--Trigger alert-- My story of addiction in short

Hi everyone, I'm new on this forum that I discovered about a week ago. Ever since I've been struggling with addiction, but without knowing it, without perceiving that this addiction is influencing heavily my life in the past few years. First of all I apologize for my bad English, but I'm Italian and I'm not very confortable in writing English, especially this kind of things.
From what I remember my addiction begun when I was 16 or 17 yo, ever since I was masturbating but not much (once a week) and without porn.
I'm a very introvert person, I used to be very shy with people I didn't know well, but with people I love I always tried to give the best of me.
I suffered anxiety and a moderate depression after my parents divorced, it was a hard period of my life, where I feel like I'm being used from my parents as a tool in their divorce sentence. My father told me to go to live with him, my mother the same thing, and they pressure me with a choice I was not prepared for. I reacted isolating myself, crying everyday, feeling desperate.
Somehow this period passes, and I begin to watch porn. I don't even know how I ended up in this painful situation, but so it is.
Shortly before my parents divorce I was deep in love with a girl, that rejected me the first time I tried to tell her i like her. It was hard, and since so I never tell a girl that I like her, even if it was what I feel.
In the past two years thing got worse everyday, anxiety, social anxiety, depression got rid of my spirit, and I can't see a light. I've been with a terapist after the divorce, but when I felt a bit better I quit going, I don't even know why, maybe it's a perversion of my soul.
--TRIGGER ALERT--
Like most of you on this site I begun PMO searching some relief from this overwhelming emotions I felt during days and nights. But, like always, this relief was temporary, leaving me empty, shameful and fearful. I begin with soft porn, but my ascent was really fast, and in a short period of time I begun watching a strange category of porn. I begin saying that I always liked girls, I've never MO thinking about a man, but here's a strange thing.
--TRIGGER ALERT PASS OVER IF YOU DON'T FEEL READY--
In the last period I PMO only on porn videos showing girls riding big cocks. I felt pleasure in seeing a girl riding big cock and moaning. I have me thinking how is to have such a big cock and pleasure all the girls. It's kinda perverse. I feel into my spirit that it is wrong and misleading, but I can't stop think at it (and I fear of being gay?). Anyone on this forum that feels the same can give me some tips to stop identifying in such thoughts? I'm really struggling to overcome this toughts, even now that I'm writing this.
--NOT TRIGGER FROM HERE--
Now I'm on a 5 days streak and I'm really convinced to overcome my urges and begin a new life. Good luck everyone warriors!
PS: if you have some tips, tricks to manage this addiction, I would be very happy if you shared them with me. Thank you all