Traumatic masturbation syndrome

Hey guys I’m still learning a lot about this and it’s very hard to get answers for I have spent the last week many hours reading people’s comments and stuff about this. What I’m really hoping for is someone who has experienced and recovered from this to give me some advice or input. Maybe you can help a lot of people who are experiencing this because I know I’m not alone. I’m 30 and I lost my virginity about a year and half ago when I was 29. The first night I got in bed with this girl she gave me oral and I felt nothing and eventually lost my erection after about 10 minutes. I didn’t think much of it because I’ve heard stories about guys not coming from Oral. The next night she took my virginity and I felt nothing. My dick felt numb inside her. I couldn’t even tell if I was inside at first and realized my penis lost sensitivity. I started losing my erection after changing positions probably because I got in my head about it. So I started reading about the way I masturbated. I used a pillow since I was around 10 years old. About 20 years and I realized after some googling that it’s really bad and called Prone masturbation. Now I didn’t know I how bad and I was excited that I lost my virginity. So I had a few hookups over the last year while still prone masturbating and everytime I felt nothing. I couldn’t cum and never have from sex. My penis feels numb inside a vagina I have no sensitivity. I’m just going through the motions. I eventually realized I’m never gonna cum with the state my penis is in rn and now the last 2 girls I’ve had sex with i can’t last more then 5 minutes without losing my erection. Which I believe is from me worrying and thinking about not being able to feel much or cum. The last girl I had sex with was last week and at one point I asked her is it in and this offended her understandably. She asked me what was wrong and she is the first person i told that I can’t feel anything during intercourse. She was pretty understanding but I know it bothers her that I can’t keep an erection long and she wants me to cum. I am now 4 months and 1 week into no prone masturbation and I won’t go back to it. The first month I quit I easily from day 1 was able to cum with my hand. By day 2 I started masturbating with my hand 2 or 3x a day and I did that the whole 1st month I quit prone masturbating. I started noticing that my penis was not responding well to using my hand and that I was doing something wrong because I started to notice the hour glass shape in my shaft when I was semi erect and this went away when I was fully erect. I stopped masturbating for a few days the 2 month and the hour glass shape started to go away. So I really cut back and took a week off but then had a few days where I did it and had the hour glass show up again. I realize I was going pretty fast with my hand and using a tight grip with probably too much pressure so I took some more days off but I still was masturbating just alot less then that 1st month. Now the 3rd month I really cut back went over a whole week without masturbating. Then I did it maybe once or twice a week and when I was at the end of my 3rd month (12 weeks after prone) I tried having sex again hoping for better results. I did have stronger erections. I had morning wood sometimes. I had a higher sex drive. I felt more sensitive when I touched myself masturbating by hand. But when I had sex I was still not feeling enough sensitivity. I want to believe i felt a lil more sensation during intercourse. But overall I still felt numb inside her. I could not cum because it feels like nothing. I’m still not feeling like my sensitivity is back enough for intercourse and I’m still losing my erections after a few minutes and when she wants to change position forget I’m getting soft. Now I think a lot and that could be a problem with me losing my erections because the last couple times I’ve had sex. I be expecting to feel something and when I don’t it gets to my head. I have no problem getting really hard but when I penetrate and feel nothing and no sensitivity it starts to make me think too much. This is really bothering me because I just want to enjoy sex and feel something. I want to cum but there is no way rn. I’ve read other peoples comments that have said they have this same problem but I haven’t heard anyone say they fixed it but there is people out there saying this could be fixed. Do I need more time then 4 months possibly? I know I was probably using “death grip” the first month almost two and that probably didn’t help at all with getting my sensitivity back. But I guess what I’m really looking for is some hope that maybe someone here has had this happen and fixed it. Has anyone had a numb penis during sex and recovered? I just want to feel enough stimulation to keep my erection to satisfy my partner and cum. I appreciate anyone here that can help me out or give me advice. If I fix this I will come back and make sure to pass on my experience for the next person having this problem.

 

The last time I masturbated with my hand was 9 or 10 days ago and I did it like 3 times that day with a light grip which I know was too much in one day. Before that day I probably was going a whole week without masturbation. But 8 days ago I had sex like a day or two days after I masturbated and my dick still has a numb feeling during intercourse. I couldn’t cum and was losing my erection after a few minutes of not feeling enough stimulation. I can say that about 2 days ago I woke up with morning wood which is a good sign. Something I haven’t had in years. Today I’ve made it 4 months & 2 weeks without prone masturbation. I def can tell my sensitivity is a lot better when I masturbate with my hand I can cum pretty fast less than 10 minutes when I do. My penis no longer has that hour glass shape when I was semi erect so I think that was definitely a sign that I was using the “death grip”. I haven’t watched porn in over a month maybe two. I use pictures from a girl I talk too when I do

 

Thanks for the response! I don’t even want to masturbate or have sex for while. The last time I had sex last week broke me mentally. I fell for this girl Ive been friends with for years. We started going on dates the last 2 months. She really liked me and when I had sex with her for the first time a lil over a month ago. I was having this problem and I would lose my erections after a few minutes. She started acted different with me and told me she was not satisfied with the sex. I told her I was nervous and not really experienced which is true. But I didn’t tell her my dick was numb to sex. I knew we would try again. So last week (8 days ago) was when we tried again. 3 weeks after we had sex and same result expect she called me out during sex about why I was losing my erection. She said what’s wrong? I had to tell her the truth about my dick feeling numb and lost sensitivity from too much masturbation. She was in a way relieved that it was me and not her I can tell. She told me she could understand how too much masturbation can kill my sensitivity and told me to stop. She told me she was bothered when I asked her “is it in” she didn’t understand how I didn’t know and I told her it because my dick feels numb during sex. She asked me if I have had this problem with other girls and I told her that I have never cum from sex and that I’ve had this problem since I lost my virginity a little over a year ago. I told her I’ve read a lot about the way I masturbated and told her I shouldn’t be having sex or masturbating for a few months but she made it hard for me to not want to have sex because I like her and I know sex is important to her. She told me she wants me to last longer then 5 minutes which I can understand. She’s not satisfied because I can’t keep an erection long. She also has a fetish with wanting me to cum inside her which I can’t. She’s has taken a step back from me since that night. We still talk but the vibe has changed. This has left me heartbroken that I can’t satisfy her and I don’t even know if I ever will be able to. This has broken me to not even want to masturbate now. I spent probably 50 hours or more this week researching send reading peoples stories about this on the internet. I’m really hoping I didn’t damage nerves or something that can’t be fixed. She was the first person in my life I opened up to about my life and this problem I’m having. I feel like I lost her at this point and I don’t want this to happen to me again with someone I care about. The other girls I just hooked up with so I didn’t care as much but this girl I really wanted a relationship with and made me realize I can’t have one with the problem I’m having

 

Yea you’re right that I shouldn’t be having sex. I just really liked this girl and I guess I was hoping that me stopping prone that after 4 months I would be okay but I realized that I had other bad habits and switching to my hand with the “death grip” for the 1st month and half was not any better then prone for curing my sensitivity. I will admit I was a heavy but only weed smoker everyday for about 13 years. I’m now 3 weeks off smoking and not going back. I didn’t realize I’d feel this much better without it. I started working out alot these last 2 weeks because I work at a desk job and don’t get enough exercise. I’m not a big guy (5’8 and 160 lbs) and I’m caring some extra weight not much but it’s all in my stomach so I have a skinny fat appearance with my shirt off. Im def focusing on the gym now to keep my mind off masturbation and smoking. I don’t even have the urge to smoke or masturbate now because I want to get my body right. I actually did an ice bath the other day for the first time in my life because of all the positive studies about taking cold showers and ice baths. I’m hoping that maybe that will help my penis heal or wake up some of the nerves some how. Ive never heard of anyone doing this to heal there penis but I’m willing to try I don’t think it could hurt

 

I’m on 5 months now of no prone masturbation. I did it for 20 years and I’m 30 now. I don’t know if I’m recovered but probably not yet since I had sex 3 weeks ago and I was still struggling with my sensitivity and ed. I have noticed alot better erections since I quit though. So I do recommend you stop. I’m holding hope that I will recover in the next 6 months or so. I don’t plan on having sex for a while but it’s hard to not talk to women for me and they all want sex. The last girl I had sex with really broke me mentally because we both liked each other but she wasn’t satisfied with the sex and I can’t even blame her because i’m having a problem. We stopped talking it’s been 3 weeks and thats been tough for me the last 2 almost 3 weeks I have been masturbating by hand almost every day. I need to stop because I know it’s not helping me feel better. I’m gonna try and stop masturbation by hand also for a few months if I can. I’ve never gone longer than a month without masturbation. I’ll never go back to prone after what it’s done to me not only physically but emotionally. I feel the same way you do about not being able to have a relationship your not alone