see, you will develop, grow and find solutions by yourself cause it is just NATURE.