Hi all! I'm a 16 year old whos been on the subreddit for a bit but has since came to the forums because the word reddit is enough of a "trigger" for me. I am insanely nihilistic and have day dreamed about the cliche, angsty teenager who decides to drown themselves in sensory overload of pleasure until they die. It is so painfully hard for me to find meaning to anything but I hope that in actively trying to not to follow in the footsteps of this cliche, I can invent the idea of something honorable to work towards. That being PMO. For someone who claims to be such such a pessimist, boy am I ridden with the guilt and anguish of falling victim to porn. Missed deadlines that piled up into now large losses in opportunity for who I could have became as a person, growing terribly antisocial and losing any semblance of control thanks to hiding away in my room, etc... For someone who claims to be a nihilist, boy do I feel awful for how quickly porn had once made me depraved. I entered that egrigious cycle of desensitivity and frantically searching for hours on end content that would otherwise make me sick to my stomach. Forget that, any kind of pornography should make me sick to the stomach. I've grown terribly apathetic and have barely a fraction of the energy that I used to. I've recently been reading on the amount of exploitation in that industry and I wish I could punch my younger self for ever stumbling upon the internet when I should have been playing outside and enjoying a care-free youth. I can't go back in time but I can change things now, even if the journey will be difficult. I hope I didn't come off as too negative but one of my goals is to focus on my mental and physical health so hopefully I'll grow to see glass half-full. Thank's for accepting me into this community.