True love doesn't really exist

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Nov 14, 2017.

  1. True love where there's a single right guy or girl out there for you. This is obviously not real, bc you can "fall in love" w another person after you're done w them.

    If you have a significant other, in a semi-serious scale, are they really the one and only love of your life? Doubt it. I'm not claiming you don't "love" that person, but you can't love another person?

    Take a marriage, for example. People get divorced all the time, it's just something that kinda happens at this point. So what if your wife broke it off and she was your "love"? Does that mean you can never "love" another person again? Of course not.

    If somebody is wondering why I put quotations around "love", it's bc love is just an emotion. Therefore, you cant really have a "true love". Youre next SO is out there, but love is a grey area.

    Let me break it down for yall. For me, for example, I love certain things. Money, girls, music, sports etc. This changes with age, but you see? I want to have the things I love in my life, but not for them to run it.

    So if I met a nice girl tomorrow in class and started dating for a while, I could fall in love w her. But if I skipped class and went to the bar and got drunk, met a different girl. Same thing happens, I could possibly fall in love w this woman. ALSO, just to put it out there, I could fall in love w my dog. It's just an emotion.

    So can you love another human being? Sure. Does love exists in that you were waiting for this one person your entire life? Of course not, that's silly. That's unnatural, in every relationship theres a hefty amount of arguments.

    When you get out of a serious longterm relationship; you don't miss the person, you miss the routine.
  2. Not sure I completely agree. I did miss my ex when the relationship ended, sure I missed the routine but I also missed her. The subject of love has already been discussed on several threads, but I will say true love isn't something you feel it's something you do.

    Romantic love is a trap designed to get two people to overlook each other’s faults long enough to get some babymaking done. It generally only lasts for a few years at most. That dizzying high you get staring into your lover’s eyes as if they are the stars that make up the heavens — yeah, that mostly goes away. It does for everybody. So, once it’s gone, you need to know that you’ve buckled yourself down with a human being you genuinely respect and enjoy being with, otherwise things are going to get rocky.

    True love — that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy — is a choice. It’s a constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstances. It’s a commitment to a person who you understand isn’t going to always make you happy — nor should they! — and a person who will need to rely on you at times, just as you will rely on them. -
    Mark Manson
  3. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

    Sounds like monogamy is not for you and you want to be in a polyamorous relationship.
  4. No. I just said you could love multiple people, not that you should.
  5. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

    Who ever said loving multiple people wasn’t possible?
  6. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

    I suspect we all have a finite capacity for love. We have a pool of emotional love that we can use, but it never gets fully replenished. We therefore need to be very careful how we use this precious resource and not take it for granted.

    While we may be able to fall in love with multiple people during our lives, I'm not convinced that the experience is the same. Whether true or not there is certainly a lot of anecdotal evidence pointing to the depth of feeling in someone's first love.
  7. Even a very wise man at the end of his life would have a tough time choosing the perfect soul mate. The "true" soul mate is the person you chose to marry, the person you made that commitment to, regardless of whether or not they were the "perfect" match for you.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Absolutely, unequivocally false. Love is NOT an emotion. Attraction is an emotion. Happiness is an emotion. Love is a choice. It's sacrifice, it's compromise, it's putting someone else's needs above your own.

    But the rest of what you're talking about sounds like what most people would call "soul mates," which I don't believe in. I love my husband, and honestly I really can't imagine being happier with anyone else. However, if I had married my most recent ex, I would probably be pretty happy as well. I don't think I'd be quite as happy, because my man is very unique and I've never met anyone like him, but there are plenty of guys I've liked in the past who I think I would probably be pretty happy with too.

    That's not love. That's infatuation and attraction and lust.
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

    A relationship should be considered akin to a work of art, and one that is a life long process. It could never be a contract between two egos... even if 'well-adjusted'. This is why marriage is considered a sacrament in the Church, and also not for everyone. At some point, too much was made of marriage, as the defining element of 'society', with its collapse now too little is being made of it.
  10. I always say love is an action not a feeling
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. I've been in love more than once in my life- so from that point of view yes you are right- you can experience being in love more than once.

    However, I have never (whilst being in love) randomly fallen in love with someone else - my loves all happened at separate times and I've experienced different kinds of loves the gradual building of love together, where your feelings grow and change with another person over time.

    I have also experienced that incredible whirlwind many times where you see that person and you feel as though you have been shot! That it takes all of your strength to cope with how much you love them, just being beside them makes you feel like electric is running through your body, their touch can send you to heights of happiness you didn't even know existed!

    I think ultimately it will vary between different people- some people will love one person for life- believe in "soul mates" or not- that does happen- others will fall in love often and others might never experience true love.
  12. First, attraction is not an emotion. And I get it, you're in love w your husband. But you alter things to make it work, which you already agreed with.

    Why would you say that last sentence? You would had to have some feeling of attraction w your lovers at first. Love at first sight doesn't exist. I can pretty much guarantee that your lovers and you didn't just meet and fall in love. You meet, think you want to see them again bc they're "nice, funny, sexy, etc." Then you fall in love after a while, or rather fall in love w the system.

    We dont seem to fundamentally disagree...once again.

    One thing to leave y'all on. In my Psych class we learned physical attraction only last 6 months. So if you are dating somebody, if your still w them 6 months later that means you are attached to them emotionally at that point. Is this point called love? Is attachment/sacrifice to another person called love? Is love real? Why does love matter? These are questions we just don't know.
  13. Nobody. I still want just one girl relationship not that poly bullsh*t. You know I mean?
  14. And I know some girls that specifically don't hook up w guys to much bc they're afraid they'll get attached. On the contrary, I know girls who specifically search for "love".

    And one thing I hate is when you're in a relationship and try to change the person. If it's a pretty significant change leave em.
  15. Of course I do... That's how marriage works. What's your point?

    Yeah, no duh. I didn't say attraction wasn't a part of it. But what you've described, falling in love with one person one day and falling in love with another person the next day, is not love. Love doesnt happen in a day and it can be thrown away in a day either. Feelings can happen in a day, but as I've already said, love is not merely a feeling.

    I'm very confused. This seems completely contradictory to your previous example. That's the exact point I was making, that love doesn't happen instantly. I don't believe in love at first sight either. That's nonsense.

    Never said we did.

    I agree, we don't know and they are subjective questions that everyone is going to have different opinions on. I don't have a solid, verbal explanation of exactly what love is, but I know it when it happens. I've also had experiences in which I thought I was in love, only to layer realize that it wasn't quite love. I would say when it comes to romantic love, I've been "in love" twice in my life. However, love isn't just used for romance, and you can certainly love someone without being "in love" with them.
  16. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    I'd like to add... I think people confuse "being in lust" with "being in love"
    & we should really do something about teaching a distinction two better.
    I've been in lust a few times...
    Only been in love once.
  17. Absolutely. And you can be in love with someone and be in lust with another pretty easily, but to be in love with two people at once is far less likely. Because loving someone also means not wanting to hurt them, and giving your heart to someone else will hurt them.
    Deleted Account and Kenzi like this.
  18. Yanis

    Yanis Fapstronaut

    I agree. When people talk about "love" mostly these are intense emotions.

    Don't fall in love, rise in love.

    Why do you relate "love" to another human being? Love is a feeling, true love is not outside but deep inside your heart. "The kingdom of heaven is within" - and that's true love, true happiness. Those who are thirsty for it will find it.
  19. I think the trouble with love it's such a vague word. In many other languages they use words for different type of loves.

    Like in Ancient Greek we have these words for love:
    Eros - Sexual or passionate love
    Philia - Love between friends
    Storge - Love a parent feels for their child or children
    Agape - Unconditional love
    Ludus - Playful or uncommitted love
    Mania - Obsessive love
    Pragma - Conditional love
    Philautia - Self love

    Thanks to the simplicity of English we get in a right mess when it comes to the subject of love.
  20. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    If you guys think true love doesn't exist, check out @Deadlihood's signature and tell me we weren't made for each other!
    Deadlihood likes this.

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