Trying again after a good streak

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Vman363, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. Vman363

    Vman363 Fapstronaut

    So last year, on January 22nd 2018, I started doing nofap. I was masturbating to porn for 20 years, so fapping is burned into my brain. When i did nofap last year, I lasted incredible 4 month! I think the reason I was able to last for so long is because I fell into a flatline for most of the 4 month. And even being in the flatline, I noticed huge benefits - most important one to me was the increased self respect and as a result gained confidence. Also, I had morning woods (and random boners in places such as sitting on a bus) and that was great to see. After about 4 month I relapsed - that was because my first huge flatline ended and I went climbing walls with need to pmo.

    After I relapsed, I tried to go back to NoFap immediatelly, but failed misserably - in fact, I fell back into fapping twice daily since then, and that lasted for a whole year, up until last week. I am now 7 days fap free and I feel like I got back into nofap mindset again and I can again control myself. I've put up a paper page on my wall, marking days how long I lasted - that helps me as a remainder of the progres I will loose if I relapse.

    What I want to ask is if any of you have any methods of how to deal when you exit the flatline? Last time my flatline lasted for over 3 months and after that I could barelly control myself until I relapsed. What are your methods do you use to deal with this?
    Za3boob likes this.
  2. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

    The problem I see with your approach is that you treat quitting porn like an endurance run. And even though there are some elements of discipline and endurance necessary, the core issue of wanting porn in your life isn't solved through mere abstinence.
    If you want to prevent yourself from relapsing in the future you need to examine your relationship to porn as closely as possible. Figure out what attracts you exactly to it. I call that process "destroying the rose-colored glasses". Because addicts are generally in love with their object of addiction. It's akin to a full fledged relationship. So we addicts overestimate the upsides of porn and we underestimate the downsides, because ignorance is bliss.
    It's all about comparing the actual value that porn gives you with the costs of pursuing it. What I found out is when you do that cost/benefit comparison genuinely and accurately porn always loses. And not just by a little bit.

    We reject things that we know are not worth it, even when we're used to wanting them. The impulse to PMO will still arise but it will hit a wall of new rationalizations that it can't break through. PMO will seem so obviously stupid that even in your most horny drunk drugged lonely stupor you'll still reject it.
    It takes some time to erect that wall, for me it took about two weeks. But the result is immunity to triggers and relapse stops being an option.
    iur.striker.ban likes this.

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