Trouble

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Nam, Feb 23, 2017.

  1. Nam

    Nam New Fapstronaut

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    I know the fundamentals of nofap. I've been free of porn and masturbation for about 1 month now.

    I started watching porn at about age 11, and I would use magazine clips years before that.

    So I understand it will take much longer to rewire my brain. But I can't help but ask for reassurment.

    *19 y/o now*


    I've *attempted* to fool around with this girl for a while now. First time, I was under the influence, so I figured that was due to that. The second time I was under the influence of a psychoactive, so I assumed that was also understandable (my penis was grey when I looked at it).

    We tried again a few days later, still mission failed.

    That was 1 year ago.

    *3 months ahead*
    I meet a different girl, not much of my type but we hook up anyway. She isn't that pretty, or fit or any thing that I'm into.
    Buuut, I had a decent erection. Enough to get the job done.
    She claims she's bisexual but never had sex with a guy.


    "Stop! It hurts, I'm sorry I can't" she says

    GAME OVER.


    *Fast forward to now*

    Still a virgin

    (1 month into nofap)


    We try again. Watched a movie and Had some foreplay during. Then got busy after it was over. buuuuuut Mission failed. We are extremely comfortable around each other. Still not dating but we act like it. No anxiety or pressure.

    I'm going to continue nofap.
    But I'm scared I will have this problem for many months to come.

    Sorry before hand for any spelling errors. Im in a rush.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2017
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  2. Doffy

    Doffy Fapstronaut

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    No matter how many times you fail as long as you keep trying you'll find the right situation :)
     
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  3. NoneForMeThanks

    NoneForMeThanks Fapstronaut

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    Nam,

    I abstained from anything sexual for 6 months. I didnt try anything at all within that period. after that I performed like a champ. My best advice is to abstain from ALL sexual stimulation (masturbation, edging, P, PSub) for a period of atleast 3 months. Dont worry, time will fix this issue!!!

    -None
     
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  4. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    What He Said ! :)
     
  5. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

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    Time heals all wounds, really, but only if you combat your mind and perspectives on the problem themselves.
     
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  6. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

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    Nam. No worries.

    Sex is a dance that can only be accomplished when we have both tension and space to relax. It's not a dance that everyone learns in the first class.

    PMO will definitely make the dance harder to learn. Stay strong, your reboot will help keep your head clear, and let you perform under the best conditions.

    Other than that, you will have to go slow, and explore to learn how to achieve that place of relaxation. The fact that your erections are coming and going says that your plumbing is all intact and healthy. Now you just have to learn to operate the switches to turn it on and off. This is what we mean to learn to relax.

    Again, stay strong. Let the reboot work, and the dance will come to you easier. It will work.
     
  7. TetsuoAkira

    TetsuoAkira Fapstronaut

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    I think that focusing on the other person's needs first is a great way to ease the pressure on your own performance. Try closing your eyes, give your partner pleasure, listen to her sounds, be responsive, calm and collected.
     
  8. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Please don't have sex with someone you are NOT attracted to!

    It's not fair on her.

    I like that tip above though, about focusing on her pleasure to take pressure off your own performance. :)
     

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