Troubled, yet determined. Hope and belief.

H

highD

Fapstronaut
I am a 21 year old Indian who started watching porn and masturbating to orgasm since my 7th grade i.e, since 9 years. My life has been devastated since. No 'real' happiness, no 'true' emotions, no 'proper' socializing, no 'focused' work. However, being good at studies I cracked my tough entrances for the graduation and got admitted to some prestigious college (IIT, PS: Indians would know).

People tell college life is the best, while mine sucked to the core. Reason being, I don't know. That is the most frustrating part, I don't know why my life is always miserable. No possible dating life, no possible girls in life, no proper aim towards career; I was lost. I graduated without any job at hand and started preparing for Job entrance exams. This preparation has pointed out the problems in my life and what caused them. I masturbate like 2-3 times a day, with numerous sexual desires and fantasies. Some week ago, I was too much into studies that I was not active sexually for almost 5-6days which felt so good. The difference being, I wasn't having sexual thoughts and was not masturbating. At this vulnerable I realized I was an addict to porn and masturbation and like smoking and drugs this is too a highly addictive and dangerous craving. I decided that, for all good causes, for being focused on studying, for building a proper career, for succeeding at my goals and targets, for being a better person, for having a good social and mental life I will try NoFap!

Starting today, I hope NOFAP community helps me overcome my miserable life and make me a better person for better world.

5th of JULY 2020, I take an oath of No PMO!!!
 
Welcome to the community man! You made one of the best decisions in your life, trust me. We are all here to help each other beat this addiction. This community will give the support and motivation you need on your journey.

I can attest how being addicted to pmo makes your life hell. I never understood why I ALWAYS felt like shit: intense brain fog, concentration and focus problems, social anxiety, anxiety, no motivation or drive, no energy, and no confidence. I was living in this fog for years, not knowing what was going on with me. Unfortunately, the medical field doesn't help and only treats symptoms and still backs the idea that pmo is normal and healthy...lol. It wasn't until I found the idea of NoFap in 2018 that changed my mindset. That the solution was right in front of me the whole time. Pmo seems so innocent on the surface level- it's easily accessible, everyone does it (socially acceptable), and it's 'normal'. When I learned how pmo was affecting my brain the same way hard core drugs would, was when I got serious. It took me almost two years to finally come in terms that I have a serious addiction and needed help. I then joined this community, and it's been a game-changer in my journey. I know it will be the same for you. Take it a day at a time. I know it's simple but really try hard to focus on today, not tomorrow. Also, research how pmo is damaging your brain- it's really bad. The more you know about how the brain is affected by pmo, the better you'll be. Let me know if you ever need anything- I'm usually on a few times a week.
 
Life Project said:
This community will give the support and motivation you need on your journey.
Click to expand...
Thanks for giving me a good assurance. Good to hear that you are doing well. I just started reading about the symptoms on the brain, its evil!
I don't meditate and I heard that it helps a lot. Do you seem to know where can I start my way?
 
highD said:
Thanks for giving me a good assurance. Good to hear that you are doing well. I just started reading about the symptoms on the brain, its evil!
I don't meditate and I heard that it helps a lot. Do you seem to know where can I start my way?
Click to expand...
Both meditation and cold showers help a ton- both increase willpower, which you'll need to beat urges along the way. I've never studied meditation in great detail. I learned a lot of my meditation practice from a wise man from India. For me, meditation is about conscious awareness. Being hyper-aware of thoughts coming in while you meditate. Don't be mad or harsh towards the thoughts. Once you are aware of the thought, then refocus the mind to the breath. Do this for every thought that comes in while you meditate. This will help you clear the mind and start viewing yourself separate from the mind. There's a lot more that can be said on this topic, but I wanted to give you a quick overview.
 
Life Project said:
his will help you clear the mind and start viewing yourself separate from the mind
Click to expand...
That's so spiritual. I am an Indian myself, yet I have less knowledge about Meditation. I have practiced it some times when I am into yoga but never this soulful. Thanks for the input, I will try meditation.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top