To, i hope, a better life without PMO

T

Tony tod

New Fapstronaut
Hi everybody,

My name is Tony Tod, just Tod is fine, i'm 25 years old. I never thought being here and write this thread on a forum that i just discover but i think it's how it's work and the first step for some improvement in my life.
For my background, i'm 25 years old, engineer and living in France.

PMO is something i just heard about not so ling time ago and that i find interesting and think it could help me.
I'm not here for hiding things so i gonna go straight forward, i join this forum to find some people who adopt this style of life and who are nice enough to support people like me in this transition.
For a long time i dated some girls who were not especially good looking but who like making love, but even all their were doing to me, i couldnt get hard. I was hiding my problems behind the fact that if i couldnt get hard was because those girls (amazingly nice girls) were not enough attractive to me and then to get confident back i was going watch porn and get a hard one.
Now, my change life, i'm in a relationship with the most amazing girl i ever meet, she nice, good looking, honest, fun and every all good qualificatifs that we could find for describe the one who LOVE. But even if she is all i want, i cant get hard, so i started wondering if the problem was me and i think the answer is obvious, YES IT'S ME !

My motivation with this change for life style is to fight my ED (Erectile Dysfunction) to finally be able to show (sexually speaking) my love to my girlfriend who feel that i have any desire to her even if i'm totally in love with her.

I'm now at the end of my first week, i dont feel and changement yet but i gave me some time to workout, which is a first step.

I will try to keep this post update.

Feel free to comment, ask questions or just talk with me.

~ Tod
 
Tony tod said:
Hi everybody,

My name is Tony Tod, just Tod is fine, i'm 25 years old. I never thought being here and write this thread on a forum that i just discover but i think it's how it's work and the first step for some improvement in my life.
For my background, i'm 25 years old, engineer and living in France.

PMO is something i just heard about not so ling time ago and that i find interesting and think it could help me.
I'm not here for hiding things so i gonna go straight forward, i join this forum to find some people who adopt this style of life and who are nice enough to support people like me in this transition.
For a long time i dated some girls who were not especially good looking but who like making love, but even all their were doing to me, i couldnt get hard. I was hiding my problems behind the fact that if i couldnt get hard was because those girls (amazingly nice girls) were not enough attractive to me and then to get confident back i was going watch porn and get a hard one.
Now, my change life, i'm in a relationship with the most amazing girl i ever meet, she nice, good looking, honest, fun and every all good qualificatifs that we could find for describe the one who LOVE. But even if she is all i want, i cant get hard, so i started wondering if the problem was me and i think the answer is obvious, YES IT'S ME !

My motivation with this change for life style is to fight my ED (Erectile Dysfunction) to finally be able to show (sexually speaking) my love to my girlfriend who feel that i have any desire to her even if i'm totally in love with her.

I'm now at the end of my first week, i dont feel and changement yet but i gave me some time to workout, which is a first step.

I will try to keep this post update.

Feel free to comment, ask questions or just talk with me.

~ Tod
Click to expand...
Hi. Welcome to forum!

Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
 
Hi everybody,

Today i update my profile with unfortunately a sad news, i relapsed yesterday, it was a very bad and rough day at work and when i come back i get so bored that my bad behavior that i fought for this last 19 days come back and i relapsed :( .
This is not the end of my journey just a fall starting a new beginning on this journey of good health being.
I wish you all a lot of courage and we keep going !
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top