To have children, or not, or later?

Probably not easy, but I would guess easier now than ever during the last 50 years or so. Young people are having much less sex now compared to in the past. And with the pandemic, people have been even more isolated than usual.

 

Question, out of curiosity: are you a virgin?

 

As a matter of fact I am. I am preserving myself for the right girl.

 

Good

 

Based. Wish I could claim the same thing. Well done

 

Plenty of women value a man's virginity. Women of God who want to save sex for marriage absolutely would want their husband to do the same, to experience that for the first time together. Stop demonizing all women just because the world is shit. Plenty of men in the world are shit too, but I don't go around claiming that men are pigs because some men suck.

 

Not true. I did not want a man who had slept with anyone.

 

I know statements like this are meant to be a compliment or something, but I really dislike this kind of response. It's basically just the "you're not like other girls" thing, and that's so problematic. I am, actually, very much like tons of other girls. I'm not some special, unique little unicorn. I'm just a woman. There are plenty of others out there like me.

It's just honestly a little insulting to compliment a woman by putting all other women down. That's not flattering to me. And if this was the first time you had said something like this, then maybe I wouldn't have even said anything, but it's far from being the first time that you've said negative things about women and how they're all a certain way these days and you can't possibly find a good one, etc. So it's quite annoying when I am trying to dispel a lie (that women, in general, don't respect male virgins), and another woman here agrees with me, and you somehow still make it out to be like we are the only two good women on the planet and the premise is still true, we are just the shining star exceptions.

We aren't unicorns or outrageous exceptions. We are representative of many, many other women in the world.

 

I have never met a woman who's given me crap for being a virgin, and while some were unwilling to wait until marriage, it was not all of them or even most of them.

There is a very despairing attitude in these threads by men and really it's fueled by the fantasy that your fears represent the fact of the matter. Challenge the fantasy and stop letting it snuff-out hope in your life.

 

That entire quote just says that men value virginity MORE than women do, on average. That's not what you said...

You said "women don't value a man's virginity, they actually laugh at it."

But if you want to change the goal post now and change your claim to "men, on average, value virginity in a partner more than women do, on average," I would say that might be true.

But then I would ask this: is it helpful? Not everything that is true is helpful. If someone tells me they are about to have a baby, should I quote them all the statistics that say how hard it is to have a baby? How much stress it puts on a marriage? How little sleep you will get? Oh, what about how many women die in childbirth?

Of course not. Those studies might be true, but how it is helpful for people to fixate on negativity all the time? You seem to do that a lot around here, especially when it comes to dating advice. All it does is drag people down and make them feel hopeless and like why bother trying, which is not helpful at all. There are plenty of good reasons to bother trying, just like there are plenty of good reasons to have a baby. Fixating on all the things that could possibly go wrong is a very foolish way to live.