Transsexual Porn Addiction

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Ginseng12, Aug 12, 2019.

  1. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    You are so correct! the stress will kill you before the HIV.
     
  2. Taksen

    Taksen Fapstronaut

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    Totally relate to this. Transsexual porn actually became the norm for me, and when that no longer gave me the same rush, I moved on to chatting to guys online sexually about chicks or doing stuff with them and then PMO. I consider myself totally straight as well! I was quickly getting PIED because I couldn’t get off to anything a heterosexual man should be able to. It was getting ridiculous and it’s good you’re trying to tackle this now.

    I’m very early on in my recovery but I really hope some of the stuff I did hasn’t rewired me, it’s not me or who I recognise myself as, and it’s a horrible feeling to carry of guilt and shame.
     
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  3. Vendettana

    Vendettana Fapstronaut

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    100% same experience here. After five months of no PMO, it these interests are all gone. It took some time, and I did not fight it. Give you some time, and stick to the cure, don't relapse, you will see.
     
    Taksen likes this.
  4. When it comes to "trannys" and "shemales" I think it is very useful to look at the Itsafetish subreddit for a more general sociological perspective on the madness of it all. These good people are what are called TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) but it's so instructive how they align with us ideologically, especially with regards to the meanace of porn addiction. Basically they ascribe the trans phenomenon to the prevalence of porn addiction in wider society. Trannys represent the end-game of porn addiction because they have chosen to make their fetish a life-style.
     
  5. rsv

    rsv New Fapstronaut

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    GOD's with you! good luck!
     
  6. Do you guys this will work with incest fetish too? I can only get off to videos of women who look like my mom and i get this huge rush from it.... after climax I feel ashamed and disgusted every time. Vanilla porn is just boring now.
     
  7. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    @Ginseng12 I am sorry that porn has caused this much stress for you. Understand that all the feelings from porn, masturbation, and anything else you've done can be reversed. Your brain has no permanent markings, although it will take work to change. I'll link some articles from Your Brain on Porn (YBOP), which I think are relevant to your situation.

    I’m straight, but attracted to transsexual or gay porn (or gay attracted to straight porn). What’s up?
    Is my fetish porn-induced?
    Does porn addiction cause irreversible damage to the brain?
    Does it help to view porn use as immoral?
    What does withdrawal from porn addiction look like?
    Is porn making my social anxiety/confidence/depression/anxiety/OCD/bipolar worse?
    I quit using porn and now I feel worse. Is this normal?
    How do I cope with porn flashbacks?
    I relapsed or am in danger of relapse. (Emergency Measures)
    What do I do when I have too much sexual energy?

    Some things I just want to remind you of:
    1. Being attracted to transsexuals, or anyone else not strictly defined as male or female, is totally fine. You're not a bad person. People who truly like transsexuals are totally normal. Transsexuals are totally normal. You and them are both people who crave love, affection, and sex. Don't demonize them or yourself (check out the article about "immoral porn"). You're both human beings, who deserve love and respect. If you really are attracted to transsexuals, it's your duty to treat and love them as humans, and not sexual objects. However, the more likely case is...

    2. It's not even more likely, it's almost certain: Your sexual attraction has been induced by porn, which is why you feel so stressed, anxious, and guilty when finding pleasure from trans porn or trans people themselves. I would advise you to do a 90 day hard-mode reboot, and follow that with consistent sex for 2-3 months with cis-women. At that point, examine your desire for trans women. If you still feel aroused by them, and would also enjoy dating, kissing, cuddling, etc. with them, then I would pursue a romantic relationship. Odds are you won't though aha. Especially since you actually enjoyed sex that one time with a cis-woman, it is almost 100% certain that cis women are your preferred partners. SO do the reboot with an open attitude for finding yourself and your desires. I know this works because...

    3. I was in a very similar situation to you. About 1.5 years ago, I knew I was bisexual, and I knew that changing my gender, through lifestyle and surgery, was the right path for me. I stumbled into NoFap though, did the 90 day reboot, had some sex, and then reexamined myself. My mind was so clouded from porn, I was completely wrong about everything sex related in my life. I am a man. I like women. I still get urges for transsexual porn and other things, but I know it's from the porn, so I just ignore it. After the reboot, I have become very good at identifying what is a porn urge and what is a sexual desire. For me, sexual desire is localized, real, and specific (damn that girl down the hall looks great in those shorts, I wanna give her a hickey on her butt), while porn urges are more generalized, related to completely imagined situations, and include masturbation (a thought about an imagined trans women having sex, I want some trans girl to be waiting in my bed for me when I get home, I wanna splooge to dick-girl pics). So believe me man, you're not alone. Use the tools from YBOP to find out who you are, who you like, and what you wanna do.

    I saw something you said about not being able to control your body, and that just isn't true. You can't control the urges your brain makes you feel, and you can't stop yourself from doing things like sweating, or pumping blood. But you can control your actions. You can choose to see prostitutes, or not. You can choose to masturbate, or not. All of this is in your control, no matter how bad it seems. Everyone has it rough. When I did my first reboot, there was one day where I literally hallucinating about dick-girls for about 3 hours. Absolutely could not get them off my mind. This is just a sign that the reboot is working, and is killing the parts of your brain that are attracted to the porn.

    So don't give up on yourself. You can do this, just like so many people
     
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  8. Taksen

    Taksen Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this post man, definitely helps me a lot. A lot of good points and material in there - much appreciated!
     
  9. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Very good post!
    I am so sure you are helping so many people now with what you have written, I am one of them.

    I have a question to you. I would really appreciate your help and advise.

    Am I in denial or do I have a porn addiction problem? Or maybe I am bisexual?
    I am now 60 days porn free and I have always found women attractive, I love them, I want to have a family and I can see myself having wife and kids in the future. I want to share my life with a women and I can see me having a girlfriend and having a day to day life with her.

    However, I am very attractive to trans women too. But when I in the past have had a date with a trans girl I always think/wonder , why am I embarrassed what other people will think? . I like to be with trans girls, I found them interesting and loving human beings but honestly it just feels wrong and right at the same time.

    In the past when my addiction to porn escalated to a sex addiction. I started to buy trans escort girls and that was a very dark time. I was all about my fantasies and lust. However, during this dark period I never bought a female escort girl.

    What do you think? Any suggestions or advise?

    Thanks in advance!


     
  10. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Hello friend.

    First off, I cannot tell you who you are or who you are attracted to. You have to figure that out yourself. The best time to do that is after a reboot and rewire.

    After your reboot, I would recommend having consistent sex and a relationship with a cis woman, since you are sure desire a sexual and romantic relationship with them. Get your sexual, romantic, and social life in a good place, and then examine your sexual and romantic desires.

    I don't know very much about you, but from what I have read, I think the "thrill" and "riskiness" of being with a trans woman is driving your desire for them. Besides the genitalia, trans woman on average are just as attractive as cis women. Same faces, same asses, same bodies. I understand that part of your attraction. However, you saying being with a trans woman "feels wrong and right at the same time" makes me think that you aren't attracted to those women, but the idea of a trans woman in general. You think that it's wrong for either women to have penises, or it's wrong to have sex with women with penises. Neither are great worldviews, even if they've been induced by porn. I'm sure you think trans women are great and funny and nice, but I feel like this is driven by the "taboo" of a being with a girl with a penis.

    Since you also only paid for sex with trans women, this makes it seem more likely that you are aroused by just the thrill and riskiness of the sex and relationship, and not the person. People who pay for sex tend to think of sex and partners more like products, non-human, and essentially objects. The fact that you paid for sex with trans women and not cis women makes me believe that you value cis women as people, but you value trans woman more as objects.

    Therefore, I would recommend that until any hint of porn is still in your mind (2-3 years no porn with consistent sex), you do not pursue any type of sexual relationship with a trans woman.

    I just read that back to myself man, and that was kinda harsh. Sorry bro :( . This is just my guess, but you shouldn't feel bad about objectifying trans women because of the thrill and risqueness; everyone on this site, especially me, have huge objectification problems with sex. For many, including myself, we have heavily objectified ourselves.

    This was all caused by porn though, so if you do a reboot and rewire with a cis woman, eventually you'll be okay to have a relationship with a trans woman. Definitely do not go to prostitutes though lol. If I were you, I would not seek out trans woman. Just go out, meet women, date em, and fuck if they want. If you happen to date a trans woman, and she wants to have sex, and you're still interested in that desire, go ahead and try it out. I don't think I would do that (I just really don't like penises on other people, think it would gross me out), but if you're comfortable and curious, you totally should try it out.

    I hope this wasn't too harsh bro, because you do have respect and care for members of the LGBTQ community, which is not common on this site. I think after a reboot and rewire, some soul-searching needs to be done on your part. Again, I don't know you or your desires. With the given tools, I think you can truly figure them out.

    Check out these articles from YBOP for some more info. They are very scientific, and have hard data and research:
    Evolution has not prepared your brain for today’s porn
    Porn FAQs
    I’m straight, but attracted to transsexual or gay porn (or gay attracted to straight porn). What’s up?
     
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  11. Onwards90

    Onwards90 Fapstronaut

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    Well I've just failed NoFap after 3 days , have a bit of an addiction to this porn type , I used to watch regular porn and nothing but it .

    And it was literally all I needed porn wise , somewhere along the line my brain got bored and it gave me pied , from where I would need to stop porn for months to get the same stimulation . But in reality it's going to take a long time to stop it and rewire my brain .

    But the fucked up thing is I developed an interest in this genre right about the the regular porn stopped really working , 18 years and my brain needs a long break.

    But I came across this and oh look it's new ,my brain doesn't need to try , it's new, there are some hot ts on these cams and it's the strangest fucking thing my brain is getting stimulated again , a chick with a god damn dick wtf.

    I know its only porn related , but the fact that it's a new source of online stimulation means it's just a continuation from my many years of.porn and I want to stop porn in general , it's obvious now where regular porn leads to after many many years and thats desensitisation to regular porn and to regular women, you couldnt think it up. Your literally fucking up your brain .

    So I need to stop porn to fix my brain , like I have done before .

    But yea ryt about the time I've escalated and the addiction is still there .

    Had I not found this genre I could go NoFap and fix this.

    It's a mind boggle .
    You just have to not give into it.

    I have found what my triggers are. I can abstain.

    What gets me is when I can sleep or I have been kept awake most of the night , it's like fuck it it's the am the world is dead to me and I need stress relief and throw it all away . Lifestyle triggers the need to fap. And if you fuck up and give in the addiction and strange tastes can continue .

    At the end of the day some guys although they are aware of this genre , and aren't attracted in reality to men. This weird fucking world of porn and this is a dirty girl that doesn't need you to get her horny she's ready to go . So in the world of fapping when you've burnt your brain to a crisp to regular stuff and have stumbled upon this it's damn difficult to say right il leave it at that. But it's just a warped brain and a warped genre , its fucked up you need an easy but bust, and your at an escaltion in material and here we are trying to find a way to stop giving in .

    I wonder if I'd have tried NoFap years ago when it was regular porn could I have , I doubt it. The fact that my material has escalated to this I wreckon it will be easier to do NoFap , because it's literally not my taste in reality it's simple an online world of stimulation that needs a serious break. Everytime I watch this stuff my life's up in the air . Just like it was with regular porn
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
  12. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Many thanks for your reply and very detailed answer. I really appreciate the time you took for the message.

    Would you recommend dating cis woman during the reboot?
    And again how long is the reboot or recommended time before dating ( I know it depends on me but what would be a good minimum amount of weeks/months)?

    I personally feel a bit confused during my reboot so far. I mean if everything goes good with a girl, I would love it but if it goes bad I think I would get very sad. I feel that girls are approching me lately and even asking me for my number. This never happens. I am always the one who approch girls and ask them for numbers even if they have not given any signs or looks that they like me.

    anyways, I really like your analyse even if you do not know me.
    Yes I think you are right regarding the thrill and risqueness with a TS girl, it gives a extra spice in life. But is that what I really want or is it like a drug. I mean after sex and everything is this still what I would like to have in my life, present to my family, be with my friends and live a happy and fullfilled life?
    That I can only answer after my reboot. Meanwhile, I should look for a romantic relationship and consistent sex with a cis woman as you said. Until I am really sure what I want and then examine my desires if I would have any for ts girls.

    2-3 years sounds really harsh but maybe it is what is best for me. This addiction and time with ts girls have not really helped me. I mean all the time I have spent looking, dating, been online and etcetera. Has it really giving me any happiness and positive impact on my life?
    I really do not know.




     
  13. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Dating during the reboot is a very good idea. Bonding behaviors will help your brain rewire to women much more easily. Sexual activities that do not include your penis are also a good way of releasing sexual energy.

    Rebooting with a partner: What about sex?
    Do I have to have sex in order to rewire?
    Tools to Connect With Others

    Ideally, you should start dating immediately. A reboot does not interfere with your romantic life, just your sex life.

    Overall, the reboot really helps clear things up in your mind. Many of your thoughts and decisions will be a lot more clear.
     
  14. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

    I think we shouldn't demonize ourselves for our porn tastes and desires because it's not our fault.

    They say our sexual orientation and fetishes are established at a very young age (by 10 we should more or less know), so ... I guess anything that establishes later ... should be porn-induced. I don't really mind, I used to think I was broken inside and a dirty person for my desires and fetishes, but after my last visit to a shrinker, that changed. I told her (part of my) fetishes and my problem with porn, and she didn't consider I had a problem. I didn't quit PMO that time, but it made me accept myself somehow. Years passed and during my last PMO strike, 4 years ago, I started reading a book that explained how sex and desires works in our brain (I was enjoying that book, but I don't know why I didn't finish reading it and now I can't remember the title). That book made me understand my sexuality even more.

    Lately, when I PM, I try to start many times with straight genres but in many occasions I end up with these other genres. But you know what? I'm not ashamed of that. The porn I watched to orgasm doesn't define at all either the person I am or my sexuality. And I'm not to blame for my fetishes, they're ok ... I'm ok. I'm a good person and I don't hurt anybody with them (maybe it would hurt my wife if she founds out, but that was only because it's difficult to understand someone's else fetishes when you don't have any). The thing is ... I live in peace with myself at this regard.

    Now I'm trying to quit porn ... not because it's affecting me in some way (physical or mental) or I feel sad about it, but because I've decided I don't want/need this dependency in my life anymore.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2019
  15. Silverson

    Silverson Fapstronaut

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    Thanks bro!
    Yes, then I should date but not have sex. Why does that sound so harsh as well :)
    But it makes sense.

    Yes, I totally agree with you, I think the best effect with my reboot is that I see my thoughts more clearly and that helps me to make better decisions.

    Many thanks for your support! You are a blessing!
     

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