TOP TIPS FOR NEWBIES!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by iaj, Nov 20, 2017.

  1. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    This post is contradictory. I'm rebooting after a relapse. In 2015 I went 1.5 years without fapping and it was easily one of the best years of my life. I write this from experience and it's equally for your benefit as well as mine:

    Some top tips for newbies (in no particular order)!

    BLOCK PORN
    It's an obvious one but getting your home internet provider AND phone network to 'shield' adult content really does help make it difficult to access porn. (I never tried installing software to block porn on my web browser or phone but) I recommend going to the source - it's a lot trickier to undo a restriction like this, which can help you during your small urges.

    REPLACE PORN WITH NETFLIX
    You never intend to watch porn for hours, but time flies when scrolling and clicking through thumbnails. So why not treat yourself to a cool Netflix series instead? This is a great replacement. I remember FINALLY watching the Sopranos box-set which was on the 'to-watch' list for years. Quitting porn offered me more time to watch Film/TV instead. At last, I was catching up on all the recommendations from friends.
    WARNING: Avoid something sexy like True Blood or Game of Thrones.

    MAKE A LIST

    I'm not talking about Film/TV shows (above), I'm talking about all the things you've needed to do. Chores, errands etc. I kept a list of things I needed to do around the house. Of course, watching porn will be more appealing than putting up a new curtain but the relief you get from ticking things off from a long overdue list is rewarding. Eventually you start seeing results around the house of how things are changing. This perception will really help you as you start to see your environment change around you and it can be quite empowering. The more you do, the more you'll see change. Put your hands to good use.

    EXERCISE

    You've probably heard "porn zaps your energy" right? Whether you heard this or know this from experience, start exercising. Because if you relapse and then try to workout again, you'll feel weaker. In fact, you'll probably feel reluctant from laziness. But when you build up momentum again, you'll realise that having more testosterone is what makes you feel like a man. Exercise doesn't have to be a cliché - you don't have to go running or push weights at the gym. Find anything that's active that you enjoy and do it often. You'll sleep better too which will help avoid those late nights that lead to nothingness.

    KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS

    What is it that triggers your urges? Is it loneliness? Is it boredom? Too much free time? Start becoming aware of these things - whatever they are and try to avoid those situations. As you refrain from masturbating, you'll commit more to other things. I started saying yes to more social events which means I was less lonely and more engaged.

    GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

    One common benefit of nofap is reduction in social anxiety. So if that's the end goal then why keep yourself indoors? Work towards that target now. Getting out of the house doesn't have to mean "go party", it can mean anything you want. Go to your friend's house, go for a walk, go do something interesting that's on your to-do list. Just get out because it's unlikely you're going to fap in the street! (If you are fapping in public then I can't help you, but I'm sure someone on here can).

    [​IMG]


    "FENG SHUI"

    Rearrange your room. I've only done this recently for my reboot but this is a great tip I discovered online. Your mind associates your environment to your habits. So trick your mind to thinking it's elsewhere. Shuffle things around in your bedroom (assuming that's where you fap?) then you'll see a different environment which will create a different feeling.

    REMOVE TECH' BEFORE BED

    Lock your laptop away and charge your phone/tablet far away from you at night. The only thing by your bedside should be a bottle of water, a lamp and a book!

    READ

    I'm not a fan of reading and if you aren't either, try an audiobook. If you do like to read then keep a book by your bedside. Make this a new habit near bedtime. Start with an inspiring self-help book OR an auto-biography. Read about a successful person or story because that's who you want to be. No one aspired to be a full-time jerk when they were a kid.

    STOP SEXTING
    If you've been fortunate enough to have someone in your phone book that you can regularly have dirty chats with, then guess what - they're a part of the problem too. If you lean on them as you withdraw from porn, you'll only end up fapping or looking at porn again. Cut out these meaningless relationships. It will be the hardest thing to do but the most affirming. Saying no is a part of saying yes.


    MEDITATE

    This list is in no particular order, but if it was, meditation would be at the top. Your mind is wired to its habits and to observe those habits or disconnect from them, you can meditate. As your thoughts and urges weaken, you start to re-programme your mind. Slowly but surely, you can change your choices and reactions. There are so many opportunities to learn meditation nowadays. The only catch thing is, you mostly do it alone. Pick a spot in your house that you can go to meditate and this will help develop a solid practise and escape from porn.

    REWARD YOURSELF

    Think about rewarding yourself after certain milestones. Your 1st week or month, after 6 months, then 1 year later etc. This is where I went wrong. I got to 1 year and I thought to myself: "What now? I've done it! I've proved to myself that I can do it." A few more months went by and I decided to reward myself with porn. Guess what? One stroke wasn't enough and I binged. Then it quickly became a habit again. My mind rewired itself to its old programme. All that hard work disappeared and I now I'm back to facing the uphill struggle.

    The longer you go without, the easier it gets. Like fitness; the fitter you are the longer you can train for. So you must not forget how hard it was in the beginning, because if you do, you'll treat yourself to a cheeky fap.
    Instead, reward yourself with different things. Buy yourself something nice! Anything but porn. Start rewarding yourself because you deserve it.

    My other posts...

    WHY I'M GLAD I RELAPSED: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/why-im-glad-i-relapsed.151499/#post-1253269

    REAL, GENUINE BENEFITS: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...benefits-ive-experienced.148708/#post-1225891

    HOW TO GET YOUR TIME BACK: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-to-get-your-time-back.150269/#post-1239527

    360 VIRTUAL REALITY PORN: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/360-virtual-reality-porn.142536/

    ROUGH PORN: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/rough-porn.142538/#post-1153459

    HOW I GOT ADDICTED TO PORN: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...o-hardcore-how-i-got-addicted-to-porn.137066/

    HOW HABITS WORK: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-habits-work.149202/

    THE PROBLEM WITH NOFAP: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...benefits-ive-experienced.148708/#post-1225891
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2018
    kaamos, Theking123, Donijuan and 9 others like this.
  2. Hey @iaj ,

    Thanks for that. Great list!

    L
     
  3. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    I'm glad you like it! Thanks for letting me know
     
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  4. Alfarfa90

    Alfarfa90 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a lot for all the info.
    I'm just stared today and is good to read some tips from experienced people.
    Thank you so much!!
     
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  5. @Alfarfa90 ,

    Welcome on your first day. Glad you are here.

    L
     
  6. Got to agree with @StopTheMusic, this was a really great list. I might just find some inspiration from it :)
     
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  7. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    Hey, you're welcome - we're all in the same boat! So I'm happy to help.
     
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  8. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    76 days! Keep going - if there are any nuggets in my list that help, then I'm glad I shared.
     
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  9. sakeen

    sakeen Fapstronaut

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    Great tips! Going outside the house was the most important one for me when I had my 55 day streak. That and not having my smartphone near me (would leave it outside my room at all times)
     
  10. Definitely the thing about getting out more and reading. That has been two of my obstacles, but mostly getting out; because of my social anxiety!
     
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  11. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    Outside your room? Respect! I didn't even think of that.
     
  12. Fiona

    Fiona Fapstronaut

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    Very clear and helpfull! great list :)
     
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  13. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    Thank you
     
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  14. Brice

    Brice New Fapstronaut

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    A really useful tip: put a band-aid around your penis, change it every day.
    As with other tips, it only works if you're strong willed but, that said, it has two distinct advantages:
    - it makes your cock less sensitive and M less pleasureable;
    - it's a reminder of the commitment you made to yourself.
    Just try!
     
    iaj likes this.
  15. It is sad but this is so true !

    After reaching to 90 days, I went back here to report on my success - only to relapse shortly after.
    I somehow thought I had made it and lowered my defenses.
    This is about 2 years from now and I never made it that far again (although I have been close several times).

    It is really motivating to see that you made it for so long. Thank you for sharing your tips. I agree on all of them.
     
  16. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

  17. Donijuan

    Donijuan Fapstronaut

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    Almost done all of your list, what i want to know is How do you define porn?
    My longest streak was 70 days and i've never open pornsite for 3 months now, but i got triggered by hot girl in real life that i've met and fantasize her or random hot girl in instagram. is that porn too? or subconciously i replace my habit of not opening pornsite to watch hot girl on ig or instagram?
     
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  18. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    Correct! That’s not porn but that’s a trigger. As long as the next thing you watch is not explicit, I suppose it’s a natural progression towards quitting. Like a drinker in recovery sipping non-alcoholic beer. Thank you for following the list and giving it a try. I’m glad it helped.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2020
    Donijuan likes this.
  19. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I've struggled with that same questions a lot but no one seems to answer it. Anyway, this is how I deal with it. You have to avoid any kind of sexy content e.g. IG, short videos whatever. Basically anything that's not real life. We are trying to fix a dopamine addiction. And we've gotten to such a bad place that our systems are wired incorrectly. If you look at those pics you get a dopamine rush and that doesn't hell change the situation. You'll usually feel your heart beat faster etc. So simple answer, just avoid both thoughts and urges to watch or look. I've found counting to 5 while visualising the figures or punting out loud repeatedly helps to clear the mind. But with the urge to peek at videos or pictures just stay away from tech until the urges start to reduce in intensity.


     
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  20. iaj

    iaj Fapstronaut
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    Definitely! Reducing or avoiding social media completely is a strong step in the right direction. For example- even an innocent search on YouTube can land you a bikini thumbnail. If the rush of excitement is the same then ‘the substance’ (porn) isn’t the problem anymore. It’s the reaction. First you fight porn. Then you fight the reaction. It’s a long battle but it’s worth it
     

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