try and try again

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by yankurdoodlejohnson91, Oct 17, 2014.

  1. yankurdoodlejohnson91

    yankurdoodlejohnson91 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello, As with all awkward fap anxiety induced introductions goes for me,
    I have no ideal where to start.. So I guess I just share about my struggle
    with fapping and trying NoFap.. Being 23 I have been a hardcore internet
    porn addict since i guess around the 4th grade. I suspect it has filled my life
    with unnecessary anxiety/depression (maybe even ocd/adhd)
    which directly contributed
    to me making very poor decisions in key points of my life till now e.g. dropping out of school
    in the 6th grade for a life of internet porn all day every day till roughly my current age.
    (never technically finished a grade since then. I tried to go back every few years but it was stressful
    and that lead to porn binges and dropping out again and again and again.) I regress, a few years ago I
    started reading up on NoFap and it's benefits (e.g. curing E.D.) on another site, (yourbrainonporn) So in the back my
    of my mind NoFap is the right thing to do. But the longest I have gone was 2 weeks which is now deep in the past
    2 and half years ago the same time I quit drinking alcohol cold turkey and not 1 drop since. Now today I am at a
    crossroads having accidentally started a NoFap on October 15/16
    (it was a 2 fap in a row afternoon but NoFap before sleep on the 15.)
    I'm not sure how serious I will be this time cause it's unplanned but my goals are to eat healthy and
    exercise everyday and pray for a miracle 30 day NoFap.
    Now the crossroad part is the oh so much temptation is a porn folder on my computer with literally has over 11,000 photos
    and that's just the 3D album. A week ago my goal was to organize this photos into 30 sub-folders according to their similar character traits
    e.g. underwear, full nude, topless, etc. Which i learned quickly would take like a billion hours to do. Now i wonder if i should just delete the
    folder that took thousands of hours of downloading.(and sense of regret not viewing them all.) I have many times in
    the past deleted such folders and all porn off my computer in the past to with no luck with NoFap.
    which i expect is because I could never quit reading ecchi manga/anime. quitting 3d porn is easy but quitting hentai
    I rather tear off all my finger nails. Sorry about the long rant now just trying
    paint of a picture of where stand right now. Oh and trying go to sleep without a fap is very difficult
    A strong point in helping me in NoFap is porn has no feel good appeal right now not even my main fetish does much now, it's just habit and
    release and even painful just to get another fap in.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2014
  2. Dogwood

    Dogwood Fapstronaut

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    What about finding a support group? Since this is a long-term challenge for you, I think you'd find in-person support especially helpful. Also, read up on withdrawal (http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like), and maybe watch the latest new vids on www.yourbrainonporn.com (Adolescent brain and new ED one).

    Deleting your porn collection would be a loud signal to your brain that you mean business, so don't hesitate to do it. It's like an anchor around your neck.

    You're actually still quite young and your brain's plasticity is going to be decreasing by age 25. Now is the time to retrain it. It matters. It's time to amaze yourself. :)

    You can succeed. Good advice here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-advice-observations
     
  3. mada989

    mada989 Fapstronaut

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    Dude, seriously delete that shit. You've got to grow a pair and tell yourself how serious you are about this. Do you want this change or not? There is no half assing this. You won't accomplish what you want unless you dive into this head first. Be the man you want to be and get that trash off your hard drive. How many hours have you wasted collecting those useless photos? How many more hours did you plan to spend organizing them? How much could you better yourself by using those hours for something productive? Get strong, get serious! Stay driven and motivated and it'll be a piece of cake, you've got endless support on this site. Now, like I said. Grow some balls, be a real man, and delete that trash.
     
  4. jocusk84

    jocusk84 Fapstronaut

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    I think you need to take this one day...one hour at a time. I would recommend the following.
    1.) Delete the folder on your computer.
    2.) If your a religious person reach out to the God you believe in...ask for help and guidance.
    3.) Since this is a long term issue, know that a 30 day NoFap is probably not gonna work. Baby steps, try
    7 days first. In my opinion your greatest enemy is the porn not the masturbation. The porn hard wires
    your brain.
    4.) Get involved with volunteering for a charity, something to invest in outside of yourself. Like at a
    soup kitchen, or a nursing home. You will do good for another, stop thinking or feeling lonely,
    and you will feel more appreciated.
     

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