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To share or not to share? - an interview with my wife

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Aryangor, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. Hey, all!

    As many of you know, it is extremely difficult to talk about the PMO addiction to anyone - especially to those you love. You have been hurt so much by this garbage and you do not want to hurt your beloved SO even further. After all, you re there to protect them and to take care of them, right?

    Well, what if not talking to them about it hurts them even more? What if women do not think like men - in terms of protection and prevention - but rather like women - in terms of connection and processing?

    I have given my wife a very challenging set of questions - call it a written interview, if you wish. She was extremely brave and supportive to open up to these and to share her experiences and opinions on the matter of sharing vs concealing.

    Find the link to her thread below. Feel free to comment, praise and ask questions!

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...questions-on-porn-with-honest-answers.194289/

    P.S.: She is awesome! <3
     
    NF4L likes this.
  2. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing these with us. I can say the pillars of addiction are secrecy, lies, guilt, and shame. They all build on each other. Once you start whittling away at each of them, the rest will fall away.
    It becomes easier to talk about to our all our loved ones eventually, but it takes tearing down those pillars of addiction to get to the point of acceptance. Then it really has little hold on you, the PA.
     
  3. Thanks for the feedback! :) It also helps to see that addiction is something acquired and is not originally part of who you are - this revelation minimizes shame which pushes us all towards secrecy. And also we must not think that we are a hopeless and a lost case - just the fact that we are here, searching, thinking, reading, wondering, trying - all this is a symbol of hope!
     

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