Trying for PM in married relationship by rebooting to get better erection & get rid of ED

Hey @Ram*79 ,

I'm nobody special on here. Just a regular user saying, "welcome".

There is so much support on this forum, the profiles and the various groups. It works if you work it. I don't offer advise. I offer only my ESH (experience, strength and hope).

My ESH is that NoFap is about action and that meant work for me. It is not about "not doing something", for me, it is about working my program.

Work it? Oh yeah. There's work to be done, that's what's worked for me. Two things I've found necessary.

1. I had to Learn the NoFap Program.

2. Getting involved with the community on here was vital to help my recovery.

Learn the NoFap Program
The resources listed on the "New Users: List of Rebooting Resources" helped me find my way around the reasons behind the program and the terms used.

They are:

• Download the free Getting Started guide.
  
  
• Set up a PMO-Counter Badge. More info here!
  
  
• Basic introduction to the science of porn addiction!
  
  
• Basic information about rebooting and how our challenges can help you recover from PMO. This is the most important page to read. If you only can read one page, read this one.
  
  
• About NoFap.
  
  
• Watch this video - it is an epic intro resource if you want to get particular details about porn addiction and how it changes how your brain works.
  
  
• This is a good light-weight video about porn addiction.
  
  
• Read through the journal sections and see what other rebooters have experienced. It is good to know what to expect, otherwise the "chaser effect", "the surge", or the "flatline" might throw you off.
  
  
• If you come across vocabulary that you can't understand, check out our rebooting glossary of terms.
  
  
• GET ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR HABITS! Sign up for a peer accountability partner. Otherwise if you want more professional-hosted solutions, check out NoFap Premium or Reboot Camp. If you can afford to invest in yourself, these are great options.
  

You can find this same list on the top of the forum you posted this message on at - the "New to NoFap" forum.

Get Involved with the Community
The community has been my lifeline. I've found journals I love, people who are very supportive and a place where I could get to work helping in a small way others.

Remember, I'm just a normal user with no magic powers. But, I can:

• Read Journals, and comment when I have ESH
  
  
• Find people I admire and stay in touch via their profiles
  
  
• Pick a forum and make sure every post gets and answer. I can't answer them all, but that's good - different opinions make for a better group.
  
  
• Post in my journal (I could be better at it - but I do milestone posts at least) To make a journal go to the section listed by age and start one. Keep all your journal posts in one thread. But, for random thoughts, you can create a new thread.
  

Looking forward to seeing you around on the forums,

--> L

PS – I Think of pmo like a wolf. If I Stay near the center of the group with the winners the wolf has a more difficult time finding me. But, stray near the edges of the community by not working my program and the wolf can pick me off.

 

Hi. Welcome to forum!

Average time it takes for somebody to reboot is 90 days (assuming you avoid porn, masturbation as well as orgasm even during sex - what we here call Hard Mode). If you do easier type of reboot it will probably take more than just 3 months. The stricter the reboot the faster recovery. As far as how long you should avoid porn, preferably permanently. If you resume porn at some point your problems will probably come back. For masturbation, it can be slippery slope cos often it leads to porn. And if you are sexual with wife then there is no reason to ever masturbate. It's usually a replacement for those who do not have sex but if you have sex then I can not see how it is anything more than just compulsion.

You pick the rules of you reboot. But for Hard Mode cuddling is fine.

Anyhow, make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

Check out this Ted talk on mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. There is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations to get you started with formal sitting practice.

Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!