Trouble identifying with people

It is difficult to be interested in ....... what you're not interested in. (Requires a lot of effort ......or acting.......... with is 'taxing'..... or stressful.)

Don't know if the woman was a customer or date? At any rate "chemistry or soulmates or great friends" = when 2 people have Lots in Common; Similar Interests; Similar Goals; Similar Viewpoints


I guess that women "process things verbally"....................... So...... in order to "think"........... they have to talk. From males perspective (guess we "think" internally) it can be very, very, annoying................................................ Sometimes when a woman goes............ on................................and ............................on......................... and ............................... on..................................and on............................... I want to look for a gun to blow My head off......(to stop the onslaught of seemingly Meaningless words of things we usually don't give a _______ about. Men want summaries........ women like details (it seems)....................... But to her it is important. Which is why women should have Girlfriends to listen and talk with them for 4 hours (PLUS) daily.............

I think you are being too hard on yourself. Some Men and Women you identify with and enjoy talking with. Other people have different interests (etc.) than you.......... so you get bored........ or look for a gun.

So you are normal.

Find peoples that you want to talk with -- and that want to talk to you.......... = Happiness.
Avoid people with different interests............ or be polite to customers at work.

How to Escape -- if you start getting bored............. or annoyed, you might say, "I'd really like to chat with you....... but I have an important call to make; or I promised to call back a vendor/customer/business partner etc."

 

So why didn't you bring up a topic that you're interested in talking about with that woman?

 

I want to put a few things down here...
Firstly, I have no advice. I'm not going to tell you to try to be more familiar with people and make small talk; I'm certainly not going to tell you to search for someone who truly excites you.
It's a big world out there, I'm sure, but you certainly can't see it all.

I have this fantasy of mine, to meet a woman who truly fascinates me. Heck it doesn't even have to be a woman, that's just me romanticizing (given it is indeed my fantasy). Just some people that I have an affinity for. Sure there are many I can get along with, have a few laughs - but I'm never really satisfied. I'm sure many have such issues, and that may just be because despite the hustle and bustle of life- it's pretty lonely.

After pondering on it for a while, I've just put it aside.
I have no answer.

I'm not sure if that relates to you much because I may have simply misunderstood your situation. However from what I read, it would appear we share that dilemma. So I put this down to satisfy my whims.

 

Are you guys just waiting for these ideal people to come into your life someday or are you actually doing something about meeting more people?

On another note, try a different approach.

Instead of being self centered via thoughts like "what can I get from this person?" / "can this person amuse me?" / "is this person worthy of my attention?" / "can this person excite me?"... why don't you try having a positive effect on the people you meet. What can you do for this person? How can you excite / amuse this person? How do you make this person feel valued, appreciated, heard, understood, and important?

What this does is switches your energy from "I'm bored, amuse me... nope you're boring"... to "how can I have a positive effect on others". Even if you have nothing to say, your eye contact, body language, vocal tonality, smiling, etc will leave an impact.

So instead of worrying about trying to find the ideal person so much, work on being the ideal version of yourself. Wherever you go there you are. If you're a bored person, you will be bored almost everywhere and with almost everyone.

 

Did you not have another thread with some conflicting ideas to what you've written here?...

Though it's certainly true such individuals can 'maximize' their chances by meeting more people, it's difficult to know any given person well enough to make an informed decision on whether you want to pursue them. All you have to go on is impressions. A twisted version at best.

And as far as self improvement and the like goes- you've said it yourself in that other thread: It's usually just avoiding the problem, and especially if prompted by another party, is just another form of wishful thinking and skewed ideals.
People like I can acknowledge how far fetched these fantasies are from reality, indeed usually it is because reality isn't good enough. (This is a reason people use pornography anyway)

If I can get by, amused and entertained- I think that'll be good enough. Regardless of the method.

 

I contradict myself all the time because I generally don't know what the hell I'm talking about and I'm easily confused lol.

Sure. You have to take a chance on people, but the alternative is..... not taking a chance on people?

You're saying the real / root problem is loneliness?

There's no problem if you're good with the way you are, but the reason you have such fantasies is because it bothers you.