Triggers-

When someone fap he felt bad feeling towards this action and feel like he made a big guilty, depressed and really anyone at this time need one to support him and keep him motivate

From your words I think he admit that he is doing something wrong, so why not you be the reason that makes him he want to stop
you be the person that motivates him
give him a chance.

When you not beside him who should be ?
When you decide that you will be apart from him, Did you really think that will make things be more better ? you maybe make him more depressed right now.

Give him a chance, motivate him, always tell him that you will be beside him and you will not let him be alone

 

@Real Roboin,

I have to disagree with ooo123, whose approach can work sometimes, but I have to say, it's very rare when a guy is truly addicted. Sure he needs support from his community, but he also has to have a reason to get better.

I've been researching this issue for decades and have seen that if a separation doesn't make the guy want to get better (because with most guys the only thing that will motivate them to give up the porn is loss and pain) then the best thing you can do is get distance.


Triggered by...
The way I see it there are a few things triggering you:
-Your son's request to have the father around.
-The odd address on google maps.
-The fact that your guy clicked on bikinis.


Evidence
It's normal to want to get evidence. The therapists in my Betrayal Trauma Training said this was called 'truth checking'. Some would even say to get evidence, otherwise certain guys WILL lie, causing us to doubt our gut instincts.

As long as it doesn't become an obsession or goes on for too long, the trainers allowed it.


Back 20 Steps
The reason you may have 'gone back 20 steps' is because it's possible you've been re-traumatized by your guy's continued pursuit of other women.

And I know you son means well, but anytime someone pressures us to go faster than feels safe, it can cause a re-traumatization as well.


Sentimental
So be careful when someone tries to appeal to your sentimentality. Your safety matters just as much (possibly more) than your son's warm fuzzy feelings. Plus, your son can always spend time with his father on his own.

No one has to understand it for you to hold your boundaries.



Thoughts?